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Thread: Crappy Wrestling Jokes Version 3

  1. #601
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    Can’t see anything Donald.

  2. #602
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    That's because it's John Cena.

  3. #603
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    John Seenothing

  4. #604
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    When John Cena saw Chris Benoit last week, John Seen a ghost!

  5. #605
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    What’s Cent’s favourite game now? Five Knuckle Shuffleboard.

  6. #606
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    What did John Cena say when a certain Mario character made its first 3D appearance in the Nintendo 64 game?

    “The Chomp is here!”

  7. #607
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    usa
    JskakdjdjdkKKkakaksksks

  8. #608
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    Du k u9u man

  9. #609
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    Hauuuauuuuuu

  10. #610
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    I hate lpljaxxxkkskdkkdkdkdkdkdkdkddkkd

  11. #611
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    Bobby Heenan: “I don’t concur but I’m gonna agree with Donald!”

  12. #612
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    Dancing in the punchbowl at the company Christmas party, Donald?

    Speaking of Christmas, which WWE superstar brings all the kids presents at Christmas?

    Santa Escobar

  13. #613
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    If Mark Henry and Ron Simmons formed a tag team, they’d be the World’s Strongest Damn!

  14. #614
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    Quote Originally Posted by mth View Post
    Dancing in the punchbowl at the company Christmas party, Donald?

  15. #615
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    If you turn the letters in EC3 right one time, you get Mnw, Monday Night Wars. EC3 is the reason for the Monday Night Wars. Mystery solved.

  16. #616
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    Well yeah, if you rotated the E and the 3, it would spell WCW. It was right there all along. You'll note that they never said what it stood for during his WWE run. BECAUSE THEY KNEW.

  17. #617
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    I'm beginning to think he caused ECW too!

  18. #618
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    Did you hear about the NXT superstar who has really nice poops? Indi Shartwell

  19. #619
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    No, but I did hear about the NXT wrestler who was a really good personal shopper.

    Indi Cartwell

  20. #620
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    She'd be good to use at the shop: Indi Martwell

  21. #621
    ungodly mth's Avatar
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    She's not good at stopping but shes good at getting going...Indi Startwell.

  22. #622
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    I hear Gangrel is in negotiations with Roman for a stable merger. The Broodline.

    Also at one point he was after Rick so he could be Ravishing Rick Brood.

    If they added him to the main event and put him in the poster of that October 1997 PPV, it would have been In Your House Bad Brood featuring Gangrel in a Cell.

  23. #623
    ungodly mth's Avatar
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    If the NXT Women's Champion is sitting on a pile of stones, it's rocks and Perez.

  24. #624
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    Maybe bring in Jon Moxley to be the new sex symbol and manage Mandy’s stable now that she’s gone. Moxic Attraction.

  25. #625
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    How does Jericho hang up his washing? On a clothesline with winnipegs.

  26. #626
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    What does Chris Jericho do at a manic depressive themed circus?

    Lion shamer.

  27. #627
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    Chris Jericho was fighting Scar over Saba’s custody.

    Lion Claimer

  28. #628
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    Of course, this time of year he's Christmas Jericho.

    Keeping with the theme...

    Which WWE superstar leads Santa's slay? Rudolph Ziggler

    Frosty the Braun Snowman or Frosty the Snowman Reigns?

    I've heard of gingerbread but Sheamus is a Ginger-head Man.

  29. #629
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    Sorry, but I think it’s more accurate to say ChrisMas(ters) is this years holiday cheer master

  30. #630
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    So saw a story about Brock’s son maybe getting into the wrestling business.

    When trying to get the right-sized footwear for him, took him to Shoeplex City.

  31. #631
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    @Donald sending the bat signal…because this thread needs input and we all miss you in general xx

  32. #632
    ungodly mth's Avatar
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    If his kid gets Brock's old haircut, he can go to Crew(cut)-plex City.

    If Brock botches one of his throws, I feel Suplex Pity.

    If Brock makes up a little song about his throws, it's a Suplex Diddy.

  33. #633
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    If Brock threw a cat about, it’d be suplex kitty

    (Melly sorry)

    Change a real cat for Ernest the Cat Miller or Tiger Ali Singh. Preferably the latter who was shit
    Last edited by Badger; December 25th, 2022 at 8:43 PM.

  34. #634
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    In Sable’s case..Suplex Pussy. If he needs a refresher in between rounds he hits F5

  35. #635
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    If Curt Hennig ever got to his finisher on a cat/Ernest/Tiger it would be the Purrfect-Plex.

  36. #636
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    Might’ve turned this into Catty Wrestling Jokes by this point….

    (making up for lack of Don here)

  37. #637
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    I'm speculating on if Stone Cold might have another match and putting together the pieces for who it might be...I call it my "Austin Theory".

  38. #638
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    Quote Originally Posted by mth View Post
    I'm speculating on if Stone Cold might have another match and putting together the pieces for who it might be...I call it my "Austin Theory".
    Is that the way to go about that.? I’d be stunned if he agreed.

  39. #639
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    I saw a big, burly Australian wrestler at a urinal yesterday. Bronson Peed.

  40. #640
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    Quote Originally Posted by mth View Post
    I'm speculating on if Stone Cold might have another match and putting together the pieces for who it might be...I call it my "Austin Theory".
    I’ve been thinking about where they’re going to hold the next ECW One Night Stand, that’s MY Austin, Theory.

  41. #641
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    How is Vince McMahon going to break the bad news to buyers that have underbid?

    “No Chance! No Chance In Sale!”

  42. #642
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  43. #643
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    Prison Dom does not own a stove, an oven or a microwave because revenge is a dish best served cold.

    Prison Dom does not sleep. He waits.

  44. #644
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    Did you notice that Sammi had some ketchup on his shirt?

    New Gimmick: Sammi Stain

  45. #645
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    Meanwhile, the US Champion is going to start a new gimmick as an investigative reporter.

    Austin Query

  46. #646
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    Why did Sami sit at the rear of the train?

    Because he was feeling caboosey

  47. #647
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    While on the train, he ordered a healthy beverage.

    He was feeling juicy

  48. #648
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    If he married Sunny, she'd be Tammy Zayn.

  49. #649
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    He is thinking about moving to Canada because he’s feeling moosey.

  50. #650
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    Or Canadian goosey

  51. #651
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    Sammi had a romantic entanglement with Xena, Warrior Princess

    He was feeling Lucy

  52. #652
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    I heard he reads Green Eggs & Ham once a day

    He's always feeling Seussy

  53. #653
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    Xavier Woods decided to get friendly with Paige once where he was feeling pussy.

  54. #654
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    If he married a No Country for Old Men star, he'd be Xavier Bardem. Or I suppose the star would be Javier Woods

  55. #655
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    If Dustin Runnells was in it, it would have been titled No Country For Gold Men

  56. #656
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    How about a mixed tag between Kairi and Sami teaming up against The Big Red Machine and Madison...

    Sane & Zayn vs. Kane & Rayne

  57. #657
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    People claim Rey Mysterdid not show up to the rumble match. That is because John Cena came out instead. You just couldn't see him

  58. #658
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    When sending out the checks, his boss says "Pay Mysterio!" When he's traveling with someone who's driving, the driver will ask "Which way, Mysterio?" His doctor asks "How much do you weigh, Mysterio?"

    At the cafeteria, when he was done eating, his lunch partner said "Clean up your tray, Mysterio"

    Uncle Howdy asked him, "Where's Bray, Mysterio?"

  59. #659
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    Mysterio: “Nowadays everybody wanna talk like they got something to say
    But nothing comes out and they move their lips and it’s a bunch of gibberish
    And motherfuckers act like they forgot about….damn now I forgot who!”
    Audience: “Dre Mysterio!”

  60. #660
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    What did the pirate say when Mia Yim punched him in the face?



    (credit to Johnny Gargano)

  61. #661
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    Wish Saraya was still in WWE, then we could get Paige Against the Michin.

  62. #662
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    Close the thread, Donald has won.

  63. #663
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    Quote Originally Posted by Donald View Post
    Wish Saraya was still in WWE, then we could get Paige Against the Michin.
    Right now we are watching a master, at the full peak of his powers.

    Babe Ruth-1923
    Ted Williams-1941
    Jim Brown-1963
    Michael Jordan-1991
    Tom Brady-2007
    Donald-2023

    Someday, I'm going to tell my kids that I saw it live.

  64. #664
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    If Mia Yim borrowed Kane’s mask then she’d be the Big Red Michin

  65. #665
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    Listen, i know this isn't really a joke and won't make anyone laugh but...

    Cage Match on Rampage
    Diamond Dallas Page & Adam Page & Ethan Page & Saraya (fka Paige) vs. Christian Cage & Brian Cage vs. Wes Lee & Keith Lee & Dragon Lee & Kimber Lee & AJ Lee & Xia Li (w/ Tennessee Lee)
    Last edited by mth; February 2nd, 2023 at 1:44 PM.

  66. #666
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    AJ Lee must be too busy to attend.

  67. #667
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    I knew someone was missing...I'll edit her in...she could also start her own team with AJ Styles and AJ Kirsch...

  68. #668
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    After his recent conversion, Jay Reso became over-controlling in his proselyting.

    He was putting people in a Christian Cage.

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    Hulk Hogan walks into a bar, the bartender says "Why the long face, brother!?"

    Ultimate Warrior runs into a bar, the bartender says "Sorry, we don't serve cocaine here"

    Jake The Snake walks into a bar, the bartender says "Oh it's going to be a profitable night."

    CM Punk walks into a bar, and the bartender says "Please, no bitching and moaning"

    Rick Rude walks into a bar, the bartender says "Nice abs!"
    Last edited by Donald; February 20th, 2023 at 2:01 PM.

  70. #670
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    What did John Cena say when he saw Hulk Hogan? "Rulk Hules"

  71. #671
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    What did John Cena say when he saw Hulk Hogan?  "Rulk Hules"

    Penta El Zero Mied shoul wrestle with a Golga mask on and be known as Tenta El Zero Mied

  72. #672
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    JBL walked into the Bar. He didn't say "excuse me" after the collision, so Cesaro and Sheamus were offended.

  73. #673
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    What did Vickie Guerrero say after she burped?
    "Excuse me!"

  74. #674
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    How did Paul Bearer know when the Undertaker was sick? Because he was coffin.

  75. #675
    ungodly mth's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Donald View Post
    What did John Cena say when he saw Hulk Hogan? "Rulk Hules"

    Penta El Zero Mied shoul wrestle with a Golga mask on and be known as Tenta El Zero Mied
    Sometimes Hideo Itami puts on a mask to fill in for him as KENTA El Zero Miedo.

  76. #676
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    Omg glorious!

  77. #677
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    Bobby Roode laughed a lot at that. It was UPROARIUS.

  78. #678
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    Shawn Michaels signed up to be a guest contestant on RuPaul's Drag Race, but he didn't know what to do. Another contestant, giving words of advice, said "I got two words for ya. Tuck It!"

    Shawn Michaels was rumored to take over the Red Rooster role from Terry Taylor, but he didn't know what to do. Vince, giving words of advice, said "I got two words for ya, Cluck It!"

    Shaw Michaels was rumored to tag with Billy, instead of Palumbo, but he didn't know what to do. Vince, giving words of advice, said "I got two words for ya, Chuck It!"

    Shawn Michaels was such a fan of Mark Twin, that he signed up to play a character in the movie. He wanted to play Tom Sawyer, but that role was taken by Triple H. Shawn Michaels didn't know what to do. Triple H, giving words of advice, said "I got two words for ya, Huck It!"

    Shawn Michaels had a rubber duck, but he didn't know what to do with it. Booker T, givign words of advice, said "I got two words for ya, Shuck It"

    Adam Rose, secretly trained by Shawn Michaels, had a move called the Shot Lariat. He thought it needed something more, so he asked Shawn Michaels. Shawn Michaels, giving words of advice, said "I got two words for ya, Buck It!"


    This is some of my best work, I think.
    Last edited by Donald; February 28th, 2023 at 6:21 PM.

  79. #679
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    Shawn Michaels' wife wanted him to watch her having sex with HHH. Shawn wasn't sure what to do, so he asked HHH, who said "I've got two words for you - Cuck it!"

  80. #680
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    Ripley was terrified of Triple H, because Triple H was in the bathroom a long time. When she knocked on the door to ask him if he was ok, he replied "Die-uh! Rhea!"

  81. #681
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    Beavis and Butthead were on the verge of scoring with Ripley but when they got to the bedroom they ended up pissing and shitting all over her. She was disgusted and asked why that happened. They said:


  82. #682
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    Quote Originally Posted by Donald View Post
    Shawn Michaels signed up to be a guest contestant on RuPaul's Drag Race, but he didn't know what to do. Another contestant, giving words of advice, said "I got two words for ya. Tuck It!"

    Shawn Michaels was rumored to take over the Red Rooster role from Terry Taylor, but he didn't know what to do. Vince, giving words of advice, said "I got two words for ya, Cluck It!"

    Shaw Michaels was rumored to tag with Billy, instead of Palumbo, but he didn't know what to do. Vince, giving words of advice, said "I got two words for ya, Chuck It!"

    Shawn Michaels was such a fan of Mark Twin, that he signed up to play a character in the movie. He wanted to play Tom Sawyer, but that role was taken by Triple H. Shawn Michaels didn't know what to do. Triple H, giving words of advice, said "I got two words for ya, Huck It!"

    Shawn Michaels had a rubber duck, but he didn't know what to do with it. Booker T, givign words of advice, said "I got two words for ya, Shuck It"

    Adam Rose, secretly trained by Shawn Michaels, had a move called the Shot Lariat. He thought it needed something more, so he asked Shawn Michaels. Shawn Michaels, giving words of advice, said "I got two words for ya, Buck It!"


    This is some of my best work, I think.
    Good stuff indeed.

    Look at you, Yuckin it up

    It's like HBK had two words for ya.

  83. #683
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    HBK was going to try to make a joke in this thread but couldn't think of a good one so he had two words for it..."Fuck it..."

  84. #684
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    I invited HBK to play our favorite winter sport. He had two words for me.

    Puck it.

  85. #685
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    Whenever Shawn threw a clothesline but called for his opponent to avoid it “I got two words for ya….duck it!”

    When Shawn hired a stable boy to clean out the stables…”I got two words for ya….muck it!”

    When HHH took some Pritt Stick to glue some hair over Shaun’s bald spot, before Shawn could speak, HHH beat him to the punch and said “I got two words for ya….stuck it!”

  86. #686
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    When Shawn Michaels was in the bedroom with his wife, he pulled down his pants and said "I got two words for ya, pluck it!"

  87. #687
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    HBK was making corn on the cob, and Road Dogg wanted to help.

    HBK had two words for him: Shuck it.

  88. #688
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    I was going to do that one but I thought someone already did...

  89. #689
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    You could try using luck?

  90. #690
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    Quote Originally Posted by mth View Post
    I was going to do that one but I thought someone already did...
    Booker T and corn. Completely different concepts.

  91. #691
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    Damn just realised Donald already did “buck it!”

  92. #692
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    Shawn’s music teacher in school asked him what instrument he could play.

    HBK: “I got two words for yaaaa….trump it!”
    Teacher: “But trumpet is one word!”
    HBK: “Ahhhh fuck it!”

  93. #693
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    The Legend Killer read this thread while drinking chocolate milk.

    One strong pun made him Randy Snortin'



    On Laundry Day, the Legend Killer is Randy Sortin'


    When the Legend Killer doesn't leave enough money in the teller, he's Randy Shortin'

  94. #694
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    Before she left, I heard she asked to change her name to Mandy Pose but it didn’t go down well.

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    Jon was hanging out with Keith, when Tony Kahn walked in. Jon asked Tony, "How should I fight Keith?" Tony said "Jon, box Lee"

    Then when Keith said no, what does Jon do? Jon mocks Lee.

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    Did you hear about the music scene from Seattle that got it's own radio station? Bubba the Love Grunge

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    Did you hear about the guy that turned to stone after looking at Liv? Apparently she's Liv Gorgon. Turning to stone is a just a Liv Forgone conclusion there.

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    She was hanging out with Shannon, and he wanted a firearm, so she told the arms dealer "Give Moore gun"

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    The artist formerly known as Dean Ambrose is going to star in a movie reboot. Mox, Mox and Two Smoking Barrels.

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    The artist formerly knowns as Tensai is going to star in a movie reboot. A-Trainspotting

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