Fiction Fight Semi-Final - mth (as Bugs Bunny) vs Mazer (as Topanga Matthews)

[Badger]

@mth (as Bugs Bunny) vs @Mazer (as Topanga Matthews)

TALE OF THE TAPE]

BUGS BUNNY

Oh shit, first round against ND!

I also will not be able to get anything posted until Tuesday.

And as for my pick:



BUGS BUNNY

Powers/Abilities:
-high intelligence & craftiness
-master of disguise
-master manipulator
-burrowing
-jumping
-skilled in hand-to-hand & armed combat
-extreme durability & resilience
-hammerspace
-fourth wall breaking & reality warping (but if you think those are against the rules, I can nix 'em)

vs

TOPANGA MATTHEWS

Quote Originally Posted by Mazer View Post
Topanga Lawrence

Might edit more in later.

Main Abilities:
Topanga went through law school while pregnant and supporting her husband's teaching career. Graduated top of her class. And she made partner while raising her two kids. Such a shark that her firm basically gives her whatever she wants. They now maintain a spacious apartment in a gentrified area of New York. And she bought a bakery/cafe in her spare time, and pulled her kids friends' mom from career failure to successful bakery/cafe, because of course she did. And still raises her kids, husband, kids' friends, kid down the hall, and whoever else she runs into. What the fuck are you doing with your life?

Never loses. Catchphrase is "I win". Is somehow still a humble person.

Can change any person's life by engaging them in a 2-5 minute life lesson conversation.

Was wiccan as a child. Can still tap into that side whenever she wants. Magic powers

Literal Angel on Earth

BATTLEGROUND

Your battleground will be….



DisneyLand! The er…second happiest place on Earth next to the Chiqtinque Water Park according to Mazer

RULES

- 3 posts each over 7 days which will be timestamped after this post.
- 500 word count maximum per post. If the word count goes over then everything after the 400th word will be cut off.
- Posts must be staggered so whoever goes first must wait til their opponent has responded before they can go again.
- No editing. Once the post is in it is in.
- No rebuttals to each other on the first set of posts. Once everyone has posted first time around then it is fair game to rebut. Don’t mention your opponent (s) in the first set of posts.
- Post links, videos, images gifs etc to your heart's content! These will not count towards the word count.
- Quoting your opponent does not count towards the word count however using words from an outside source/article/reference will count.
- Adding anything extra that is outside the abilities of the"Tale of The Tape" is fine but you must provide a source of it.

Using the DICE OF DEATH. I gave mth numbers 1-3 and Mazer 4-6. I rolled a 1 so mth goes first



That's everything so....

[mth]

The legend, the icon, the Bunny is back for round two.
Back once again with that Bugs behavior.

I feel like I'll be repeating a lot of my first round post since I can't address my opponent but I that's fine 'cuz it does well to spell out why Bugs is going win this round, too.
Bugs has decades and hundreds of cartoons of experience engaging in physical and mental battles against a wide assortment of adversaries in a multitude of situations and environments.
Whether he takes a wrong turn burrowing or someone gets all up in his business, Bugs adapts, learns, outsmarts, manipulates, and most importantly: wins.

I should mention: he also got involved in WWII, facing and besting Japanese soldiers, Hermann Göring, and even Hitler himself.

He's also a US Marine:


He'll utilize the environment, gadgets and contraptions, or don disguises to gain the upperhand and can quickly turn the tables on anyone who dares threaten him, not hesitating to sometimes become a bully and get downright mean.
Let's not forget his cartoon character durability: punches, falls, gunshots, explosions, boulders, anvils...he can take them and spring right back.
When the US Government once had enough of his destructive antics they mobilized the ENTIRE WAR DEPARTMENT to bring him in (important note: he was not even killed, only captured).

And so we find ourselves in DisneyLand.
A giant theme park that is absolute RIPE with advantages for Bugs to succeed.
Perhaps he'll strap his opponent in a ride and crank it 'til the dial breaks off, sending them hurtling to their demise.
Perhaps he'll saw off the top of one of those famous castle spires so it impales his opponent below.
Perhaps he'll dress up as any number of famed Disney characters to fool his opponent into a trap.
Or maybe he won't even have to: an anthropomorphic cartoon rabbit blends in quite easily in an absolute kingdom of anthropomorphic cartoon animals.
Maybe he'll simply disappear until it's time for the killing blow.
Bugs will be deep in his element here, this is not wrong turn at Albequerque, this is a right turn into a treasure trove of props, settings, ideas, and potential situations that will all be death traps for the poor soul who opposes him.
Bugs will THRIVE and Bugs will WIN.
And maybe he'll off the Mouse while he's at it and conquer the Kingdom.

[Mazer]

Topanga Matthews came through once again.


She was somehow able to best the Pride of Polk High and a Supernatural Killing Machine.

She went in as the underdog…. and she handled her business with both of them.

How was she able to accomplish this?

Because Topanga Matthews puts the work in.




You know who she is at this point. She’s the take no prisoners, left her family and fought against their wishes for love, partner in a worldwide law firm. And somehow she’s navigated and dominated in that world, while still fighting for causes she believes and helping those who need it. She helps neighborhood kids. She helps the community. She’s the Five Feet of Fury Alexa Bliss wants to be when she grows up.

Topanga is not a trust fund baby. She fought for and worked her way to everything she has. If she loses her, her family falls.

She can’t lose. She won’t lose.

Topanga is naturally driven. And when you add the motivation to protect her family? The drive to return to her babies? Topanga has already done everything in Topanga has been preparing for this fight before it was ever announced. She’s got plans for the plans.

She’s personally researched every contingency, every weakness, every flaw, that her opponent has. Because Topanga puts the work in. Topanga has had her paralegals pulling info. Her other partners have begun multiple initiatives.


You see, Topanga doesn’t have inherent superpowers. She’s experienced personal tragedy. She’s knows that she needs to put in the work to ensure success.


Before her fight with Al Bundy- the Pride of Polk High, and that Supernatural Killing Michael Myers-Topanga had already made plans. In that case, she knew every character trap that Wonka had built. She knew the weaknesses of each character.


She knew what she needed to do, and she had the brilliance and discipline to execute it. And given that we know her character, and know her traits, it was entirely within her character to do the work needed to make a compelling argument.

Topanga is about to do the same thing here. She knows she’s the underdog. She knows you’re asking yourself “What can a 5-foot Attorney and SuperMom do here”?

Topanga understands her disadvantages. But she’s not scared. Because she knows who she is and her value. Because she knows her opponent. Because she knows he has weakness and she knows they can be exploited.



Because she’s willing to do the work, Bugs is about to get served like a Christmas Pancake

[mth]

I'd like to start off by saying:





I know I said all that stuff about how Bugs could use the environment, props, costumes, etc. to win this but maybe he'll just get right to the fucking point and shoot Topanga?

Here's the thing I want to underline:
Topanga, as smart, determined, strong, and prepared as she may be...is still a regular-ass human woman.
As Maz even said himself, she “doesn't have...superhuman powers.”
She can put in all the work she wants but it won't matter because at the end of the day, she is a nothing more than a flimsy mortal meatsack.
This might be the easiest fight he's ever had as Bugs is used to fighting opposition with his same elastic cartoon durability that requires him to escalate and amp up his offense...but here, Topanga won't even require him to break a sweat. The shit that Bugs regularly does to his adversaries in his various cartoons would absolutely, quite literally, and horrifically MURDER her.





His first move could seal the deal. Topanga's kind heart might see a wayward baby carriage so she'll dash to rescue the poor tot only to discover it's a lit stick of TNT and then To-BANG-a. She dead. Dynamite exploding, anvils dropping, gunshots, hell, even those punches he was trowing in the last round...if she's not immediately killed she will at the very least be maimed and grievously injured.

I'd also like to add that she can research and watch all of Bugs' cartoons to prepare however, the fact is, she does not have experience with anything other than the real world, real people, and real world situations/challenges. Watching a Bugs' cartoon is not the same as essentially being in one. Seeing him on-screen is not the same as seeing him right in front of you. Raising children and being a successful lawyer is not the same as being maliciously and relentlessly pursued and physically and mentally assaulted by a maniacal talking rabbit. She will be psychologically shook right off the bat at the surreal situation and then quickly succumb to the madcap barrage of ruthless antics that follow.

Respect where it's due: Topanga is a hell of a human. But that's all she is and it just won't cut it here.

[Mazer]

Here's the thing I want to underline:
Topanga, as smart, determined, strong, and prepared as she may be...is still a regular-ass human woman.
As Maz even said himself, she “doesn't have...superhuman powers.”

Topanga against a rabbit that defies the laws of physics?


Man, that sounds rough.



And using my own quote against me? Harsh. Well….kinda my own quote. You did remove the word “inherent”. I’d like to add it back in. Because I did include it for a reason.


Mth has claimed an early and easy win for Bugs based on his cartoon abilities and Topanga being only a human. Sadly for Bugs, Topanga has already researched this opponent. And she knows that something weird happens when Bugs engages with “normal” humans. One of the most clear examples of this was from the beloved classic: Space Jam





MJ, as a normal human, should have died in that movie. Instead, he learned that interacting with the Looney Tunes granted him godlike abilities. And he used it to triumph.




So, while Topanga doesn’t have any ‘inherent’ superpowers, she’s already learned that she can harness cartoon physics by the power of belief. Bugs’ advantage is negated by his own existence as a cartoon character, bending the fabric of reality as he does when he interacts with live action.


So shoot the gun, she’ll spit the bullets right back at your wascally ass.

As we’ve established that Topanga has matching invulnerability, Bugs’ penchant for tricks-both employing and falling for them, must be examined.

While Bugs has tricked many, he himself has been tricked by disguises, fake gifts, and robot bunnies.



Bugs has already underrated Topanga here, so his guard is down. When Topanga uses simple carrot bait or some well-positioned decolletage, he’s sure to follow. The bunny will be trapped again.


Beyond Topanga’s opportunities in taking advantage of Bugs, this rabbit has no idea of the peril he’s in.....


Bugs is in Disneyland. And while mth has clearly established that he’s using Bugs entire history for this character, this is Disney 2021.


Bugs is owned by Warner Brothers, which is owned by AT&T. WB owns HBOMax, which just launched a new Bugs series and a new Space Jam. They are attempting to get their DC Universe to rival the MCU. Disney attempted to acquire Warner in 2016, but was unsuccessful, as AT&T was able to acquire the company instead, putting several coveted properties out of reach.


And now Disney has a chance to damage one of its hated rivals. This isn’t the Disney Family Night. This is ruthless corporate Disney.





This park is about to become a deathtrap for Bugs.

Bugs thought he was going to fire a cartoon gun at Topanga, and bugger off to ride a few rides.

Instead, his power advantage is negated. He’s facing a genius who has researched all his shows. She already knows what she can do, and she will exploit it so she can return to her family.

And a more powerful entity is about to erase him.


In other words….Rabbit season is over. And Topanga is making a delicious stew.

[mth]

You neglected to mention that the reason Jordan was able to tap into those godlike cartoon abilities was because he was in The Looney Tunes' universe, Tune Land, at the time and we...
*checks notes*
...are not.
So nope, sorry, no godlike abilities for Topanga.

Also, that was Jordan in Space Jam and this is Topanga in Fiction Fight. It seems like a desperation move, relying on Topanga's need to leech off Bogs' abilities, relying on your opponent/circumstances in the hopes that it would grant her powers she would never otherwise have, powers that are not canonically hers, because you know she'd be absolutely fucked otherwise.
I can only leave it to the judges but I think, much like Jordan's arm in the clip provided, that's a bit of a stretch.

But even so, even if she could become a cartoon, Bugs, has a loooooong history of facing, outsmarting, and defeating other cartoons. It's kind of his whole thing. And so if you want to go this route and make this a cartoon, then you've handed over the ultimate power to him because if he were to realize he's evenly matched, or even outmatched, he can pull out his ultimate trick (like in the boxing cartoon I posted last round): break the fourth wall, snip the film, and still stand tall. Or maybe it'll be a “Duck Amok” situation:



...and Bugs will gleefully torture her into defeat.

You're also relying on the Disney characters to beat him up which is odd because this is DisneyLand and these are cast members, people in costumes, not actual characters, who would, at the sight of a goddamn living cartoon rabbit, be most likely to freak the fuck out, run away, and call security rather than turn into some violent mob rallying against him. Besides, Bugs is a master of disguise and as I mentioned, he could just dress as any number of Disney characters and they wouldn't even know he was there. But again it seems like you're getting desperate that circumstances might benefit Topanga, relying on a corporate rivalry to, for some reason, hopefully manifest itself among likely underpaid folks in bulky, hot-ass costumes. Sorry, I don't think some dude sweating his ass off in a Donald Duck suit, is going to join in the war, he's going to mutter, “I don't get paid enough for this shit...” and head out.

So to win this fight my opponent admits he needs to turn Topanga into a completely different (cartoon) character, give her abilities she does not have, and rely on the entire staff of DisneyLand to do her dirty work for her. I told you she couldn't cut it.

[Mazer]

MTh has dropped his bombshell that Topanga would be powerless based on “toonland”.







In the beginning, mth questioned why Topanga being willing to “put the work in” was relevant.

He’s about to find out.


An average researcher would have stopped at Space Jam. A good lawyer would have seen counters to mth’s Toonland restriction based on the number of times toon effects happened in the real world (the golf ball, the NBA court, etc.). And these would be very valid counterarguments.

A great advocate leaves no stone unturned. And while it would be valid to stay in the pleasant corners of Space Jam, Topanga knew this argument would take her to a dark and forgotten place…...Looney Toons: Back in Action



This oft-forgotten bomb takes entirely in the real world, and has live action characters survive flying car crashes, dynamite, lasers, and de-pantsing….all with cartoon effects. The real-world precedent is undeniable.

Topanga did the work, and Bugs overreliance on cartoon effects is negated before his first shot.




Mth also brings up Bugs’ sterling record….but he has lost. 4 Examples:

• Turtle in a race
• Fudd erased him
• Gremlin on a plane
• Mouse at a concert

https://www.metv.com/lists/4-charact...t-his-own-game

In each case, Bugs was overconfident. And how did mth say Bugs would approach this fight?

By firing a gun immediately. And expecting a quick win. Bugs didn’t have a plan beyond that.



And let’s remember what Bugs did. He fired a damn gun in Disney World.





Mth questioned me bringing cartoon characters into this. I mean, we’ve got Topanga Matthews coming to life and Bugs Bunny in this world. So, it seems fictional characters might be fair game.


And they’re siding with Topanga. Topanga is a Disney IP. She’s got two beloved series on Disney+, and she models female empowerment in the safe Disney way.


Meanwhile, Bugs is a key IP
for their hated rival. And he’s a huge racist. I mean, did you click on mth’s military link? And he's got history of insulting every ethnicity.



No Disney characters want to be questioned about their own past. They are about to lock this bastard in the vault they keep Song of the South in. Also, Topanga’s international law firm has launched an awareness campaign on Bugs’ past. Just to make sure this doesn’t slip by Disney.



But let’s say mth’s right about cartoon characters. Bugs still materialized in the middle of Disney World and fired his (ineffectual) gun. He’s now a threat. Disney has armed security. Now, Disney has real-world justification to eliminate their hated rival.


Either way, Bugs is stew.


In my first post, I acknowledged what Topanga needed to do. She knew this would go to Brendan Fraser before I finished the first response. She knew she needed to rely on knowledge and environment.

She did the work.


Once again, Bugs’ overconfidence is his undoing.


His strategy was wrong, and as a result, Topanga holds the cards.





For the final time....

That’s all folks.

[Badger]

ROUND OVER

To move things along, I’m just going to leave this up to the judges this round. @CWE @Caito and @Psycho666Soldier please PM me your votes.

[Badger]

JUDGES VOTES

JUDGE CWE

Mazer wins.

Entertaining fight. Unfortunately, using a gun in Disneyland is a bad idea. And Mazer capitalized on it in his last post.

1 point to Mazer

JUDGE CAITO

This one was tough. I intentionally didn’t read as the posts were being made, wanted to read the whole debate at once……. But I found myself having to re-read this several times. This easily could’ve been the final fight with how good these two are. Alas, a vote must be cast…..

And my vote goes to mth.

I thought Mazer’s counterpoints were lovely. Most especially, the Looney Tunes : Back In Action….. which I had honestly forgotten was a real thing. The part where Mazer unfortunately loses me is bringing in the corporate structure and potential battle of Disney itself. That part of the argument I thought, while having some merit, wasn’t enough for me. And with Bugs having the advantage in most other areas, I think he takes this.

JUDGE PSYCHO666SOLDIER



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Mazer vs. mth
This was a hell of a debate that you involved some imagination-stretching on both sides. But while some of those arguments seemed a little hard to buy at first, I felt both Mazer and mth did a great job of not only making them believable, but also in having contingencies in case the argument was bunk.

mth was smart to really hammer home how much of a menace and serious threat Bugs is. And when the rebuttals came in, the point blank "I'd shoot her" forced Mazer to show how Topanga could possibly hang on Bugs' level. It almost seemed like he anticipated the Space Jam argument here. The 4th wall universe-destroying stuff seemed a bit cheap, but overall it was still a great way of meeting Mazer in the middle and still showing Bugs would be in the benefit. I also felt like his initial counter to the "Disney hates Bugs" argument was masterful. Not to mention mth's persistence in proving that Bugs could outsmart Topanga in any form.

Meanwhile, Mazer made good on showing that Topanga is actually on Bugs' level. Admittedly, I wasn't convinced by the initial Space Jam argument because I was thinking the same thing mth was. But it would seem this was a well-laid trap by Mazer that forced mth to waste word count, because the Back in Action argument sealed the deal and was even more convincing that Topanga would be capable of incredible things. Capitalizing on Bugs' overconfidence was crucial, and something that made Mazer's argument more palpable.

I think mth took everything Mazer had and served it up to him perfectly, raising the stakes another notch. I also think he did good in showing that Bugs has no limits in vanquishing his opponents.

However, I think mth painting Bugs as a menace that could draw the ire of the entire military force only made Mazer's later point stronger: "Bugs still materialized in the middle of Disney World and fired his (ineffectual) gun. He’s now a threat. Disney has armed security. Now, Disney has real-world justification to eliminate their hated rival." This completely validates Mazer's argument about the help from Disney employees or characters. This is on top of the fact that I don't think Bugs ever truly countered the point about overconfidence. When Mazer brought up the lesser minds that had bested Bugs and the fact he is also easily tricked, it felt like Bugs' overconfidence was actually his complete undoing.

Very close battle and I don't doubt another reply from mth would have given Mazer a run for his money, but Topanga seems to outsmart the wascally wabbit in this caper.[/QUOTE]

@Mazer just wins by a whisker. Very unlucky @mth, fucking close!

[mth]