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Thread: Crappy Wrestling Jokes Version 3

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    Crappy Wrestling Jokes Version 3

    I’d initially asked for the old version 2 thread to be brought out the archives since some people (including a couple of mods were posting in it). Ehh but thought rather than ask them to drag the old thread out the archives, let’s start afresh and make Version three-uhhhh!!!! I’ll start with this really crappy Austin joke I posted in the old thread:

    “I heard Austin was actually born Catholic but decided not to go Catholic growing up. He told the Pope personally when he decided:

    “Austin 3:16 says I just missed your Mass!”

    @Nash Donald go nuts, I know you got some!

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    Growing up, what did D'Von Dudley tell Bubba Ray when they were working at the Dudleyville McDonalds together?


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    Quote Originally Posted by Jarrod1983 View Post
    Growing up, what did D'Von Dudley tell Bubba Ray when they were working at the Dudleyville McDonalds together?

    They also broke down in the road one time and D-Von was not sure how to start it.


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    Jimmy Uso and Jeff Hardy are in the same car. Who will drive?


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    Quote Originally Posted by Jarrod1983 View Post
    Jimmy Uso and Jeff Hardy are in the same car. Who will drive?

    Ahgasasfafagssdahhgh!!!

    You must spread some reputation around before giving it to Jarrod1983 again.

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    I should technically disqualify that joke for not being crappy lol.

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    Michelle was upset her husband talked on his phone so close to her. She said " Mark, call away"

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    Andre the Giant was so hungry he ordered Entrée the Giant.

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    Dustin Runnels was covering his team's net as a youth. The ball hit the beam and particles came off it, landing on Dustin's head. The origins of Goal dust.

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    What did Hulk Hogan used to say to Darren Drozdov before an American Football game?


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    Quote Originally Posted by Badger View Post
    What did Hulk Hogan used to say to Darren Drozdov before an American Football game?

    Would've thought he would've said "Darren, all these black players makes me uncomfortable, I'm going home"

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    Why did the Ultimate Warrior get fired from Petco?


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    What is Hulk Hogan going to say to Mr Galloway before his Wrestlemania title match?



    Why should Sean Morley still have a role in WWE today?


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    A pirate finds a treasure map belonging to Shawn Michaels and Triple H. What's the pirate's favorite part of the map?



    What was Owen Hart's favorite movie?



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    What do you get if you play a McMahon’s music to a former WWF president?


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    How many members of the IWC does it take to screw in a light bulb?


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    Quote Originally Posted by Jarrod1983 View Post
    How many members of the IWC does it take to screw in a light bulb?

    Alternative punchline to that:


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    Why couldn't Hulk Hogan sleep in the 1980's?


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    What do you call Goldberg without the talent?


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    Quote Originally Posted by Jarrod1983 View Post
    What do you call Goldberg without the talent?

    @LOCONUT

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    Quote Originally Posted by Caito View Post
    Ha, not the first dig or the last I'll take at Billy boy. I'm sure you can insert the Bret Hart hate at any moment now.

    You want to hear another wrestling joke?


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    What's the difference between Goldberg and sex?


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    Oh I just want him to be a part of it.

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    Which wrestler loves going downhill in the snow?

    Snitski

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    What did Tazz say when Brock Lesnar's jet was landing?


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    What did Kevin Nash say when he crashed his ATV?


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    What do you get when you cross CM Punk and Scott Hall?

    CM Drunk

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    What was Owen Harts favorite movie?


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    What's Owen Hart's favorite song?

    Tom Petty - Free Fallin'

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    Quote Originally Posted by LOCONUT View Post
    What was Owen Harts favorite movie?

    Already did this one!

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    Stephanie McMahon, Vince Russo and Bill Goldberg were all out on Steph's yacht when it started to sink. Who gets saved?



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    How can Lumis use both hands?


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    Quote Originally Posted by ProblematicRoss View Post
    How can Lumis use both hands?

    That's the funniest fucking thing I've read this year.

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    #Istillgotit

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    Back in the early days of his career, Strowman jobbed to Heenan in a dark match. One fan was heard to be saying:




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    Did you hear about that band from Boston that lied, cheated, and stole?


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    Mark Henry wanted to raise a family at one point so Mae Young decided to lend a hand.

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    What did Stone Cold's chemistry call him?

    Steve GoldSulfurTin

  50. #50
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    Quote Originally Posted by Donald;[URL="tel:8228568"
    8228568[/URL]]What did Stone Cold's chemistry call him?

    Steve GoldSulfurTin

    Though technically...
    Steve GoldSulphurTitaniumNitrogen

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    What do you get if you cross Ravishing Rick, Gangrel, Edge and Christian?


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    Even crappier written down than spoken:

    Dwayne Johnson gets shot in the woods by a hunter and hung up on the wall


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    Quote Originally Posted by ProblematicRoss View Post
    What do you get if you cross Ravishing Rick, Gangrel, Edge and Christian?

    Certainly a Rude Brood?

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    Quote Originally Posted by Donald View Post
    Certainly a Rude Brood?
    Or Brood Love if you swap out Rick for Foley.

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    If they posed for playboy you'd have the nude Brood

  56. #56
    gay the pray away mth's Avatar
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    If Diesel and HBK both led goth vampire stables in the 90s you could've had Two Broods with Attitudes.

    ...and if you put some extra naked people in those stables, you'd have Two Broods with Added Nudes...

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    What do you get when you cross Kevin Nash with Bobby Heenan?


  58. #58
    gay the pray away mth's Avatar
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    I heard Sasha Banks is going into dentistry to become the Legit Floss.

    Also heard The Tortured Artist is going into the window cleaning business with a sponsorship deal as WinDex-ter Lumis.

  59. #59
    Sometimes I disagree Mazer's Avatar
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    What do you call the premiere athlete today?


    Tony Release

  60. #60
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    Despite begging on his Tony Knees.

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    Tony’s pleas?

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    If the Berzerker led a stable, what would they be called?


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    What do you call a disease that's insane?




    Tony Nese's son drive's a Nissan.

    Yokotuna

    Tuna Vachon!

    Maria Metunas!

    Jim Ross - "Boomer Tuna!"
    Last edited by Donald; July 1st, 2021 at 9:37 AM.

  64. #64
    Former Videoland Champion Badger's Avatar
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    Knox Knox!
    Who’s there?
    Tegan!
    Tegan who?
    Last edited by Badger; July 7th, 2021 at 8:18 PM.

  65. #65
    gay the pray away mth's Avatar
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    *Tegan Nox

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    Former Videoland Champion Badger's Avatar
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    Spoilsport

  67. #67
    Sometimes I disagree Mazer's Avatar
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    Who did Tegan play on Breaking Bad?

    The one who Nox

  68. #68
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    I hear Mike and Tegan are getting married because they found happiness and she wouldn’t have to change her name….much
    Last edited by Badger; July 7th, 2021 at 8:41 PM.

  69. #69
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    Plus they are going to live in Fort…


  70. #70
    Sometimes I disagree Mazer's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Badger View Post
    I hear Mike and Tegan are getting married because they found happiness and she wouldn’t have to change her name.
    No way. She's harder to get into than Fort Nox

  71. #71
    Former Videoland Champion Badger's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Mazer View Post
    No way. She's harder to get into than Fort Nox
    It’s a Hard Nox Life

  72. #72
    Former Videoland Champion Badger's Avatar
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    For us

  73. #73
    Sometimes I disagree Mazer's Avatar
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    Don't Nox it until you try it

  74. #74
    Once upon a time... kdestiny's Avatar
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    usa

  75. #75
    Former Videoland Champion Badger's Avatar
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    Tegan wanted to get married in Noxville but Mike disagreed so we’ll have to Tennessee

  76. #76
    gay the pray away mth's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Badger View Post
    Spoilsport
    If you want a second chance, you can try it Tegan...

  77. #77
    Former Videoland Champion Badger's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by mth View Post
    If you want a second chance, you can try it Tegan...
    Nox sure if it’s worth it.

  78. #78
    Sometimes I disagree Mazer's Avatar
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    Nox it off

  79. #79
    What the fucks up Dennys! Nash Diesel's Avatar
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  80. #80
    🪝HOOK GANG🪝 Bert's Avatar
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    Wrong thread again. You want the future hall of famers thread.

  81. #81
    Sometimes I disagree Mazer's Avatar
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    What do you call Mankind when he has the flu?

    Sick Foley



    Cactus Jack when he's being a jerk?

    Dick Foley

  82. #82
    Former Videoland Champion Badger's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Mazer View Post
    What do you call Mankind when he has the flu?

    Sick Foley


    Cactus Jack when he's being a jerk?

    Dick Foley
    What do you call Dude Love dancing with his groovy chicks?

    Slick Foley

  83. #83
    Former Videoland Champion Badger's Avatar
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    What do you call him being a magician at a kids party?

    Trick Foley

    What do you call him in working in construction?

    Brick Foley

  84. #84
    gay the pray away mth's Avatar
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    What do you have when your shrubbery looks like Mankind/Cactus Jack/Dude Love?

    Mick Foliage

  85. #85
    Sometimes I disagree Mazer's Avatar
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    What do you call Cactus Jack offering someone a light?

    Bic Foley


    What do you get when you cross Mankind and Hillbilly Jim?

    Hick Foley

  86. #86
    World Champion Dave Wyndorf's Avatar
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    What do you get when you cross mick foley and gangrel


    Brood love


    Nude Love athf

  87. #87
    Former Videoland Champion Badger's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by mth View Post
    What do you have when your shrubbery looks like Mankind/Cactus Jack/Dude Love?

    Mick Foliage
    You must spread foliage before giving it to mth again

  88. #88
    Former Videoland Champion Badger's Avatar
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    If he was a superhero in a blue suit and had Arthur as his sidekick?

    Tick Foley

  89. #89
    World Champion Dave Wyndorf's Avatar
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    What did Dean Ambrose say when his wife was sent to the gallows?

    Rene hung!

    What did Dean Ambrose say when his wife was attacked by a bee?

    Rene stung!

    What did Dean Ambrose say when his wife went down on him?

    Rene tongue!

    What did Dean Ambrose say when his wife got in the shower?

    Rene sung!

  90. #90
    Former Videoland Champion Badger's Avatar
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    Who’s be a great return that tickles the fancy?

    Rene Dupree

  91. #91
    gay the pray away mth's Avatar
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    Following the success of Travis Scott and BTS, the Hardcore Legend will also get his own fast food deal and have his name on his own burger: the McFoley.

    Little known fact: at KOTR '98 during his infamous bumps, Mick Foley not only sustained serious injury, he also ripped some nasty farts. Foley said he was not only wincing from pain but also from a Hell Of A Smell. Undertaker was quoted as saying, "I'll never forget the Smell In A Cell." Additional Fun Fact: Undertaker wanted to keep his hair out of his face so he used some Gel In A Cell.

    Not sure if anyone heard about the scrapped plans for Sheamus to have Jack Gallagher's gimmick and be managed by Carmella as a chicketshit heel? Yep, he was going to be 'Mella's Yella Umbrella Fella.

    GOODNIGHT EVERYBODY.

  92. #92
    Former Videoland Champion Badger's Avatar
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    Gulak and McIntyre were late returning books to the library. What did the librarian say?



    They were also unable to withdraw money from the bank machine so they went into the bank. What did the teller say?


  93. #93
    gay the pray away mth's Avatar
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    Cactus Jack has a lot of plant-life in his yard. You might call it Foleyage.

  94. #94
    Former Videoland Champion Badger's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by mth View Post
    Cactus Jack has a lot of plant-life in his yard. You might call it Foleyage.
    That’s been done. Are you trying to needle us with that recycled joke?

  95. #95
    Former Videoland Champion Badger's Avatar
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    Sorry mth that was a bit prickly of me.

  96. #96
    World Champion Dave Wyndorf's Avatar
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    Dude Love has a lot of plant-life in his yard. You might call it Foleyage.

  97. #97
    gay the pray away mth's Avatar
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    Ah nutballs. I was even the one who did it. I'm a disgrace to mankind.

  98. #98
    gay the pray away mth's Avatar
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    If I was good at this, you'd be all like, "Dude, love the puns!"

  99. #99
    World Champion Dave Wyndorf's Avatar
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    Mankind has a lot of plant-life in his yard. You might call it Foleyage.

  100. #100
    Former Videoland Champion Badger's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by mth View Post
    If I was good at this, you'd be all like, "Dude, love the puns!"
    You are excellent because Dude Love pun is harder and you smashed it x

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