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Thread: Crappy Wrestling Jokes Version 2

  1. #801
    Get These Hands Might As Well Be Donald's Avatar
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    If Good Ol' JR lost a heck of a lot of weight, and you broke him in half, would you say "Snap into a Slim Jim!"

  2. #802
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    Q. What did the wrestling fan say when he ran out of his Meds?

    A. What is this crap on tv.

    Old one....

  3. #803
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    Something tells me the Bella Twins should dye their hair red and put it in a Mohawk style and call themselves the Fella Twins

  4. #804
    King Of All Patter virmicious's Avatar
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    germany
    What did Braun strowman say to @Donald when he showed up to his house unannounced for the 100th time?

    I'M THROUGH WITH YOU!

  5. #805
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    Braun Strowman was done in the bathroom, and he went to the sink, and it was one of those sensor taps. He put his hands under the tap but nothing happened. Getting frustrated, Braun yelled "WET THESE HANDS!!!!" and then the tap started working out of fear.

  6. #806
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    ...but then the water stopped too soon like those senor faucets always do and he shouted, "I'M NOT FINISHED WITH YOU!" and then it either started again or peed, we can't be sure.

  7. #807
    Les Be Honest, Guys.... Spudz Mackenzie's Avatar
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    The Gymini and The Heartthrobs are booked on an indie show, shortly after WWE fires both of them. Their match is promoted as being against each other, to capitalize on the short-lived "fame" of both teams. When they arrive to the arena, The Gymini tell the promoter, "You can't call us The Gymini on this show. Because you're putting it on DVD and the WWE owns that name."

    The promoter says, "What do you want us to call you?"

    "Well, we used to be called The Dicks."

    "Okay. We can use that," says the promoter.

    Later on, only one of The Heartthrobs shows up. The other was injured, blowing out his knee in the gym. He can't make the show. The promoter is scrambling to fix the show. He decides to book the Heartthrob and The Dicks as a three-man team against three of his regular guys.

    "Okay, what do you want us to call you?"

    "How about some combination of our team names? The Gymthrobs? Something like that."

    "Got it."

    The promoter sends his three regulars out first. They're his regular guys, but they're underneath guys. One guy is called Reginald Von Master, a black aristocrat. The other is called Corey Bates, a big muscular monster. And their partner is called Shady O'Grasm, a super-sized leprechaun.

    The ring announcer announces the three-man team.

    "Introducing their opponents, The Dickthrobs!"

    "And their opponents, Reginald Von Masters, Corey Breaker, and Shady O'Grasm."

    The announcer does the old-school "repeat the names" thing, saying "Ladies and gentleman, once again your match this evening: Dickthrobs vs. Master, Bates, and O'Grasm."

    The Dickthrobs open the match strong, with the announcer stating, "This super-team is really wearing out Reginald early on. Luckily Master has Bates and later an O'Grasm if he can stand The Dickthrob's pounding long enough."

  8. #808
    Les Be Honest, Guys.... Spudz Mackenzie's Avatar
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    What do Randy Orton and a man with no penis have in common?


  9. #809
    well-dressed jaguar mth's Avatar
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    The Gymini and The Dicks were two different teams. Sorry to pee on your parade.

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    Rusev not being pushed further....that's a pretty crappy joke.

  11. #811
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    Aspiring to become a world famous professional wrestler, Rusev was fresh off the plane from Bulgaria, arriving in the US. Only speaking and understanding the Bulgarian language, he felt it difficult to communicate. He went to a nearby college, and went to the admissions office. They asked him what he needed. Struggling, he whipped out his Bulgarian to English translation book, and managed to put these words together "Aid in English"

  12. #812
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    A bunch of wrestlers were avid soccer players, but after a long, cold and wet winter, they weren't able to play often. One day, in the early spring, it was really nice out. So they decided to play. They went to the sports storage area, and found the ball, and they pulled the goals out onto a field. Noticing something on top of the posts, Dustin Runnels wiped his finger on the top. The other wrestlers asked what it was. Dustin replied: "Goaaaaaal dust!"

  13. #813
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    A horse walked into Sheamus and Cesaro who asked "Why the long face?"

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    Quote Originally Posted by mth View Post
    The Gymini and The Dicks were two different teams. Sorry to pee on your parade.
    Damn it, they were The Johnsons.

    Well, that just ruins my whole joke.

    Oh well, it wasn't any good to begin with.

  15. #815
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    Shawn Stasiak tried to renogiate his contract but Vince didn't want to meat with him.
    Last edited by Badger; February 16th, 2018 at 9:44 PM.

  16. #816
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    If summer Rae married bully Ray she'd become summer ray

    - - - Updated - - -

    If bully Ray lost some weight he wouldn't look like a fat cunt

  17. #817
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    If the Dudleyz worked for BT....

    "D-VON.....GET THE CABLES!!!!!"

  18. #818
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    I turned up at my grandmothers funeral carrying an urn and said in a high-pitched voice, "Nobody messes with The Undertaker!" Afterwards I realized my mom wanted me to be a pallbearer, not Paul Bearer.

  19. #819
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    Why did Bray Wyatt perform the Heimlich maneuver? Because of Chokin' Matt Hardy

  20. #820
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    What does Bray Wyatt call his hair? Nifty Braids of Bray

  21. #821
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    somalia
    What did George The Animal Steele say before he kicked the bucket?


  22. #822
    aka Dixon Cox chrisrandolph1985's Avatar
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    somalia
    AJ Styles, being from the south, said he likes his coffee like he likes his women.


  23. #823
    aka Dixon Cox chrisrandolph1985's Avatar
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    somalia
    Why can't Mr. Fuji drive well?

    Last edited by chrisrandolph1985; August 1st, 2018 at 3:32 PM.

  24. #824
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    What happened when Phil Brooks got in the cold water? CM shrunk

  25. #825
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    Who's Braun Strowman's favourite author?


  26. #826
    aka Dixon Cox chrisrandolph1985's Avatar
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    somalia
    Non wrestling one. Only one

    Why does Michael J Fox make the best milkshakes?


  27. #827
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    I heard Rusev considered cheating on Lana with Asuka, but she decided the time wasn't right.


  28. #828
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    I machka asuka question!

  29. #829
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    Big Cass.


  30. #830
    Screw The Rules GeezaTap's Avatar
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    How does Billy Idol get a wrestler to notice him?

  31. #831
    Shit is orrrn Simon's Avatar
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    zimbabwe


    The fucking buzz when I saw this Geeza.

  32. #832
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    What do you call a Cuban cow? Grazer Ramon

  33. #833
    aka Dixon Cox chrisrandolph1985's Avatar
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    somalia
    The Bar walks into a bar.

    Cesaro goes to the bartender and, genius as he is, orders a glass of H2O.

    Sheamus, one who does not want to look stupid, says he will have a glass of H2O too.

    Sheamus is now dead.
    At my house, we call them "uh-ohs".

  34. #834
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    Irish man walks into an S&M store and asks for a whip...

    ...that is the joke...

  35. #835
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    The Shield

  36. #836
    aka Dixon Cox chrisrandolph1985's Avatar
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    somalia
    The Bella twins are walking through the woods when they come up to a set of tracks.

    I think those are moose tracks, states Nikki.

    No, I believe they are deer tracks, countered Brie.

    No, moose tracks! No, deer tracks!

    They both argued until the train hit them.

  37. #837
    Get These Hands Might As Well Be Donald's Avatar
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    Who is Fonzie's favorite wrestler?

    The Aaaaaayyyy-Train.

  38. #838
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    Years ago, we were fond of this one -

    A ring rat ho comes up the legendary Tony Atlas during his early run, when he was famously relying on his Mr. USA bodybuilding physique -

    Ring Rat Ho - "Oooooh, Tony, how big is your arm? "
    Atlas - "23 inches"
    Ring Rat Ho - "Oooooh my my, Tony, how big is your leg? "
    Atlas - "29 inches"
    Ring Rat Ho - "Oooooh my my oh my, I'd like them wrapped around me! And Tony, how big is your thang?"
    Atlas - "2 inches"
    Ring Rat Ho - spit takes, then coughs "2 inches?"
    Atlas - "...from the floor"

  39. #839
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    What do you call a bug who wears pink and black?

    Gnatalya Neidhart.

  40. #840
    aka Dixon Cox chrisrandolph1985's Avatar
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    somalia
    What's brown and rhymes with snoop?


  41. #841
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    somalia
    I poured spot remover on Moondog Spot and now he's gone.
    At my house, we call them "uh-ohs".

  42. #842
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    somalia
    What's Cesaro's favorite genre of music?

    Swing.
    At my house, we call them "uh-ohs".

  43. #843
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    Why did Rob Van Dam start smoking pot?

    He always wanted to be a high flyer.
    At my house, we call them "uh-ohs".

  44. #844
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    What board game did The Shiek buy his nephew?


  45. #845
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    somalia
    Dean Ambrose was driving down the road when he read a sign that said REST STOP - 25 MILES. He thought that was pretty big.

  46. #846
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    If you create a picture of Braun Strowman with a pencil and paper, you have drawn Strowman.

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    If you grind him into mincemeat and serve him on a roll, you have Lorne Strowman.

  48. #848
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    If you have him shave his beard with one of their razors and they want him to be the spokesperson for their product, you have Braun Strowman.

  49. #849
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    If he has sex with a deer, and that deer gave birth, it would be a fawn Strowman.

  50. #850
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    somalia
    If he was the scarecrow in the Wizard of Oz, he would be called Braun Strawman.

  51. #851
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    If he had a sex change, he'd be Dawn Strowman and Donald's new wife too.

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    Prawn Strowman

    - - - Updated - - -

    Get these claws

  53. #853
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    Braun Zoidberg. He just needs a white coat.

  54. #854
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    somalia
    I heard Owen Hart has bought some real estate in a cemetery. He was just dying to get in there.....


  55. #855
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    To most millennials, Owen Hart was the original cord cutter.


  56. #856
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    somalia
    "Owen Hart: The Man that Gravity Remembered."

    Owen Hart jokes often fall flat.

    Why can't Owen Hart watch TV anymore?
    Cause his cable was disconnected.


  57. #857
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    Owen Hart went down faster than Monica Lewinsky in the oval office.

  58. #858
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    Love you Owen, miss you everyday

  59. #859
    well-dressed jaguar mth's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Badger View Post
    Braun Zoidberg. He just needs a white coat.
    He can borrow it from his twin brother Brains.

  60. #860
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    Quote Originally Posted by mth View Post
    He can borrow it from his twin brother Brains.
    I hope we see more of Brains. Next week the Shield go looking for Braun bfor revengeand find Brains who denies the attack.

  61. #861
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    If his twin was a farmer, he'd be Grains Strowman

  62. #862
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    Eat. Sleep. Prosper.

  63. #863
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    Quote Originally Posted by A Monster Among Posters View Post
    If his twin was a farmer, he'd be Grains Strowman
    Or if a plumber, Drains Strowman.

  64. #864
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    Or if he was a body builder, he'd be Gains Strowman, or errr...Brawn Strowman...

  65. #865
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    I went to the local pawn shop in Town who offered to loan me a few grand if I Pawn Strowman.

  66. #866
    Ironclad Contract RuneEdge's Avatar
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    I heard he got arrested once because the police sketch artist had Drawn Strowman.

  67. #867
    well-dressed jaguar mth's Avatar
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    Landscaping. Lawn Strowman.
    HBK impersonator. Shawn Strowman.
    Cocaine dealer. Braun Blowman.
    He's not here anymore. Gone Strowman.
    But it took him a long time. Gone Slowman.

  68. #868
    Get These Hands Might As Well Be Donald's Avatar
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    My heart is happy!

  69. #869
    aka Dixon Cox chrisrandolph1985's Avatar
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    somalia
    He's a person regarded as having no substance or integrity in an argument.

    He is Braun Strawman
    At my house, we call them "uh-ohs".

  70. #870
    Get These Hands Might As Well Be Donald's Avatar
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    I'm a Braun Strowfan

  71. #871
    aka Dixon Cox chrisrandolph1985's Avatar
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    She married Hitler in a Berkin bunker in 1945.

    Her name was Eva Braun Strowman.

    - - - Updated - - -

    Braun Doughman



    - - - Updated - - -

    At my house, we call them "uh-ohs".

  72. #872
    Legend Badger's Avatar
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    The If he were a crisp plavour,he'd be Braun Cocktail!

  73. #873
    Get These Hands Might As Well Be Donald's Avatar
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    If he forbid his grass to heighten, he'd be Lawn Growban

  74. #874
    Get These Hands Might As Well Be Donald's Avatar
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    If he tried to sell is Pillsbury canister, he'd be Pawn Doughcan

  75. #875
    Legend Badger's Avatar
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    If he were a cereal, he'd be Braun Flakes

  76. #876
    Cruiserweight Champion
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    More like Raisin Braun

  77. #877
    Get These Hands Might As Well Be Donald's Avatar
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    To me, he's Don Braun DeMarco

  78. #878
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    His twin was born 2 minutes before him. Brains before Braun.

  79. #879
    Legend Badger's Avatar
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    If Cedric Alexander's cruiser title reign is the Age of Alexander, if Braun wins the Universal Title then is it the Braunze Age?

  80. #880
    aka Dixon Cox chrisrandolph1985's Avatar
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    somalia
    Quote Originally Posted by Badger View Post
    If Cedric Alexander's cruiser title reign is the Age of Alexander, if Braun wins the Universal Title then is it the Braunze Age?
    That's stupid. It would obviously be the RenaiBraunce.
    At my house, we call them "uh-ohs".

  81. #881
    Meta Head firewall's Avatar
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    What advice did Bray Wyatt give to his blind friend who wanted to feel his way around the kitchen to get to the kettle?



    FOLLOW.... the cupboards.


    *cough*

  82. #882
    Get These Hands Might As Well Be Donald's Avatar
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    Did you guys hear that Braun Strowman opened a jewelry store? The slogan is "Get These Bands!"

    Did you guys hear that Braun Strowman opened a beach? The slogan is "Get These Sands!"

    Did you guys hear that Braun Strowman opened a realtor office? The slogan is "Get These Lands!"

    Did you guys hear that Braun Strowman opened a Harry Potter merchandise store? The slogan is "Get These Wands!"

  83. #883
    BREAK IT DOWN
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    Did you guys hear that Braun Strowman opened a gay bar? The slogan is "Get These Mans!"

  84. #884
    BREAK IT DOWN
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    Why did the chicken cross the road?


  85. #885
    Get These Hands Might As Well Be Donald's Avatar
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    Why was Dave Meltzer trying to finger it?

    Because it was part of a six star match featuring Yoko Hiroshima, a chicken, and Jojisan vs. Godzilla Shin, Nagasaki Sushi, and a dolphin.

  86. #886
    Legend Badger's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by chrisrandolph1985 View Post
    That's stupid. It would obviously be the RenaiBraunce.
    Or ReneeBraunce if she dumps Ambrose and goes to Strowman

  87. #887
    Get These Hands Might As Well Be Donald's Avatar
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    That's the ultimate bad joke. Badger you win the prize.

  88. #888
    Legend Badger's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Might As Well Be Donald View Post
    That's the ultimate bad joke. Badger you win the prize.
    Oh no I've told worse than that.

  89. #889
    well-dressed jaguar mth's Avatar
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    Cactus Jack's new skin-care lotion is ex-Foley-ating.

  90. #890
    Get These Hands Might As Well Be Donald's Avatar
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    Why does the Undertaker use his phone far from home? Because calaway

  91. #891
    Midcarder Dr_Seldon's Avatar
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    What does Lana say after Rusev's been to the bathroom? Rusev, FLUSH!

  92. #892
    Get These Hands Might As Well Be Donald's Avatar
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    Shelton's favorite artist is Bob Marley, because he's Benjammin'

  93. #893
    Cruiserweight Champion
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    Quote Originally Posted by Dr_Seldon View Post
    What does Lana say after Rusev's been to the bathroom? Rusev, FLUSH!
    To which English replies - "It's RUSEV DAY!"

  94. #894
    Legend Badger's Avatar
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    Rusev machcrap!

  95. #895
    Legend Badger's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Might As Well Be Donald View Post
    Why does the Undertaker use his phone far from home? Because calaway
    Because he can't even get 3G?

  96. #896
    Sometimes I disagree Mazer's Avatar
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    All those Strowman jokes were getting tiresome.


    If Braun had read them all, he'd be Yawn Strowman.

  97. #897
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    Quote Originally Posted by Mazer
    All those Strowman jokes were getting tiresome.


    If Braun had read them all, he'd be Yawn Strowman.
    I chuckled.

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