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Thread: Fiction Fight Round One Tie - mth (Bugs Bunny) vs Nash Diesel (Mike Tyson)

  1. #1
    Videoland Champion Badger's Avatar
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    Fiction Fight Round One Tie - mth (Bugs Bunny) vs Nash Diesel (Mike Tyson)

    @mth (Bugs Bunny) vs @Nash Diesel (Mike Tyson)

    TALE OF THE TAPE

    BUGS BUNNY

    Quote Originally Posted by mth View Post
    Oh shit, first round against ND!

    I also will not be able to get anything posted until Tuesday.

    And as for my pick:



    BUGS BUNNY

    Powers/Abilities:
    -high intelligence & craftiness
    -master of disguise
    -master manipulator
    -burrowing
    -jumping
    -skilled in hand-to-hand & armed combat
    -extreme durability & resilience
    -hammerspace
    -fourth wall breaking & reality warping (but if you think those are against the rules, I can nix 'em)
    vs

    MIKE TYSON

    Quote Originally Posted by Nash Diesel View Post


    Abilities:
    Knockout Power
    High Level Stamina, Striking, and Speed
    No Moral Compass
    Wordsmith
    BATTLEGROUND

    Your battleground for this fight will be...



    WWE HQ Titan Towers. You have otten past security and can fight all anywhere around the building including on the rooftop.

    RULES

    - 3 posts each over 5 days which will be timestamped after this post.
    - 400 word count maximum per post. If the word count goes over then everything after the 400th word will be cut off.
    - Posts must be staggered so whoever goes first must wait til their opponent has responded before they can go again.
    - No editing. Once the post is in it is in.
    - No rebuttals to each other on the first set of posts. Once everyone has posted first time around then it is fair game to rebut. Don’t mention your opponent (s) in the first set of posts.
    - Post links, videos, images gifs etc to your heart's content! These will not count towards the word count.
    - Quoting your opponent does not count towards the word count however using words from an outside source/article/reference will count.
    - Adding anything extra that is outside the abilities of the"Tale of The Tape" is fine but you must provide a source of it.

    Using the DICE OF DEATH. I gave mth numbers 1-3 and Nash 4-6. I have rolled a 6 so Nash Diesel goes first.

    That's everything so....

    Last edited by Badger; August 17th, 2021 at 1:30 PM. Reason: Rule clarification

  2. #2
    What the fucks up Dennys! Nash Diesel's Avatar
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    007 373 5963. To some it’s just 10 random numbers or a possible phone number for James Bond. To most, it’s the pass key that summons the greatest 8-bit warrior known to mankind.




    After a solid showing last year he has been asked to return for one last chance at unifying the Fight Fiction championship with the countless titles he’s taken from the souls of the best fighter’s his realm has to offer.


    Now he’s somewhere he’s never been, but somehow, it feels oddly familiar. Like he was here in another life. He makes his way through the doors and in the lobby he notices a possible relative on a poster near the elevators.


    Interesting.

    After a quick run on the treadmill to get a sweat going on (Thanks Vince), he tightens up the gloves and awaits whoever the gods chose for him to disembowel, pillage, and possibly rape. He’s ecstatic, so hungry he could devour children, or at least a hippo of royal descent.


  3. #3
    [[be gay]][[do crimes]] mth's Avatar
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    Google Bugs Bunny and you will find him atop numerous lists of the greatest cartoon characters ever. You may even find him atop lists of the most powerful cartoon characters ever. I didn't pick Bugs to skirt the rules about god-like characters but honestly, I doubt anyone reading this hasn't seen a fair share of his cartoons, so we all know the truth: Bugs is damn near god-tier.



    A couple common scenarios for Bugs:

    “Wrong Turn at Albuquerque” - Bugs frequently finds himself off course, stumbling into unexpected locations/situations. What is planned to be a relaxing vacation becomes unfamiliar terrain and threatening opposition. However, Bugs quickly and easily adjust and adapts. Sometimes, he's even oblivious to the fact and continues about his business as normal. Sometimes he barely breaks a sweat. Expecting Palm Springs but end up in the Himalayas with the yeti? No problem, doc, Bugs convinces him the duck's the bunny.



    Expecting a quiet night at a hotel but instead in a haunted castle pursued by a vampire? Bugs barely notices as he nonchalantly brushes off the persistent blood-sucker's attempts and even when he grasps the situation he takes charge and turns the tables. Abracadabra.



    “Wascally Wabbit” - Bugs is chilling at home when someone rattles his cage. Bugs ain't one to fuck with. Bugs'll get malicious on your ass, doc, bringing the ever-escalating torment and torture to anyone who he feels has it coming. Bring guns, cannons, traps, dynamite, Bugs'll take it, turn it on you, and out-do you every step of the way. Shoot him in the face, drop a boulder on him, he'll shake it off and be back with something that much worse. He'll exploit your weaknesses like dim-wittedness, cockiness, lust, or greed, wrap you around his finger, and pull your strings like a puppet. He's made Yosemite Sam “cross that line” right off a damn cliff because he knows he can't turn down a challenge. He's gotten Elmer Fudd to fall in love with and marry him. More than once.



    Decades and hundreds of cartoons of experience in a plethora of situations against a vast array of adversaries, Bugs Bunny has seen and done it all and this fight will be no different. WWE HQ only provides him with tools to win: rooms, situations, and items to use and confuse his adversary. Further posts will detail his path to victory.


  4. #4
    What the fucks up Dennys! Nash Diesel's Avatar
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    Kid Dynamite has all the respect in the world for this wabbit. Bugsth Bunny is an icon. But he can be defeated.


    Kid is slick with the gameplan having studied all the film available on his opponent over the last 80 years. The arrogance of this “scwewy wabbit” will be exploited beyond belief and it will be his downfall.


    His idea that wabbits are superior in speed, his limited amount of patience will allow Kid to land those dynamite uppercuts. Easily distracted, easily manipulated and above all else-no known victories in hand to hand combat. God tier? It seems like the memory of Cecil escapes the mind. He’s not as smart as he thinks he is, sometimes taking for granted those that don’t visually look to be on his level.


    The environment leads these two in a situation. Let’s see how Bugsth handles devastating shots to the head and body that send him through the cheap office cubicles. While the bunny is staring at the little blue birds circling his head is when the master of 8 bit bunny beating begins. Quick reactionary time from Kid Dynamite will be a big factor in the battle to come, another element that Bugsth takes for granted when battling previous foes over the years that didn’t turn out so great. Spoiler alert: Not even the spoon technique will save you from Mario’s 10 count if you’re not taking this fight seriously Bugsth.


    Also, he should be careful when using the “4th wall” as a means of communication. Last thing he needs is to say the wrong thing and wind up getting erased by his worst enemy.



    "They say I can't lose, I say you can't win"

  5. #5
    [[be gay]][[do crimes]] mth's Avatar
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    Yes, Bugs was defeated on rare occasion but he's learned from them and this won't be one of them.

    Bugs vs. world champion boxer? I've seen this before. A few minutes of your time, please:



    Bugs has done and won this before.

    Key things:

    Bugs takes multiple punches and gets right up. Even a punch from a fist encased in bricks.
    Things escalate because just punching won't get it done against Bugs. The champ has to go beyond just punching and match wits and tricks with Bugs. The champ has to go to extremes. These are lengths Tyson will not and literally cannot go to because I'd like to underline: this is Tyson specifically from Punch Out!. Tyson has experience boxing against boxers. He does not have experience with the outrageous antics of Bugs. He will be overwhelmed, thrown off his game, and perplexed. On top of that, he is limited to what that iteration is capable of and that is punching and nothing more. Sure, good strong punching but as seen, Bugs takes multiple good strong punches, even a brick-fist, and comes right back. Even when the champ takes it to the extreme at the close of the cartoon, Bugs still comes out on top, going that extra fourth-wall breaking mile. Note Bugs was thrown into that fight without expectation or experience, lasted 110 rounds with the champ, and stood tall at the end because he adapted, strategized, manipulated, and outsmarted his adversary. He'll do the same here but this time WITH expectation and experience. Also, don't neglect those punches Bugs lands on the champ, he's no slouch throwing hands.

    Arrogant, angry, violent adversaries are kind of Bugs' thing. Elmer Fudd, Yosemite Sam, Marvin Martian, etc.. Tyson falls in line. And Tyson falls like all of them. A boxing heavyweight, yes, but an intellectual heavyweight? Not exactly his reputation, is it? Bugs is expert at tricking half-wits. Say that WrestleMania poster gives Tyson ideas. Bugs could disguise himself as Vince and fool the fool into thinking there's a Mania payday on the way but then WHOOP...Bugs pulls the rug out from under him and makes him walk right out a top floor window. Or, as Tyson's a known wrestling fan, Bugs could dupe him into thinking he's meeting Hogan or Flair or maybe his favorite lady wrestler, and poetically ends Kid Dynamite with dynamite.

    More tactics to come...

  6. #6
    What the fucks up Dennys! Nash Diesel's Avatar
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    A great point has been made. Sure, Kid has only fought other boxers-but they aren’t your average boxers now are they Mr. Wabbit?

    Great Tiger with his disappearing act Tiger Punch.

    Super Macho Man, only second behind Kid Dynamite himself

    Damn near impossible to defeat, his Royal Highness King Hippo

    This is the realm Kid Dynamite has sat upon the throne of for what seems to be a lifetime.


    Hey, it’s impressive that Bugsth dabbled in boxing….back in 1948. Look at the competition, look at the skill. Compared to Kid Dynamite, “The Crusher” is about as threatening as Glass Joe. If you think it would take Kid 110 seconds, let alone 110 rounds, you’re about as delusional as when Bugsth puffs the cigar. Which reminds me? Here comes Michael PS Hayes, cigar in hand, another favorite pastime of the wabbit. A quick distraction of the cigar smoke allows KD to throw the deadly uppercuts with malice sending the discombobulated bunny several stories through Titan Towers.


    Bugsth’s frustration will set in, he will get sloppy. Let’s not forget how easily rattled he was by a tiny mouse that disrupted his piano playing. If he can’t handle a little mouse, how he’s going to handle the pressure of delivering a top shelf performance against the likes of Kid Dynamite? Don’t underestimate the intellect of his fighter as you don’t wind up this talented with all the gold by pure luck. He’s already thinking 2-3 steps ahead, the ability to adapt is just as prevalent here as it would be for his opponent against lackluster competition. It’s going to take more than parlor tricks from the 30’s to outsmart and demolish the Kid Dynamite.






  7. #7
    [[be gay]][[do crimes]] mth's Avatar
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    I forgot to address: you mentioned Cecil beating Bugs without mentioning it was via cheating tactics of which Tyson is not capable.



    Thank you for underlining my point that Tyson has only fought boxers. Sure, they're not your average boxers but they're still just throwing punches not dropping anvils, rigging traps, donning disguises, or engaging in the psychological manipulation and gadgetry that Bugs brings to the table.

    You keep going back to Tyson finding ways to land punches because that's all you have and I've clearly shown that even loaded punches from a world champion boxer do not phase him. Against a larger, stronger, veteran opponent, he makes up for brawn with brains, resilience, and determination. It's worth noting he re-faced Crusher, World Champion here, too, in a pro wrestling match which he also won using similar tactics (“Bunny Hugged” 1951). Tactics you are trying your best to downplay because you know combating them is wildly outside of Tyson's wheelhouse. Yes, Tyson can adapt to opponent's boxing strategies but adapt to the zany cartoon antics of a malicious talking rabbit? Not a chance.



    You mention the mouse/piano 'toon. At the start of that, someone coughs and distracts Bugs so...



    ...he motherfucking SHOOTS THE GUY. What's to stop him from just pulling out a gun and blasting Tyson at the word 'go'? Unlike Bugs, Tyson's never shown to be able to take a bullet and he's bringing fists to a gun fight (or anvil/dynamite/crossbow/etc. Fight, none of which he's been shown to take, either).

    So, you mentioned possible sexual assault in your first post, something of which Tyson was convicted (and scrubbed from the Punch Out! franchise, no less!). He has admitted to his voracious sexual appetite in interviews and his autobiography. Now, Bugs is an absolute QUEEN OF DRAG...







    ...and as mentioned, has repeatedly gotten his opposition to fall for him, even to the point of marriage. So he dons the guise of a female WWE superstar at HQ and Tyson won't be thinking with his fists, he'll be thinking with his dick. He'll be putty in Bugs' hand and when he's too deep in the ruse, it'll be too late.

    Yes, he's only had one boxing match but he's been outwitting and winning against a horde of aggressive adversaries for longer than Tyson's been a live, let alone fighting.

    “What's up, doc?” Not Tyson 'cuz he's going down.


  8. #8
    Videoland Champion Badger's Avatar
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    ROUND OVER!

    Voting starts now. How this will work is there’ll be a public vote by the readers where votes are posted in this thread. Total score worth one point. Participants if they want do have the option to vote in other people’s ties if they wish. Anyone else not taking part but wants to vote are eligible too.

    Judge votes worth one point each. @Caito @Morrison and @CWE please PM your votes to me.

    Votes must be accompanied by an explanation. Remember to vote for who argued better, not the side you just agree with.

    I’ll leave voting over the weekend until Monday. If the judges unanimously agree then will just end the vote there and then as that would be the majority. Otherwise if they’re split then it will carry on until Monday.

    If there’s a tie between the reader and judge votes then I’ll vote and break the tie.

  9. #9
    Once upon a time... kdestiny's Avatar
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    usa
    Mth

    I just couldn't get past the fact that Bugs showed how he is capable of winning beyond just boxing. I didn't feel that it was countered well enough despite throwing out possible distractions, I feel that mth countered them well and was still able to stay on the attack in the process.

  10. #10
    Let’s Go Brandon! Hero!'s Avatar
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    Mth

    Nash was on a good path with showing that Tyson is the more capable boxer, but he never convinced me that Tyson could actually out maneuver Bugs, who fights pretty much everyone. I didn’t really get mth’s point with the sexual assault/drag stuff, so I almost stayed with Tyson, but reading through it again, I feel like Nash never answered for Bugs’ actual cunning and slipperiness besides stating the Tyson has beat a few decent boxers. The part about Bugs and the mouse was fucking excellent and I think Nash should have played more into Bugs’ weaknesses, rather than Tyson’s strengths. I dunno, tough one, but I give (barely) to mth.

    I think if this debate had one more argument from each I’d be able to form a more decisive opinion. Great job guys, this one shoulda gone 1 more round.

  11. #11
    Videoland Champion Badger's Avatar
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    RESULTS

    PUBLIC VOTE

    mth takes this 2-0 so 1 point to him

    JUDGES VOTES

    JUDGE CWE



    Quote Originally Posted by CWE
    Let's break it down by round...

    Round 1

    Tyson gets a hype package while Bugs gets a highlight montage. Seems to set up a brains vs braun fight. And in a fight, braun wins.

    Tyson 1-0

    Round 2

    Tyson goes in boxing. Right where he wants it. Bugs counter the boxing with defense (past brick laced punch) and takes the fight mental.

    Tied 1-1

    Round 3

    Tyson ignores mental aspect and leans into the boxing fight. So bugs brings in the antics. And by antics...I mean a gun.

    Bugs 2-1

    Vote mth

    Murder bunny>boxer
    1 point to mth

    JUDGE CAITO



    Quote Originally Posted by Caito
    My vote has to go with mth.


    I wanted to vote Tyson when this started, however, with only one exception, the basis of the argument just basically screamed, “Mike’s gonna lynch Bugs”. Which, yes, it is Tyson, so that’s what he does. However, I felt mth was able to counter a bit better and with more actions described as counters, I felt it was a better overall argument.
    JUDGE MORRISON



    Quote Originally Posted by Morrison
    mth

    after every nash post, i wanted to vote him, but mth always had counters, and i think going second helped him, in that regard. like hero said, i think nash focused too heavily on touting tyson's strengths instead of attacking bugs' weaknesses or trying to verbally eliminate the effectiveness of bugs' strategies or gameplan. mth did a good job bringing up and trapping tyson into the punch out world, leaving tyson and therefore nash at the mercy of 8-bit programming from the 80's, so in the end mth/bugs had a way bigger toolbox to pull from, which ultimately let him overwhelm any of nash's advances.
    Final point to mth.

    @mth advances to the next round 4-0.

  12. #12
    Temet Nosce Caito's Avatar
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    I wrote lynch? I meant punch, in case that wasn’t clear. Sorry bout that.

  13. #13
    Videoland Champion Badger's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Caito View Post
    I wrote lynch? I meant punch, in case that wasn’t clear. Sorry bout that.
    Too much Mafia?

  14. #14
    Temet Nosce Caito's Avatar
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    Probably just from typing too fast on my phone. Was taking a break from setting up a wedding when I sent in my judgement.

  15. #15
    [[be gay]][[do crimes]] mth's Avatar
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    to @Nash Diesel for a hell of a fight.


  16. #16
    What the fucks up Dennys! Nash Diesel's Avatar
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    @mth


  17. #17
    Videoland Champion Badger's Avatar
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    Wrong thread.

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