You'll win them back. We are about to lose in NZ because we can't bat or bowl.Originally Posted by Simmo Fortyone
Anderson is past his best, Swann is out for ages and our batting line up is short and brittle.
You'll win them back. We are about to lose in NZ because we can't bat or bowl.
Anderson is past his best, Swann is out for ages and our batting line up is short and brittle.
Cook's a brilliant batsman but doesn't seem to have the necessary chops for captain. I can't believe what I've read this morning about having all 9 fielders on the boundary rope, totally embarrassing.
Sounds like we'll be perfectly matched.
Our selectors seem to have a hard-on for all rounders at the moment. So instead of having five really good batsmen and five really good bowlers we always seem to have two or three of each, and then up to six blokes who are mediocre at both.
I can't take this, bloody nora.
I fucking love Monty.
Matt Prior is untouchable at the minute. Incredible effort to get the draw here.
Superb stuff. This has been a bad end to the winter and Monday was the worst cricket I've seen England play in a while but I'm not going to overreact too much based on this. We were comfortably on the way to winning the last test before two days of rain, and getting KP back will help the batting order. We're still a decent settled side who just won a test series in India, so the complete opposite of the Aussies.
Australia
Christ.
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-asia-21962728
NZ cricketer Jesse Ryder 'beaten up'
New Zealand cricketer Jesse Ryder has been taken to hospital after reportedly being beaten up near a bar in Christchurch.
He is believed to have suffered serious head injuries after the alleged assault and is now in intensive care.
Details of the incident early on Thursday remain sketchy.
The 28-year-old cricketer had been due to fly to Delhi to start his $300,000 (£200,000) contract in the Indian Premier League.
Ryder's friends and fellow cricketers have been sending messages of support via social media.
"The whole NZC team's thoughts are with @DijaRyder this morning," New Zealand cricket tweeted.
Ryder - who has featured in New Zealand's national team - plays his domestic cricket with Wellington.
Just coming to post that, shocking stuff.
A poor start to the summer. It's good to have test cricket back but 222/9 in 111 overs on a slow pitch is pretty depressing. Still, perhaps we can turn this around and still set NZ a decent target by the end.
This is going to be the worst quality Ashes for a long time.
232 pile of poo
Good start from Jimmy though
Fucking ripped them a new arsehole here. 29-6 in about 11 overs.
Jesus that was poor, nice bowling but the Aussies won't be worried about the batting, we need a 50+ run top half batsman asap.
It's OK, we've got KP to come back and score 30 off 12 balls and then get out.
Cook? Trott? I think Root will come good too.
They'll be alright. Batting looked a nightmare on those first few days.
Security footage of the incident
Australia sacking their coach just before the start of the Ashes ..brilliant stuff
We can't laugh, not today.
I can, and I will
Laugh all you fucking want. We are. It's ridiculous. Generally you until after you lose 5-0 two series in a row to sack your coach.
Although if Lehmann was in a few weeks ago, Warner wouldn't have been suspended for two weeks for punching Root. In fact he'd be captain.
So he's a bit of a cock?
He loves a drink.
So... with our daft rotation policy, does this mean Arthur is back in before the Australian summer?
Just me watching the Ashes then?
I am going to go out on a limb and say no
Agar gets his test debut for Australia.
England win toss and bat.
Perfect background entertainment while I do my RFF draft list
I don't have Sky anymore so it looks like I will be wholly reliant on Test Match Special this summer.
England are favourites for the first time I can remember, let's hope they don't get complacent.
Toss won, hopefully we can get a decent score on the board early on.
TMS due to work for now, might as well not have Sky for the amount of live cricket I'll actually get to see.. oh well bring on Saturday.
COME ON ENGLAND
Hope Joe Root gets a good start to avoid any unneccessary extra pressure on him with the Compton non-selection.
Got TMS on my phone and just booked loads of half days this morning to watch as much as I can.
CRICKET!!!!!
Quality stream here if anyone needs one.
http://www.hqsportz.com/index.html
Nice and quiet at work so far today, hope it stays the same. Pattison looks nervous.
This is great, I love test match cricket.
England are doing ok but....Cook just got out while I was typing this...huge wicket for Australia.
Huge wicket indeed.
BANG.
That was in retaliation to your firebomb comment, Si. I told him to do that
I'm going to bomb cricket. Not sure how to bomb an idea yet but I'm working on it, just so you know.
Good job from Root this morning. It is nicely set up for the middle order now.
I don't know fuck shit about the details of cricket, who will be happier with that session? I'm thinking Australia?
England edge the session.
Looks very good for the afternoon. Ball is swinging well but Trott and KP look comfortable and KP dealt with that over from Starc with ease.
What's with root if he bats like that in Australia he is going to have a tough time of it. He can't just sit back like that Jesus. Made a real mess of that ball that got him out
2 wickets and under 100 runs that's pretty even mate
England edge it slightly for me if only because the two batsmen in look comfortable. I expect one if not both to get through the next session wicket intact.
Even at best. I think judging Root from his very first Ashes innings may be a bit early. Oz must feel pretty happy considering their bowling hasn't been fantastic.
Yeah, if anything Australia maybe edge it.
Our bowling line up really is one for the future. Pattinson and Starc especially are very very raw but very talented.
Also to jp:
KP has been pretty scratchy. Pattinson almost had him caught down the leg side and was a mm from bowling him..
That said kp is always pretty dodgy early on so I'm not getting my hopes up until he's out and into the middle order
The clip down leg side which flew under Haddin was a bit heart in mouth but even in his most well crafted innings you always see a few of those with KP. He looks in decent touch for me and I can see a strong partnership coming this afternoon.
We really need to aim for 400 here. Anything less than 350 will be quite shit.
We can't bat though.
Umpires are so idiotic now days
Have some of that JP/KP
Yeah, Australia have edged it.
Ugh.Have some of that JP/KP
Ideally we will get Ronald ASAP
Bloody hell KP.
Cmon Psiddle
Why do England do this? Things were under control and then they go and get out stupidly. Our tail is a bit longer nowadays as well.
Psiddle again
Siddle, what a man.
Ian Bell is shit.
How slow is this wicket.
Psiddle is just too good
Jesus. Big problems now. Would take 280 at this stage.
This is great for the series, to be fair.
This is rubbish
5-0 Whitewash lads
I always think that there's not really any such thing as a bad innings until you see how the other team get on with theirs.
But, this isnt a great one.
Australia still have to score runs, which was always going to be their biggest hurdle.
England started sloppily against both India and New Zealand and turned those series round.
Not even the commentators seem to realise this.
Who is it doing the commentary with Michael Holding. Is it big Bobby K?
We don't bat well but the pitch is pretty terrible. Swann will be a nightmare for Australia
Siddle is an ugly fucking rat faced bastard isn't he. Eminently punchable.
Whatever could you mean
Clarke will want to bowl England out because the over rate is verging on terrible
May as well put the mockers on the lad
Bairstow is getting a ton
Every time Holding says "Bumble" I expect him to go the whole hog and say "Bumbleclart".
Is it just me or did the crowd reaction just then sound like they didn't understand the no ball rule?
Nice piece on the Guardian blog about England being slow-starters:
56th over: England 205-6 (Bairstow 37, Broad 16)
Broad's just had a painkiller after that last over. Somewhere in Yorkshire, Brian Close has just spat out his tea. Meanwhile, Bairstow pokes a poor Starc bumper over point for a beautiful, cut four. He then nearly plays on, so that keeps him thinking.
Pete Waterhouse has a theory which I've not had a minute to check. But it looks convincing. "I've long held a theory that we're rubbish in the first Test of a series - often claiming to be fully prepared but not hitting our straps until later in the series.As such in our Ashes prediction game I've gone Australia for the first test, but England to win 3-1 overall.
"On the back of today's performance I decided to have a look at the stats to see if my theory held water - apologies for any errors as I've pulled this together quickly - but thought I might share the results since (as you may have guessed) they back my theory up.
"I started formulating this opinion during the Ashes series of 2005, so since then:
England results in the
First test of a series - Win 28% Draw 38% Lose 34%
Any other test - Win 48% Draw 28% Lose 24%
We win almost twice as often in non-first Tests!
Against the top teams in this era (India, S.A. and Australia) over the same time scale we've won 1 of the 12 first test matches (the India series where we stuffed them to become world #1 being the exception) - we drew 6 and lost 5. However; We won 8 of those 12 series (I think!)."
All out for sub-230 then?
This meerkat advert is far far far too annoying to be hearing every time England lose a wicket.
Why on earth would you waste a review on that?! Madness.
Must've forgotten that they had technology and was instead hoping that it would go to an old knackered umpire with binoculars.
When Starc gets it right he verges on unplayable. So much raw talent
215 is dogshit. It's a good job there are five tests.
Because it was the last wicket and they hadn't used any, obviously. Was a smart decision.
Ahh, didn't realise it was 2 per bat and bowl innings. Thought it was 2 per complete innings.
You said something similar in the NZ test and it worked out fine
And Finn has got Watson early, great start
AND ANOTHER!
They just can't bat.
TAKE THAT ALF STEWART!
AND DONALD FISHER
That's the issue pretty much.
Ohhhhhh almost got Clarke for the hat trick!
Unbelievable stuff from Finn.
OHHH JIMMY JIMMY
Game over
Chin up, at least you've avoided the follow-on
I love Test Cricket so much.
I've watched a lot of cricket and that's one of the best balls I've ever seen
I go for EnglandChin up, at least you've avoided the follow-on
I love Test Cricket so much.
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