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Thread: Crappy Wrestling Jokes Version 3

  1. #501
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    The guy who was going to be the Ultimate Warrior before Jim Hellwig, is now known as the Penultimate Warrior.

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    The ultimate warrior became a born again Christian and wish to be referred to as jim heavenwig

  3. #503
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    If Jim Hellwig bleeds in a match, it's Ultimate Gorier.

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    When Jim Hellwig did his taxes, he was the Ultimate Worrier.

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    What did the WWE do to become less filthy?

    Rinse McMahon.

  6. #506
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    When Jim Hellwig needed a loan he was the Ultimate Borrower.

  7. #507
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    I heard Phil brooks is gonna try nfl next, CM Gronk

  8. #508
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    The former WWE CEO once went to the catering at a Scotland house show and asked for some tatties but wanted something else to go with them. He then asked them for recommendations.

    “Mince McMahon!”

  9. #509
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    When did Raw start getting better?

    Since McMahon

  10. #510
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    Triple H pointed at his patella, and looked at his wife and said "Steph, a knee!"

  11. #511
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    Heard Ted Dibiase bought 999,999 shirts then bought another one on top it off.

    He now goes by the name Million Collar Man.

  12. #512
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    I heard Bayley is taking over a famous delivery company and it will be called e-Bayley

    Beth Phoenix is also doing this with another famous delivery company and it will be called Glamazon. Glamazon Prime will get it to you by next day.

  13. #513
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    Quote Originally Posted by Badger View Post
    Heard Ted Dibiase bought 999,999 shirts then bought another one on top it off.

    He now goes by the name Million Collar Man.
    Sadly, the shirts were so itchy, he yelled in disgust each time he wore one.

    He was a real Million Holler Man.

  14. #514
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    Quote Originally Posted by Mazer View Post

    He was a real Million Holler Man.
    So was Scott Steiner after Dibiase paid him a dollar for every time Scott said holler and he heard him.

    Scott and Dibiase tag team = Million Dollar Holler Incorporated

  15. #515
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    Sho Funaki and Taka Michinoku were ahead of their time. If they could time travel they could've teamed with Dakota as Kaientai.

  16. #516
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    ...but Dakota was already teaming with Dude Love in that alternate timeline as Kai 'n' TIe-Dye.
    (This made Funaki and TAKA very sad...Cry-entai, you might say...)
    Last edited by mth; October 4th, 2022 at 12:07 AM.

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    I just bought a straight edge bed, I call it CM Bunk.

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    You don't want to share a bed with Cora Jade, because she's known as Snora Jade

  19. #519
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    Do you know where to go if you want some Tetley or Lipton beverages? The T-Bar

  20. #520
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    Torrie Wilson's ex husband jokes a lot, Silly Kidman.

  21. #521
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    Quote Originally Posted by Dave Wyndorf View Post
    You don't want to share a bed with Cora Jade, because she's known as Snora Jade
    But you do want to go out to dinner with her. I did, and didn't have to take my wallet. Cora Paid.

  22. #522
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    And then, I left, but Cora Stayed.

  23. #523
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    If you slept with her, you got Cora Laid.

  24. #524
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    After sleeping together, we went to church the next day and Cora Prayed.

  25. #525
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    If Gangrel’s and Reigns’s stables had collaborated, you’d have the BroodLine.

    If Ravishing Rick had joined Gangre’s stable you’d have Ravishing Rick Brood. His finisher would be the Brood Awakening.

  26. #526
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    What is Damien Priest's, Finn Balor's, Rhea Ripley's, and Dominick Mysterio's favorite WWE PPV?

    Judgment Day

  27. #527
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    If Charles Wright had joined Gangrel’s stable, he’d be the Broodfather.

  28. #528
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    Which NXT is a secret Harry Potter fan? Albus Dumblefire

  29. #529
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    Which NXT star is a secret Harry Potter fan? Albus Dumblefyre

  30. #530
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    When the fans uncover Ultimate Warriors secret they start chanting Jim Hellbald

  31. #531
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    Butch was so happy, having a good time. Pete Funne!

  32. #532
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    I heard Brawling Brutes are gonna start carrying around 2X4's, and one of them will change their name to "Hacksaw" Ridge Holland.

    Was that a good movie? Hacksaw Ridge? Never seed it.

  33. #533
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    The Brawling Brutes will need to do something to seem relevant now that Sheamus is on the shelf.

  34. #534
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    I heard Matt Riddle conducts himself with dignity in the workplace, a real Brofessional.

  35. #535
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    Quote Originally Posted by 3puppies View Post
    The Brawling Brutes will need to do something to seem relevant now that Sheamus is on the shelf.
    Not sure I get this joke.

  36. #536
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    Quote Originally Posted by Donald View Post
    Not sure I get this joke.
    Because I am an idiot, and posted in the wrong thread.

    I will try to make up for it by posting one of the oldest crappiest wrestling jokes I can remember.

    Two silkworms got into a wrestling match. It ended in a tie.

  37. #537
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    Fans are sometimes unsure of which talent are able to draw. Well Dexter Lumis can!

  38. #538
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    More like Dexter Drew-mis (or in the case of his current feud, Dexter Drew Miz).

  39. #539
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    I hear he’ll be looking to start his own clothing line. Fruit of the Lumis.

  40. #540
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    I heard Triple H pitched a new character to Johnny Wrestling, he wants him to act more like Rhyno, so his name is being changed to Johnny Goregano.

    When he's in the kitchen he's Johnny Oregano.

  41. #541
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    Quote Originally Posted by Badger
    Fans are sometimes unsure of which talent are able to draw. Well Dexter Lumis can!
    *Snorts*

  42. #542
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    Heard Ron Killings might become a dentist...R-Tooth.

  43. #543
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    I heard he was also considering being a detective. R-Sleuth.

  44. #544
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    When he goes to a restaurant, he'd prefer to sit in an R-Booth.

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    If he and the British Bulldog were a team, he’d be R-Woof.

  46. #546
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    if he traveled back in time to kill Abraham Lincoln, he'd be R. John Wilkes Booth

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    If he was a baby, he'd be R-Ruth

  48. #548
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    If he violated proper British rules of social decorum, he'd be R-Uncouth

  49. #549
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    If he was a pirate, he'd be AARRRRrr-Truth.

  50. #550
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    If he was out there, like the X-Files, he'd be Far-Truth

  51. #551
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    If someone did a parody of him, they'd be R-Spoof.

  52. #552
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    As a child he drank nestles K kwik

  53. #553
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    Every time Razor won a match but just barely, it was said to be a close shave.

  54. #554
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    What’s Strowman’s favourite dinosaur?

    A Brauntosaurus

  55. #555
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    Which NXT superstar is the best at passing gas?

    Indi Fartwell

  56. #556
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    I was about to post a Lumis being good with two hands/ambidexterous joke then remembered I used that one last year. So instead will say he has great dexterity in using his hands. Yeah that’s fresh.

    What does Windham Rotunda say to his pet donkey Wyatt to get him to speak?

    Bray Wyatt!

  57. #557
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    If he got another donkey, he’d probably call it Brayore.

  58. #558
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    I heard The Tortured Artist glows in the dark...Dexter Luminous.

  59. #559
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    BREAKING NEWS:WWE RECENTLY FILED A TRADEMARK ON TLC,WHICH FEATURES MERCHANDISE AND STUFF,DAY 1 HAS BEEN CANCELLED AND AFTER SURVIVOR SERIES THERE WILL BE NO PPV.SO WWE COULD GO WITH TLC THIS YEAR��❤��

  60. #560
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    Roman Reigns has beat everyone in wwe. So hhh is now going with the youtube community to find opponents

  61. #561
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    Those are some of the best crappy jokes I've seen so far.

  62. #562
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    Awwwwwww baby caaaaalves!!!!
    Donít let milk go soooour!
    Crap so you fertilise tomato plants!!
    Then eeeeat the floooowers!!!!Ö

    Itís a Moo Day yes it is!

  63. #563
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    Paul Heyman has this to say watching Theory run to the ring.

    That is not a Theory, it's a spoiler.

  64. #564
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    I heard if The Rock appears at the biggest PLE of the year, it's going to be called WrestleDwayne-ia.

  65. #565
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    When I'm done eating an apple, I throw the rest of it in the garbage, and leave it in the middle of nowhere, it's a barren core bin.

  66. #566
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    When Baron stubs his toe, he's Swearin' Corbin.

  67. #567
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    When Baron watched Morbius, he was Baron Morbin'.

  68. #568
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    RVD, Riddle, Evan Bourne and Jeff Hardy are going to star in a new film based on a classic children’s novel.

    Weed in the Willows.

  69. #569
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    Rousey had a great crappy wrestling joke after Shayna choked out Shotzi on SD.

    “Clean up on aisle green!”

    First time she made me laugh!

  70. #570
    F this & JC that mth's Avatar
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    Have you heard about the giant surrealist painter?
    The Great DalŪ

  71. #571
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    Quote Originally Posted by mth View Post
    Have you heard about the giant surrealist painter?
    The Great DalŪ
    No but heard he was gonna sell cheese, ham and other cold cut meats.

    The Great Deli.

  72. #572
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    I heard Mustafa's trying to grow to 7 feet tall so he can be The Great Ali.

  73. #573
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    If they did a crossover with them along with a popular court drama…The Great Ali McBeal.

  74. #574
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    If you had to give something to Ali, you Must Offer Ali...

  75. #575
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    Quote Originally Posted by mth View Post
    If you had to give something to Ali, you Must Offer Ali...
    If I had a drink in my hand right now, this would not only be spat out but all over the carpet!

  76. #576
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    If he was the worst wrestler, he'd be Most Awful Ali.

  77. #577
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    @Donald have you taken over mth’s account?

  78. #578
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    What happens when you cross Booker T and Sting gimmicks?

    GI Crow

  79. #579
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    Quote Originally Posted by Badger View Post
    @Donald have you taken over mth’s account?
    No

  80. #580
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    Good.

    Mark Henry was recently interviewing two rival jockeys in a horse race but soon put a stop to it:

    “Looks like there’s been enough talk. It’s TIME for the MANE EVENT!”

  81. #581
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    If Mark Henry was a horse, he’d be the World’s Strongest Mane.

    If Mick Foley was a horse, he’d be Mick Foaley.

    R-Truth would be R-Hoof.

  82. #582
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    If Mark Henry was a sea animal, he'd be the World's Strongest Clam

    If Lillian Garcia was a sea animal, she'd be a sea horse. (Did you like that one, Triple H?)

  83. #583
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    Mick Foley as a horse could also be Manekind.

    If Mark Henry were a pork product or a bad actor, he’d be the World’s Strongest Ham.

  84. #584
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    If Mark Henry had joined La Familia, he would have been the World's Strongest Bam Neely.

  85. #585
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    Mar Henry is going to start infomercials, the World's Strongest Sham Wow!

  86. #586
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    My mum just asked me “where do you want to sit for dinner”

    “Roman Reigns” I told her

    “What does that mean” she asked

    “at the head of the table” I replied ☝

  87. #587
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    If he was more boring he’d be Blandy Orton.

    If it was his favourite drink he’d be Brandy Orton.

    It he liked sweets he’d be Candy Orton.

    If he had a favourite comic he’d be Dandy Orton.

    If he was a believer in peace, he’d be Gandhi Orton.

    If he could fix things around the house he’d be Handy Orton.

    If he was a pilot and could land a plane good he’d be Landy Orton.

    If Mandy Rose was his wife she’d be Mandy Orton.

    If he likes chicken he’d be Nando’s Orton.

    If he owned a panda they’d be called Pandy Orton.

    If we take out the u, he’d be Qandy Orton.

    If he likes the beach he’d be Sandy Orton.

    If he liked Indian food, he’d be Tandoori Orton.

    If you could create him in Street Fighter, he’d be Zangief Orton.

    If him and Woods had a love child, they’d be Xandy Orton.
    Last edited by Badger; November 24th, 2022 at 12:39 AM.

  88. #588
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    Gandhi was in Schindlers list?

  89. #589
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    Quote Originally Posted by Donald View Post
    Gandhi was in Schindlers list?
    I don’t know what you mean. Nothing to do with a list actor who played Gandhi in another film but kinda worded it wrong of course.
    Last edited by Badger; November 24th, 2022 at 12:44 AM.

  90. #590
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    Jerry "the Ben Kingsley" Lawler?

  91. #591
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    If he went to law school he’d be Jerry Lawyer.

    If Balor wanted to do a porn film with him he’d be Fuckleberry Finn.

  92. #592
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    Tomorrow, the judgment day will have a Damien Feast

  93. #593
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    I typed that joke up at 11:59

  94. #594
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    Quote Originally Posted by Donald View Post
    Tomorrow, the judgment day will have a Damien Feast
    I heard that Damien was going to start a band called Judas Priest and was thinking of sampling a song but wasn’t sure if that was breaking the law.

  95. #595
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    Phineas Godwin wasn't sure which of the 3 E's to light up, but Henry Godwin helped him by telling him to turn the mid E on.

  96. #596
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    If Chad gable married brock lesnar, he'd be Chad sable

  97. #597
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    Quote Originally Posted by Donald View Post
    Phineas Godwin wasn't sure which of the 3 E's to light up, but Henry Godwin helped him by telling him to turn the mid E on.
    When he saw Phineas naked, that turned the Big E on.

  98. #598
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    If Big E were to star in Disney-Pixar-WWE collab, it would be called Big WALL-E.

  99. #599
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    @mth Martin Wright tried to worm his way out of his current gimmick but was unsuccessful.

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