Terrible Wrestling Jokes Version 3

**Badger** · April 8th, 2021, 5:26 PM

I’d initially asked for the old version 2 thread to be brought out the archives since some people (including a couple of mods were posting in it). Ehh but thought rather than ask them to drag the old thread out the archives, let’s start afresh and make Version three-uhhhh!!!! I’ll start with this really crappy Austin joke I posted in the old thread:

“I heard Austin was actually born Catholic but decided not to go Catholic growing up. He told the Pope personally when he decided:

“Austin 3:16 says I just missed your Mass!”

@Nash Donald go nuts, I know you got some!

**Jarrod1983** · April 8th, 2021, 7:02 PM

Growing up, what did D'Von Dudley tell Bubba Ray when they were working at the Dudleyville McDonalds together?

**Badger** · April 8th, 2021, 7:23 PM

Originally Posted by Jarrod1983

Growing up, what did D'Von Dudley tell Bubba Ray when they were working at the Dudleyville McDonalds together?

They also broke down in the road one time and D-Von was not sure how to start it.

**Badger** · April 8th, 2021, 7:29 PM

Thank God @Tempest isn’t around anymore.

**Donald** · April 8th, 2021, 7:35 PM

They used to call me MSK, "me so korny"

**Jarrod1983** · April 8th, 2021, 8:57 PM

Jimmy Uso and Jeff Hardy are in the same car. Who will drive?

**Badger** · April 8th, 2021, 8:58 PM

Originally Posted by Jarrod1983

Jimmy Uso and Jeff Hardy are in the same car. Who will drive?

Ahgasasfafagssdahhgh!!!

You must spread some reputation around before giving it to Jarrod1983 again.

**Badger** · April 8th, 2021, 9:03 PM

I should technically disqualify that joke for not being crappy lol.

**Donald** · April 8th, 2021, 10:12 PM

I tried throwing John Cena overboard but was unsuccessful. He said "you can't sea me"

**Donald** · April 8th, 2021, 10:16 PM

Michelle was upset her husband talked on his phone so close to her. She said " Mark, call away"

**Donald** · April 8th, 2021, 10:17 PM

Elijah should be the one teaming up with Bad Bunny. They could call themselves Burke & Hare.

**Donald** · April 8th, 2021, 10:20 PM

If Enzo's buddy got a really bad spray tan, would they call him Big Orange Cassidy.

**Jarrod1983** · April 8th, 2021, 10:24 PM

What did a young Hulk Hogan used to ask other kids in Art class?

**Donald** · April 8th, 2021, 10:27 PM

Andre the Giant was so hungry he ordered Entrée the Giant.

**Donald** · April 8th, 2021, 10:32 PM

Dustin Runnels was covering his team's net as a youth. The ball hit the beam and particles came off it, landing on Dustin's head. The origins of Goal dust.

**Badger** · April 8th, 2021, 10:34 PM

What did Hulk Hogan used to say to Darren Drozdov before an American Football game?

**Donald** · April 8th, 2021, 10:36 PM

Mr. Santana was walking through some flowers: Tito, through the tulips...

**Donald** · April 8th, 2021, 10:37 PM

Originally Posted by Badger

What did Hulk Hogan used to say to Darren Drozdov before an American Football game?

Would've thought he would've said "Darren, all these black players makes me uncomfortable, I'm going home"

**Badger** · April 8th, 2021, 10:43 PM

What would you get if Jeff or Matt Hardy did a signature move in a pirate costume?

**Jarrod1983** · April 8th, 2021, 10:48 PM

Why did the Ultimate Warrior get fired from Petco?

**Badger** · April 8th, 2021, 10:52 PM

What is Hulk Hogan going to say to Mr Galloway before his Wrestlemania title match?

Why should Sean Morley still have a role in WWE today?

**Jarrod1983** · April 8th, 2021, 10:59 PM

A pirate finds a treasure map belonging to Shawn Michaels and Triple H. What's the pirate's favorite part of the map?

What was Owen Hart's favorite movie?

What does Shane McMahon say every Easter?

**Badger** · April 8th, 2021, 11:07 PM

What do you get if you play a McMahon’s music to a former WWF president?

**Jarrod1983** · April 8th, 2021, 11:17 PM

How many members of the IWC does it take to screw in a light bulb?

**Badger** · April 8th, 2021, 11:25 PM

Originally Posted by Jarrod1983

How many members of the IWC does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Alternative punchline to that:

**Jarrod1983** · April 8th, 2021, 11:30 PM

Why couldn't Hulk Hogan sleep in the 1980's?

**Jarrod1983** · April 8th, 2021, 11:32 PM

What do you call Goldberg without the talent?

**Caito** · April 9th, 2021, 6:44 AM

Originally Posted by Jarrod1983

What do you call Goldberg without the talent?

@LOCONUT

**Jarrod1983** · April 9th, 2021, 7:02 AM

Originally Posted by Caito

@LOCONUT

Ha, not the first dig or the last I'll take at Billy boy. I'm sure you can insert the Bret Hart hate at any moment now.

You want to hear another wrestling joke?

**Jarrod1983** · April 9th, 2021, 7:07 AM

What's the difference between Goldberg and sex?

**Caito** · April 9th, 2021, 7:20 AM

Oh I just want him to be a part of it.

**Donald** · April 9th, 2021, 7:32 AM

Which wrestler loves going downhill in the snow?

Snitski

**Jarrod1983** · April 9th, 2021, 8:06 AM

What did Tazz say when Brock Lesnar's jet was landing?

**Jarrod1983** · April 9th, 2021, 9:28 AM

What did Kevin Nash say when he crashed his ATV?

**Donald** · April 9th, 2021, 10:20 AM

What do you get when you cross CM Punk and Scott Hall?

CM Drunk

**Jarrod1983** · April 9th, 2021, 10:27 AM

Why does Mick Foley buy supermarket brand cola?

**LOCONUT** · April 9th, 2021, 11:00 AM

What was Owen Harts favorite movie?

**Donald** · April 9th, 2021, 11:19 AM

What's Owen Hart's favorite song?

Tom Petty - Free Fallin'

**Jarrod1983** · April 9th, 2021, 11:39 AM

Originally Posted by LOCONUT

What was Owen Harts favorite movie?

Already did this one!

**Jarrod1983** · April 9th, 2021, 11:40 AM

Stephanie McMahon, Vince Russo and Bill Goldberg were all out on Steph's yacht when it started to sink. Who gets saved?

**Jarrod1983** · April 9th, 2021, 3:18 PM

Why did Rikishi become a Chinese food chef?

**mth** · May 1st, 2021, 7:49 PM

**Badger** · May 1st, 2021, 7:54 PM

How can Lumis use both hands?

**Donald** · May 1st, 2021, 8:21 PM

Originally Posted by ProblematicRoss

How can Lumis use both hands?

That's the funniest fucking thing I've read this year.

**Badger** · May 1st, 2021, 9:06 PM

#Istillgotit

**Badger** · May 1st, 2021, 9:55 PM

Back in the early days of his career, Strowman jobbed to Heenan in a dark match. One fan was heard to be saying:

**Donald** · May 1st, 2021, 10:23 PM

Did you hear about that band from Boston that lied, cheated, and stole?

**Badger** · May 1st, 2021, 10:28 PM

Mark Henry wanted to raise a family at one point so Mae Young decided to lend a hand.

**Donald** · May 1st, 2021, 11:03 PM

What did Stone Cold's chemistry call him?

Steve GoldSulfurTin

**Dreyski** · May 2nd, 2021, 9:02 AM

Originally Posted by Donald;[URL="tel:8228568"

8228568[/URL]]What did Stone Cold's chemistry call him?

Steve GoldSulfurTin

Though technically...
Steve GoldSulphurTitaniumNitrogen

**Badger** · May 8th, 2021, 7:08 AM

What do you get if you cross Ravishing Rick, Gangrel, Edge and Christian?

**Badger** · May 8th, 2021, 7:21 AM

Even crappier written down than spoken:

Dwayne Johnson gets shot in the woods by a hunter and hung up on the wall

**Donald** · May 8th, 2021, 12:01 PM

Originally Posted by ProblematicRoss

What do you get if you cross Ravishing Rick, Gangrel, Edge and Christian?

Certainly a Rude Brood?

**Badger** · May 8th, 2021, 1:55 PM

Originally Posted by Donald

Certainly a Rude Brood?

Or Brood Love if you swap out Rick for Foley.

**Donald** · May 8th, 2021, 2:28 PM

If they posed for playboy you'd have the nude Brood

**mth** · May 8th, 2021, 7:09 PM

If Diesel and HBK both led goth vampire stables in the 90s you could've had Two Broods with Attitudes.

...and if you put some extra naked people in those stables, you'd have Two Broods with Added Nudes...

**Donald** · May 24th, 2021, 3:46 PM

What do you get when you cross Kevin Nash with Bobby Heenan?

**mth** · May 24th, 2021, 8:30 PM

I heard Sasha Banks is going into dentistry to become the Legit Floss.

Also heard The Tortured Artist is going into the window cleaning business with a sponsorship deal as WinDex-ter Lumis.

**Mazer** · June 25th, 2021, 4:04 PM

What do you call the premiere athlete today?

Tony Release

**Badger** · June 25th, 2021, 5:14 PM

Despite begging on his Tony Knees.

**Mazer** · June 25th, 2021, 8:46 PM

Tony’s pleas?

**Badger** · June 26th, 2021, 9:04 PM

If the Berzerker led a stable, what would they be called?

**Donald** · July 1st, 2021, 9:34 AM

What do you call a disease that's insane?

Tony Nese's son drive's a Nissan.

Yokotuna

Tuna Vachon!

Maria Metunas!

Jim Ross - "Boomer Tuna!"

**Badger** · July 7th, 2021, 8:08 PM

Knox Knox!
Who’s there?
Tegan!
Tegan who?

**mth** · July 7th, 2021, 8:17 PM

*Tegan Nox

**Badger** · July 7th, 2021, 8:19 PM

Spoilsport

**Mazer** · July 7th, 2021, 8:26 PM

Who did Tegan play on Breaking Bad?

The one who Nox

**Badger** · July 7th, 2021, 8:29 PM

I hear Mike and Tegan are getting married because they found happiness and she wouldn’t have to change her name….much

**Badger** · July 7th, 2021, 8:38 PM

Plus they are going to live in Fort…

**Mazer** · July 7th, 2021, 8:39 PM

Originally Posted by Badger

I hear Mike and Tegan are getting married because they found happiness and she wouldn’t have to change her name.

No way. She's harder to get into than Fort Nox

**Badger** · July 7th, 2021, 8:40 PM

Originally Posted by Mazer

No way. She's harder to get into than Fort Nox

It’s a Hard Nox Life

**Badger** · July 7th, 2021, 8:43 PM

For us

**Mazer** · July 7th, 2021, 8:44 PM

Don't Nox it until you try it

**Kdestiny** · July 7th, 2021, 8:47 PM

**Badger** · July 7th, 2021, 8:50 PM

Tegan wanted to get married in Noxville but Mike disagreed so we’ll have to Tennessee

**mth** · July 7th, 2021, 9:00 PM

Originally Posted by Badger

Spoilsport

If you want a second chance, you can try it Tegan...

**Badger** · July 7th, 2021, 9:08 PM

Originally Posted by mth

If you want a second chance, you can try it Tegan...

Nox sure if it’s worth it.

**Mazer** · July 7th, 2021, 9:37 PM

Nox it off

**Nash Diesel** · July 7th, 2021, 10:00 PM

**Bert** · July 8th, 2021, 1:24 AM

Wrong thread again. You want the future hall of famers thread.

**Mazer** · July 10th, 2021, 9:01 PM

What do you call Mankind when he has the flu?

Sick Foley

Cactus Jack when he's being a jerk?

Dick Foley

**Badger** · July 10th, 2021, 10:54 PM

Originally Posted by Mazer

What do you call Mankind when he has the flu?

Sick Foley

Cactus Jack when he's being a jerk?

Dick Foley

What do you call Dude Love dancing with his groovy chicks?

Slick Foley

**Badger** · July 10th, 2021, 11:00 PM

What do you call him being a magician at a kids party?

Trick Foley

What do you call him in working in construction?

Brick Foley

**mth** · July 10th, 2021, 11:02 PM

What do you have when your shrubbery looks like Mankind/Cactus Jack/Dude Love?

Mick Foliage

**Mazer** · July 10th, 2021, 11:05 PM

What do you call Cactus Jack offering someone a light?

Bic Foley

What do you get when you cross Mankind and Hillbilly Jim?

Hick Foley

**Donald** · July 10th, 2021, 11:05 PM

What do you get when you cross mick foley and gangrel

Brood love

Nude Love athf

**Badger** · July 10th, 2021, 11:05 PM

Originally Posted by mth

What do you have when your shrubbery looks like Mankind/Cactus Jack/Dude Love?

Mick Foliage

You must spread foliage before giving it to mth again

**Badger** · July 10th, 2021, 11:14 PM

If he was a superhero in a blue suit and had Arthur as his sidekick?

Tick Foley

**Donald** · July 10th, 2021, 11:15 PM

What did Dean Ambrose say when his wife was sent to the gallows?

Rene hung!

What did Dean Ambrose say when his wife was attacked by a bee?

Rene stung!

What did Dean Ambrose say when his wife went down on him?

Rene tongue!

What did Dean Ambrose say when his wife got in the shower?

Rene sung!

**Badger** · July 10th, 2021, 11:22 PM

Who’s be a great return that tickles the fancy?

Rene Dupree

**mth** · July 11th, 2021, 10:50 AM

Following the success of Travis Scott and BTS, the Hardcore Legend will also get his own fast food deal and have his name on his own burger: the McFoley.

Little known fact: at KOTR '98 during his infamous bumps, Mick Foley not only sustained serious injury, he also ripped some nasty farts. Foley said he was not only wincing from pain but also from a Hell Of A Smell. Undertaker was quoted as saying, "I'll never forget the Smell In A Cell." Additional Fun Fact: Undertaker wanted to keep his hair out of his face so he used some Gel In A Cell.

Not sure if anyone heard about the scrapped plans for Sheamus to have Jack Gallagher's gimmick and be managed by Carmella as a chicketshit heel? Yep, he was going to be 'Mella's Yella Umbrella Fella.

GOODNIGHT EVERYBODY.

**Badger** · August 19th, 2021, 7:53 PM

Gulak and McIntyre were late returning books to the library. What did the librarian say?

They were also unable to withdraw money from the bank machine so they went into the bank. What did the teller say?

**mth** · August 19th, 2021, 8:57 PM

Cactus Jack has a lot of plant-life in his yard. You might call it Foleyage.

**Badger** · August 19th, 2021, 9:55 PM

Originally Posted by mth

Cactus Jack has a lot of plant-life in his yard. You might call it Foleyage.

That’s been done. Are you trying to needle us with that recycled joke?

**Badger** · August 19th, 2021, 10:14 PM

Sorry mth that was a bit prickly of me.

**Donald** · August 19th, 2021, 11:20 PM

Dude Love has a lot of plant-life in his yard. You might call it Foleyage.

**mth** · August 19th, 2021, 11:56 PM

Ah nutballs. I was even the one who did it. I'm a disgrace to mankind.

**mth** · August 20th, 2021, 11:12 AM

If I was good at this, you'd be all like, "Dude, love the puns!"

**Donald** · August 20th, 2021, 12:55 PM

Mankind has a lot of plant-life in his yard. You might call it Foleyage.

**Badger** · August 20th, 2021, 4:59 PM

Originally Posted by mth

If I was good at this, you'd be all like, "Dude, love the puns!"

You are excellent because Dude Love pun is harder and you smashed it x

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