It was a cold and windy night, my friends. The wind was angry, like an old man trying to return his soup at a deli.
The ill wind didn't just blow in a chill. It blew in Chicago's annual convention of "Fiscally Minded Administrators who Understand the Value of a Dollar" It was the hottest ticket in the greater Chicago area.
Dr. Kelso sat down with his soup. He looked at his minestrone with disgust. He had wanted a steak, but Christmas always brought budget constraints, and he was on per diem for this trip. A waiter walked by, and Kelso grabbed a crossant off the waiter's tray. Kelso sneered, "What are you going to do about it Slick?".
"I like a man who knows what he wants". Madeline Wuntch sat down beside Kelso. Kelso grabbed another croissant and handed it toWuntch. "Don't get too excited. I haven't gotten what I wanted since my wife and mistress starting going to the same water yoga class. If I didn't have to deal with these damn budget constraints, I could at least get a decent meal".
I know what you mean, stated Wuntch. the Holidays are the worst. The Overtime. The party budgets. The wasteful spending. I can't even get the internal wiretaps on the Nine Nine I need, because of legal's budget for dealing with complaints after Peralta's secret Santa exhanges. Damn Raymond"
They both laughed. They compared notes on annoyingly quirky budget hogs. "Too bad we can't stop this whole thing" . "You know, my dear....what if we could"
They schemed. If the medical community and law enforcement worked together, they could convince people there was a terrorist plot to poison the peppermint supply.
"But how do we get the media on our side?"
"We need to make it sexy. People love dinosaur stories, with their Jurassic Festival movies and whatnot. We'll say the terrorists are using dinosaur germs"
"We need a Paleontologist. But not just any paleontologist. The most fucking annoying, stupid, whiny, self-absorbed Paleontologist we can find. And we need to control the information streams"
"Right. That'll take care of the youths. But what about our generation? The smart ones"
"We need to control the libraries. We need the most manipulative controlling, librarian we can find."
"But that's not all. We'll need more"
"Absolutely we will. We'll need a veritable Legion of the Fiscally Sound"
"But we can do this. We can stop Christmas"
Meanwhile, the waiter stood there dumbfounded.
That, by itself. wasn't uncommon. But this was a different time. Waldo Faldo couldn't believe what he had heard.
He knew that this group couldn't be stopped. So he made a call. He called the smartest person he knew, Steven Urkel. And Steve called others. He knew that it would take a village to save Christmas. To each person, Steve sent Waldo's plea
Sitcom All-Stars....only you can save Christmas now.
INTRO SEGMENTS
Originally Posted by Mazer
Intro Segment 2
"Son, I don't much go for group projects"
"But....Christmas needs us"
"If Christmas can't save itself, it'll never last".
"But the govt. healthcare and law enforcement bureaucracies are taking it away from us"
"I'm sorry. Did you say you were fighting bureaucrats?"
Ron Swanson looked down at a party size platter of lunch meats.
"Don't worry son. I'll be with you in about 2 minutes"
Intro Segment 3
A nebbish looking man in a poorly tailored suit was sitting a table. Kelso and Wuntch were sharing a table with him. Further back, a shadowy figure leaned back. His bright red cowboots propped up on the table.
"So if I do this....Christmas is cancelled....and Christmas parties are cancelled....So Rachel can't go to a Christmas Party with someone else"
"Sure. That's the gist of it Slick"
"Oh definitely, this Rachel WILL DEFINITELY cancel the break if there's no Christmas" Wuntch forced down her own bile. "She'll need someone as confident and.....strong....I guess...as you to comfort her"
Ross looked at them awkwardly. "I'll do it. I just can't bare the thought of Rachel with someone who respects her. I would cancel all the holidays, just to end this break". Awkward and self-indulgent tears cascaded down his cheeks.
Suddenly the shadowy figure bolted upright and slapped Ross across the face.
"Shut up Dopey. I'm the money man here, and I'm not paying you to be a whiny pissant. You know what you need?"
"No....what?"
"Women's slacks" And with that proclamation Douglas Reynholm strode off confidently.
Originally Posted by Mazer
Intro Segment 4
"Reynholm is involved. Reynholm. It's preposterous. It can't stand. They need us"
"We're not going to fight big business. It's un-American"
"The man is British, Denny."
"What! The British want to cancel Christmas?! Not on my watch. I was trained as a sniper in the Army.....or was it a helicopter pilot? Doesn't matter. Lock and load"
"Wonderful. We'll save Christmas. They'll love us"
"They won't know what hit them......Denny.....Crane"
And with that Alan Shore and Denny Crane were on the case.
Originally Posted by Mazer
Intro Segment 5
Wuntch and Kelso moved on to the next phase of their plan. They sat in a squalid apartment. A single light shone on a pale skinned man.
"We've got to keep the info out of their hands. We've ensured that people believe that the Terrorists and Flat Earth Society have hacked their emails. That means actual data will be sent hard copy. Reynholm's taken care of any private shippers"
"And you're confident that you can handle the US Postal Service"
"It all comes back to the mail. They said we were irrelevant. They said we had gone the way of the Pony Express. But we're KINGS! KINGS I SAY!"
"So you can do it?"
"Madam....you've come to the right mail carrier".
Wuntch and Kelso left as fast as they could.
Newman remained in the room. "The mailman has finally come home to roost".
Originally Posted by Mazer
Intro Segment 6
"Please, if we don't have the man who scored four touchdowns in a single game while playing for the Polk High School Panthers in the 1966 city championship game versus Andrew Johnson High School, including the game-winning touchdown in the final seconds against his old nemesis, Bubba "Spare Tire" Dixon..... with us, I'm not sure that we can save Christmas"
"But they can't cancel Christmas. That's the only time I get paid, and I don't have to shove hippo feet into flamingo shoes"
"Daddy, you can't let them cancel Christmas daddy. That elf told me if I helped him with his candy cane, Santa would give me a big present"
"You stay away from the elf. But don't worry pumpkin, Daddy's not losing a holiday."
"Wait, did you two say they were cancelling a paid holiday? Does that include other non-traditional holidays?"
"Look, I don't know cueball. I guess."
"George is getting angry. George doesn't let anyone steal Festivus"
"Who's George?.....Are you George?"
"No daddy, George was the elf...But he does look like an angry ef"
"No time, we're off to SAVE Festivus...and I guess Christmas too"
George Costanza, Al Bundy, and Kelly Bundy raced off to save Christmas. For about 50 feet. Then George and Al got tired. They walked from that point forward.
Originally Posted by Mazer
"Look Mr. Grocery Store Man, if you can disrupt the supply chain, I'll arrange for you to have enough money to get a ROBOT HAND"-Douglas Reynholm
"You sound like a dumbass. But the kid with the glasses didn't offer me anything. So he was a bigger dumbass. Make it enough for a robot foot, so I can put my new robot foot in your ass, and its a deal"-Red Foreman
"We need to get this info to the people. Without a hand from you, Christmas will never come"
"That's what she said"-Michael Scott
Originally Posted by Mazer
"Spend my time saving Christmas I don't think..........."
Kelly Bundy walks by
".......you've had the pleasure of meeting me. Lorenzo Von Matterhorn...at you service"-Barney Stinson
Originally Posted by Mazer
"Hey there Bob-O, couldn't help but but overhear that you're thinking about cancelling christmas, just so you can pinch a few more pennies in that dried piece of leather you call an ass"
"Stay out of this Perry. You don't even like Christmas"
"Would love to do that for you Bob-arino, but here's the thing. As much I Looooathhheeee having to see Newbie over there parade around in her Christmas best, hoping that Santa will bring her the testicles she's so deeesperately wanted, there is something I hate more than Christmas. And that's just seeing you get what you want. Just literally anything you want. Money. A office. It could be you getting a piece of gum when you have the bad breath that haunts the rest of us like a waking nightmare....and I still hate it more than I hate having to watch Hugh Jackman struggle through another 'performance'. It just stings me to the point that I have to drop whatever I'm doing just to try to save the world the agony of seeing your smug face ONE MORE TIME. So sorry there Bob, but it's not gonna happen" - Dr. Perry Cox
Originally Posted by Mazer
"I can't believe I get to help save Christmas"-Carlton Banks
Opening
Originally Posted by Mazer
Wuntch looked out at her crew.
“If we can pull this off, the budget excess will be enormous. We’ll be able to justify the office improvements we’ve always dreamed of. And that’s without even considering how orderly our cities will be. Bob, you’ll get that extension into Ted’s office. The rest of you will be well compensated. Douglas, your bankrolling this initiative is a tremendous civic boon”
“Replacing Christmas with Spaceology’s Founder’s Driver’s License Day will be the boost we need”-Douglas Reynholm
“…Right. In any event, your contribution is very generous”
“About that. You’re going to hate me, but the budget is halved. I lost half of the money on Bet”
“You mean on A bet?”
“No, I mean on Bet. I fancied a night of passion with Bette Midler. Turned out it was not even her. I should have known that I couldn’t find Bette off broadway this time of year. Still best night I’ve had in a long time”
“I’ve got an idea for a great date. My foot. YOUR ass”.-Red Foreman
“Gentlemen, please. Our police and healthcare divisions have informed the public of the Dinosaur DNA Terrorist attack. The articles Ross has written are so fucking boring that reporters will only pretend they’ve read them. We can create food scares, and we control the libraries. As long as we can stop that random collection of people who get into funny situations, but somehow demonstrate competencies out of our hair, we can’t be stopped. AND TAMMY PLEASE GET OFF MR. FOREMAN”
Steve Urkel looked out at his collection of all-stars. Waldo trusted him. He needed to do this.
He walked confidently to the podium. He promptly tripped, and knocked it over. “Did I do that?”
Chaos promptly ensued. George debated Cubs vs. Yankees with Al, and tried to get him to start calling him T-bone”. Theo tried to get everyone to just be cool. Ron Swanson sat there whittling a stick.
Barry Goldberg jumped to the front of the group. “Listen everyone. I know I’m jewish, but I’m not missing out on spending Christmas with Ren. With that and my eight crazy nights, its double holiday. As the best athlete and future Dr, I should obviously be leading this group”.
At that moment, another member of the group stood up. Though short in stature, she strode through the group confidently and looked Barry in the eye”.
“Although I am taller than you, and could easily crush you, I find you extremely intimidating. I am confused by my emotions”.-Barry
“Sit down”
“I’ll sit down now”
Topanga Matthews looked out at the group “I win”
She paused “Sorry. Force of habit. We’re going to win. My daughter and her friends are not going to miss out on Christmas because of some incompetent administrators and their cronies. So, get it right”.
Jeff Winger stood up
“That’s right amazingly intimidating lady. We may not look like a lot on paper. But it doesn’t matter what we look like on paper. Because we’ve got the greatest Regional Manager that the WHOLE PAPER INDUSTRY has ever seen.
We’re not the administrators or those who sit back with our feet up (except for Denny). We’re the ones who get it done. The Dr.s who meet with the patients, the lawyers who fight for the underdog, the shoe salesmen who-sorry I’ve got nothing here, and the Uncles who uproot their whole lives to help their elementary school friend raise his daughters. We’re the ones who make it happen.
And we’re going to make this happen. We’re going to save Christmas”
“Classic Winger”. The Focus Group chuckled. This sure was a lot of storylines to focus on. And it all seemed very meta. It was going to be tough to figure out which characters to pay attention to.
To be transparent, the write-ups I do after day phases will just be flavor if I reference characters. No tie in to anyone's actual actions or roles. I just like writing these characters.
Originally Posted by Mazer
The All-stars went about their various tasks, each determined in their own way.
They bickered back and forth with each other.
Cries of "Cut it...OUT" were met with declarations of "Denny.....Crane" and "SERENITY NOW"
But in the end, the All-stars decided that they would play it safe, and take no shot today.
At the last minute, as Steve prepared to call off their activities for the night, Topanaga cried
"Wait...do you have any idea what you've done?!"
"No...no idea at all. But I feel very good about it"-Barry Goldberg
"NO LYNCHING MEANS
that we just don't lynch. that's all
And with that we go to commercial break
Night 1
Originally Posted by Mazer
"So, what do you think of the show so far?"
"Good….good. This speaks my language. If I’m in the heartlands, it makes me get off my tractor and come in and watch the moving pictures. If I’m in the cities, I put down my artisanal mustache wax and make 57 reaction vids” – The Focus Groups
“Anything you’d change?”
“Yeah, there are a lot of characters that are really boring. You know what? I’m just not going to pay any attention to any of those characters tonight.”-The Focus groups
“Alright, let’s show what you want to see”
Topanga decided that she would protect Psycho666soldier. “Nobody hurts my precious little soldier tonight”, she said as she planted herself firmly in front of him.
Uncle Joey watched Fro’s room. It was a lot easier since Danny had bought all those Ring cams. “Oh Fro. He’s been moody lately, and I know there’s a lot of pressure on these kids as they grow up. Let’s just see if there’s anybody who comes around his room tonight”
Theo went to have a talk with Pablo. “Hey man, I know that there’s been a lot going on. I don’t think you need to be partying tonight though. Dad put me in charge, and I’m not going to let him down. You’re not doing anything tonight. Being responsible is cool”.
Jeff Winger knew Jordo was at a crucial point of his life. “Jordo you’re the heart of all of us. Look, I know that this isn’t all you thought it could be, but you’re bigger than this. You’re Jor freaking do. And you can give us more”
Newman laughed gleefully. “They’re all so trusting, so so so trusting” . He gleefully started opening mail and setting about his work.
Douglas Reynholm snuck up behind Caito “AH…CATTOOO”.
“It’s Caito”
“Whatever, listen. Things just aren’t working out. You’re sacked”
“But I don’t even work for you”
“Nonetheless, you’re gonzo”. Douglas then grabbed Caito with his robot hand and threw him out the window. “There goes the best forensic accountant I ever had”.
Caito has been written out of the show. He was ??????
Currently active players
1. Virm
2. Randolph
3. CWE
4. Bert
5. Jordo
6. Kdestiny
7. Fro
8. Kangus
9. Stan Accy
10. Rip
11. TraXX
12. wardy
13. BBF
14. Badger
15. King Diamond
17. Grim
18. Pabs
19. Psycho
20. Jarrod1983
21. Peter Griffin
22. Simon
23. JP
24. Morrison
25. Mikey
Written out:
Caito-????
End Day 2
Originally Posted by Mazer
Kangus (6) - Psych, jarrod, wardy, Fro, Pabs, stan
No Lynch (2) - Peter, Rando
Pabs(1) - JP
virm (6) -grim, traxx, badger, mikey, Simon, Kangus
King D (4) - bert, virm, cwe, jordo
Simon (1) -Rip
And that's time
write-up incoming
Originally Posted by Mazer
Muntch’s minions continued their work. Muntch and Kelso held press conferences that talked about how the terrorists had used dinosaur DNA to create chemical weaponry that would go off on Christmas
At the press conference, Muntch continued,
“In fact, they’ve already injected it into various wrapping papers, candy canes, and most pine-related products”
The press corps had questions. They were going to vet this out.
“Before we get to your questions, here’s noted Paleontologist Ross Gellar to talk about the science of it”
Gellar droned on and on until the press eventually got bored, and decided just to write that it was all true.
The All-stars looked on with concern.
“IF WE DO NOT FIND ONE OF THESE GUYS IN THE NEXT FIVE MINUTES, I AM GOING TO LOSE IT’”-Michael Scott
The All-Stars prodded and poked. The Legion of the Fiscally Sound schemed. The Focus Group was enthralled.
Ultimately, there were two they couldn’t decide between.
“A man should measure twice and cut once, but indecision also has a cost. A man can't put off his decisions forever”-Ron Swanson
Originally Posted by Mazer
Kangus and Virm get another night to try to live through. Maybe more. But today's tie wasn't free. Their votes carry forward.
Kangus and Virm will start the next day phase with the following votes
Kangus (6) - Mazer
Virm (6) - Mazer
These votes will not be changed, and can only be removed after a successful lynch.
In addition, non-voters from today will receive 3 votes in the same manner.
If you did not vote on either of the first two days, I reiterate that it would be unwise to avoid a third consecutive vote.
Night 2
Originally Posted by Mazer
"So...drama. We ended the last segment on a real cliffhanger. Everyone wants to know what is going to happen tonight. Who knows what surprises we have in store next? So....What do you want to see?"
"This is compelling stuff. I haven't seen drama like this since I was a boy. I remember it well. Reagan was in the White House, Bush was president, and Clinton was running the country."-Focus Groups
"Alright....Alright. So, which plotlines do you want to follow tonight?"
Steve Urkel looked around. He needed to get some info. He decided to go undercover.
"Hey guys, what can you hepcats tell me about Pablo and Bert?"
Michael Scott walked up to Psycho. "I thought I could get through to you. But if I can't...maybe my friend can. You might know him. He's had a hard life. Prison Mike"
"Yo Psych. You think you got it all figured out. But in prison, you gotta work the yard man. And you know who makes you do even more? The Dementors. So let's get working. Cause I don't want to see you get your soul sucked out".
George Costanza crossed paths with Pablo. "Pablo....Pablo DEEABlo. Can't help but notice you double dipped". George's ranting on social etiquette kept Pablo tied up for the remainder of the night.
Dr. Cox was worried that Kelso's budget cuts could impact his patients. He kept a vigil over JP's room, looking for any unauthorized visitors.
Carlton Banks marched right up to JP. "Alright mister. Let's just see if you left the house last night".
Years of evading government agents had prepared Alf for this moment. He knew how to find cover when the heat was on. "Traxx, my man. You just stand here, and I'll be right behind you"
Meanwhile, Newman continued his work. He couldn't get enough of this glorious paperwork
As they prepared to film segment, Focus Groups spoke up
"Wait. One more thing. I really didn't feel like you guys handled Caito's character right. There was a lot of unexplored ground there. I want to see more of him".
"Huh, well we could always reboot him"
Currently active players
1. Virm
2. Randolph
3. CWE
4. Bert
5. Jordo
6. Kdestiny
7. Fro
8. Kangus
9. Stan Accy
10. Rip
11. TraXX
12. wardy
13. BBF
14. Badger
15. King Diamond
16. Caito
17. Grim
18. Pabs
19. Psycho
20. Jarrod1983
21. Peter Griffin
22. Simon
23. JP
24. Morrison
25. Mikey
The All-Stars made valiant efforts. Uncovering some clues and completely contorting others. Which were which? Only a few knew.
"WHAT DID YOU DO MICHAEL?" Barry Goldberg yelled repeatedly. And the others were as focused on Michael's actions as the Scott's Tots had ever been.
Michael Scott was delighted with all the attention. "See the thing is the one thing that you must always remember is to remember this one thing". He said helpfully
On this day the All-Stars decided discretion was the better part of valor.
Meanwhile The Legion plotted. They hadn't gotten as far as they wanted. But they were one day closer to Christmas, and the All-Stars had one less day to save it.
The loss of Newman was undeniably a setback, as no mass terror Dinosaur DNA hoax had ever succeeded without the assistance of the Postal Service.
But Wuntch was undeterred.
And sometimes, she knew, loss brought opportunity....
Night 3
Originally Posted by Mazer
“So….that was some drama huh? A lot of back and forth and we ended on another cliffhanger. People still hanging on by a thread. And we rebooted Caito!”
“I love it. This is what I want to see. A lot of plots going on; keeping up with more than half of it keeps me with my eyeballs glued. But I’m in” – The Focus Groups
“Alright, we’ve got lots of action we could see tonight, baby. Whose content are you wanting to follow?”
Topanga Matthews started the night a little confused. She was in full on Mama Bear mode, but she ended up protecting herself. Sometimes, you have to protect the inner goddess.
Jeff Winger sought out Caito. “Caito, you came back to us, just when we needed you most. You’re like a brother to me. But Caito, we can’t keep going on circles. We need you to take it to the next level. That’s what we need from you now.”
Ron Swanson kept a silent vigil, listening to the songs of Willie Nelson as he did. No matter what Pablo did, he was in Ron’s view.
Alf was keeping on the move. Wuntch was too much like the government agents who had kept him prisoner, and he wanted no part of it. He snuck in behind Jarrod and settled in.
Tammy 2 knew she needed to stop Virm. So she broke into her standard bag of tricks. After Tammy repeatedly beat on her chest and ass with Beef Jerky, Virm was transfixed. He and Tammy spent the night at the Red Roof Inn, only for Virm to wake up the next day with his chest hair braided.
Douglas Reynholm again found his target. “Ah, greetings Solder of Psychosis of the 6th degree”
“Its Psycho666Soldier”-Said Psycho666Soldier
“Is that a Goth thing?”
“Not really…Back when I was younger”
“Shut your mouth Goth. My father fired a goth and so SHALL I”
“OK, just hold on a minute”
“I SHALL NOT. YOU ARE SACKED”
With that, Douglas grabbed Psych with his Robot hand, and threw him through the red door.
He was never heard from again.
Psycho has been written out. Psycho was Steve Urkel-Town Cop
Currently active players
1. Virm
2. Randolph
3. CWE
4. Bert
5. Jordo
6. Kdestiny
7. Fro
8. Kangus
9. Stan Accy
10. Rip
11. TraXX
12. wardy
13. BBF
14. Badger
15. King Diamond
16. Caito
17. Grim
18. Pabs
20. Jarrod1983
21. Peter Griffin
22. Simon
23. JP
24. Morrison
25. Mikey
Written out:
King Diamond-Newman-Mafia JOAT
Psycho-Steve Urkel Town Cop
With 23 active players, hammer is at 12.
Due to no lynch on the day following the tie, votes assigned at the beginning of last day carry forward. This continues until there is a successful lynch
"Let's do it for Steve. Nobody with much style should be written off early" shouted Carlton
Wardy, utilizing his massive leg strength, leaped over the fence and started to dash another.
He was almost gone, when he turned the corner and ran right into a waiting Dr. Cox.
"Lemme stop you right there Wardy. Huh...Wardy....Well don't you know it, but that sounds a bit like wordy. Which is something you've been entirely too much of this go round. See here's the thing wardarino. You can change your name, but I'd know that soulless gait anywhere. The beat of your cloven hooves haunts my nightmares. But finally....god almighty...when the saints go marching in must be playing, because you are going on the long dark administrative leave of the soul....Bob"
Wardy has been written off. He was Dr. Bob Kelso-Mafia back-up
DAMMIT! That's another one screamed Wuntch
"Listen here Love. Sure the old Dr is gone, but we've bought the press. We can make this happen. You ...Dinosaur man. Get on with it."-Douglas Reynholm
Wuntch looked at the All-Stars smiling and laughing. Before it was about sound fiscal principles. Now, it was personal
Night 4 begins now. You have 24 hours to send in your roles.
Night 4
Originally Posted by Mazer
"Alright, let's see what you think so far"
"I can't stand the excitement. What a reveal for Dr. Kelso. Which characters will I see next. Tough to know. But the thrill keeps me coming back" Focus Groups
"cool...coolcoolcool. What should we look at tonight?"
Topanga was heartbroken over the loss over her beloved soldier. It would not happen again. She stood outside of Bert’s door. “Don’t worry my precious Bert. Momma will keep you safe”.
George went up to Stan. “You know. This isn’t just about saving Christmas. This also about saving Festivus. And boy howdy do I have a list of grievances for YOU.” With that George began to berate Stan, leaving him no alternative but to spend the rest of the night listening to the Airing of Grievances.
Alf could keep this up forever. He was living the good life, staying one step ahead of the competition. On this night, he hid behind Badger. Who better to attract a cat than another forest animal?
Carlton put on his best cardigan and pulled right up to Stan. He hopped out of the car and said “Listen here Buster Brown. Let’s just find out what you were up to yesterday evening. And don’t think I won’t tell mom and dad if you were out”.
Tammy was insatiable. She sought out Jarrod. As he was peacefully about his business, Tammy set upon him. After getting matching tattoos of Millard Fillmore, she drug him to the LaQuinta Inn. When Tammy left him the next morning, Jarrod was curled in the fetal position with only his tattoo of Fillmore to comfort him.
Reynholm found Bert.
“Why hello there Bart”
“Its Bert”
“Right. I always get those two mixed up. You remind me of Bert Simpson. But you must get that all the time”
“That’s Bart”
“You said it was Bert”
“No, I’m Bert”
“Look here Bart, if you can’t make up your mind, we’ve got no place for you here”
And with that Reynholm delivered a robot hand karate chop, sending Bert packing.
Bert has been written out. He was Theo Huxtable ON Roleblocker
Currently active players
Currently active players
1. Virm
2. Randolph
3. CWE
5. Jordo
6. Kdestiny
7. Fro
8. Kangus
9. Stan Accy
10. Rip
11. TraXX
13. BBF
14. Badger
16. Caito
17. Grim
18. Pabs
20. Jarrod1983
21. Peter Griffin
22. Simon
23. JP
24. Morrison
25. Mikey
Written out:
King Diamond-Newman-Mafia JOAT
Psycho-Steve Urkel Town Cop
Bert-Theo Huxtable-Town ON Roleblocker
wardy- Dr Kelso. Scum Back-up
With 21 active players, hammer is at 11
Day 5 begins now.
Day 5
Originally Posted by Mazer
The All-Stars moved with a surety typically only associated with the righteous.
They looked around and saw shops closing, stockings removed from fireplaces, and Benihana's not allowing parties. They circled Stan
"Guys, wait. Everyone has a double. You must be thinking of my double."-Stan Accy
The All-Stars closed in, undeterred.
"Guys, please. No....No.... SAVE ME JOHNNY LAWRENCE!"
Stan has been written off. He was Barney Stinson-Town EN Tracker.
Written out:
King Diamond-Newman-Mafia JOAT
Psycho-Steve Urkel Town Cop
Bert-Theo Huxtable-Town ON Roleblocker
wardy- Dr Kelso. Scum Back-up
Stan Accy-Barney Stinson-EN Tracker
Night 5 Begins now
Night 5
Originally Posted by Mazer
So Focus Groups, how are we feeling?
“Its been an emotional roller coaster. The ups, the downs…all the characters we’ve lost, the rebooting of Caito…all the drama....I'm hooked”-The Focus Groups
“So you’re feeling pretty engaged?”
“Oh absolutely, I think things are tightening up”
“So we were thinking now that we’ve streamlined the cast some, that we wouldn’t need to cut quite as many scenes tonight”
“Oh absolutely. I’m there for it”
Barry Goldberg confidently strode to the front of the room. “Don’t worry all. I, Big Tasty, am here to save all of you. SAP!” With that Barry went to Kangus. “All right Capt. Kangus, let’s just find out what you’re all about”.
Alf had been successful staying out of the spotlight. He looked over at Caito. Since the name Caito looked like Cat-0, Alf decided that this was enough for him, and hunkered down.
Jeff Winger took JP aside “JP, we all know about your troubled past. But that’s the past. We need you here. Today. I believe in you. I always have. Now, go and save Christmas” JP left, an extra spring in his stride. Sadly, it would not be the last visit JP made on that night.
Tammy decided that she wasn’t quite done with Virm. Virm had barely unbraided his chest hair when Tammy found him again. She shut the library down and drug Virm to the Periodicals section. When Tammy left the next morning, both Virm and the entire collection of People Magazine from 86-91 were wrecked.
“JP Wentworth-I’ve been looking for you. I have a structured settlement and I need cash now”-Douglas Reynholm
“My last name’s not Wentworth…its….”
“I said I HAVE A STRUCTURED SETTLEMENT AND I NEED CASH NOW”
“I can’t help you with….”
“ITS MY MONEY AND I WANT IT NOW. GO GET IT”
With that Douglas grabbed JP and threw him out into the street. Where he was run over by an oncoming delivery van.
Douglas looked on, “At least he died doing what he loved”
JP has been written out. He was Ron Swanson-ON tracker
Written out:
King Diamond-Newman-Mafia JOAT
Psycho-Steve Urkel Town Cop
Bert-Theo Huxtable-Town ON Roleblocker
wardy- Dr Kelso. Scum Back-up
Stan Accy-Barney Stinson-EN Tracker
JP-Ron Swanson-ON Tracker
With 20 active players, hammer is at 11
Day 6 begins now
Day 6
Originally Posted by Mazer
The All-Stars assembled. On this day, there was a lot of activity, but needed to go right up until the commercial break.
Mikey was on the run, but unfortunately for Mikey a fire alarm hit at the same time. George Costanza was so unnerved, that he frantically started running away/ he pushed down children and women in the pursuit of his escape.
Unfortunately for the nefarious forces of The Fiscally Sound, one of those flattened by Costanza's escape was Mikey.
After the mob dissipated, the All-Stars looked down to find.....
Wuntch
Mikey has been written out. He was Wuntch-Mafia Godfather
Written out:
King Diamond-Newman-Mafia JOAT
Psycho-Steve Urkel Town Cop
Bert-Theo Huxtable-Town ON Roleblocker
wardy- Dr Kelso. Scum Back-up
Stan Accy-Barney Stinson-EN Tracker
JP-Ron Swanson-ON Tracker
Mikey-Wuntch-Scum Godfather
Night 6 begins now
Night 6
Originally Posted by Mazer
“Focus Groups, your feedback has been invaluable. Good to know that you find these characters compelling”
“I’m here for the story. I love it.”-Focus Groups
“Alright, we deleted a few less scenes last night, so let’s keep with this amount of content for a little while more. What do you want to watch tonight?”
“Hmmmm… there’s been a lot of compelling action. Here’s who I’m less interested in tonight. Can’t wait to see who pops up”
Alf was again on the move. He decided to go with his gut, certainly Jordo would have some spare feline. He took refuge behind him on this night.
Dr. Cox looked onwards. “Ok there CWE. I’m just going to stay here. You be you. But old Dr. Cox will be here in case anyone comes to see little old you. Now mind you carolwe, I’m not going to stop them. That would just require a bit more effort than I’m willing to give. But I will be happy to observe whatever it is they decide to do to you. So you just tuck yourself in princess”.
Ross walked up to CWE. CWE was immediately annoyed, as Ross was already mind-numbingly boring. Ross said “Have you never taken one of my classes? Boy, you don’t know what you’ve been missing”. With that Ross droned on and fucking on. Nobody wanted to be there, but Ross’s boring lecture extended even past the bell ringing to signal next period.
“Why hello there Bodger.” – Reynholm
“It’s Badger”
“Whoa. Nobody said anything about people with a badge being here. I thought I had enough with that glasses kid. This is a lot of heat”
“Badger, like the animal, but actually….”
“I’ve heard just about enough of you. I believe you need to take a trip”
With that Reynholm shoved Badger out of the window.
“They say its good luck to send send a Scotsman off to sea”
Badger has been written out. He was Barry Goldberg-Town back-up
Written out:
King Diamond-Newman-Mafia JOAT
Psycho-Steve Urkel Town Cop
Bert-Theo Huxtable-Town ON Roleblocker
wardy- Dr Kelso. Scum Back-up
Stan Accy-Barney Stinson-EN Tracker
JP-Ron Swanson-ON Tracker
Mikey-Wuntch-Scum Godfather
Badger-Barry Goldberg-Town Back-up
Peter Griffin-Michael Scott EN Motivator
With 16 players active, hammer is at 9
Day 7 begins now
Day 7
Originally Posted by Mazer
The All-Stars gathered round Rip. They moved so swiftly, he didn't even know he was in danger.
Instead, Ross droned on and on like only the world's most self-absorbed paleontologist could.
The town seized him, and as one body, threw him to the curb (as Rachel should have in season 1).
Immediately after this action, enrollment in the Paleontology program at Ross's university tripled.
Written out:
King Diamond-Newman-Mafia JOAT
Psycho-Steve Urkel Town Cop
Bert-Theo Huxtable-Town ON Roleblocker
wardy- Dr Kelso. Scum Back-up
Stan Accy-Barney Stinson-EN Tracker
JP-Ron Swanson-ON Tracker
Mikey-Wuntch-Scum Godfather
Badger-Barry Goldberg-Town Back-up
Peter Griffin-Michael Scott EN Motivator
Rip - Ross-Mafia JOAT
Night 7
Originally Posted by Mazer
Alright focus groups, we’ve got quite a lot going on. We’re going to run the same number of scenarios tonight.
We do have lots of things going on. This better than a choose your own adventure. -Focus Groups
Kelly Bundy bounced onto the scene. She ran into Fro and employed the “Bundy Bounce” to leave him in a stupor. Kelly’s bounce was so effective that she was able to also find Kdestiny and bounce for him as well. The two spent the night in a stupor, but at least they were entertained.
Alf, satisfied with his previous meals, looked on at Kangus. Since his name reminded ALF of a marsupial, Alf decided to bunker down behind him. But there was an awkward moment when Alf tried to hide in Kangus’s "pouch".
Written out:
King Diamond-Newman-Mafia JOAT
Psycho-Steve Urkel Town Cop
Bert-Theo Huxtable-Town ON Roleblocker
wardy- Dr Kelso. Scum Back-up
Stan Accy-Barney Stinson-EN Tracker
JP-Ron Swanson-ON Tracker
Mikey-Wuntch-Scum Godfather
Badger-Barry Goldberg-Town Back-up
Peter Griffin-Michael Scott EN Motivator
Rip - Ross-Mafia JOAT
With 15 players left, hammer is at 8
Day 8 begins now
Day 8
The All-Stars were showing that they had finally blended their collective powers for the greater good. Yes, the losses of people like Michael Scott had hurt, but they were not united.
No sooner had kdestiny rebounded from the Bundy Bounce induced befuddlement, than the all-stars set upon him.
He tried desperately to escape, reminding the various all-stars of the nights of passion and beef jerky they had shared.
Finally, Alf could stand no more talk of beef jerky. He pulled off kdestiny's mask...only to reveal....
Kdestiny has been written out. He was Tammy-Mafia Roleblocker.
Written out:
King Diamond-Newman-Mafia JOAT
Psycho-Steve Urkel Town Cop
Bert-Theo Huxtable-Town ON Roleblocker
wardy- Dr Kelso. Scum Back-up
Stan Accy-Barney Stinson-EN Tracker
JP-Ron Swanson-ON Tracker
Mikey-Wuntch-Scum Godfather
Badger-Barry Goldberg-Town Back-up
Peter Griffin-Michael Scott EN Motivator
Rip - Ross-Mafia JOAT
Kdestiny-Tammy-Mafia Roleblocker
The night (8) begins now.
Night 8
Hey, looks like we almost had a little technical issue tonight. But no worries. Your signal can't be interrupted.
That's good. I want to keep up with the storylines. We're in a good spot right now.-Focus Groups
So, that's the thing. we need to keep plugging away. Were locked in. Couldn't stop if we wanted to.
On this night, Dr. Cox once again set out to check in on his patient. He decided to continue his previous watch over CWE. “All right there Cynthiawe. I was here all night before, and nobody came to visit you. So I’m really sorry that you didn’t get asked out to prom, so you and all your friends could dance the night away to the tunes of Taylor Swift, but that’s not what I’m here for. I’ll just camp myself out here again, and see what happens”
Carlton walked up to Grim. “See here mister. There’s been talk of a lot of curfew breaking the night before last. Let’s just see if you were one of them”.
Red Foreman looked on at Fro and Kangus. “What do we have here. A couple of dumbasses. How bout I put your boot up his ass and vice versa”.
Meanwhile, Reynholm once more approached his target.
“Hello there A-rod Number3. I’ve got say I enjoyed your Mariners days better than when you were a Yang – Key”
“I never played for the Yankees”-Jarrod1983
“Well I know there was that whole mess with the steroids or Spanish Fly or whatever it was”
“No, I didn’t play for the Mariners either, you have the wrong guy I’m…”
“Now listen here young man, you owed more to the city of Seattle than to have never played while you were there. I’ll do what Casey Stengel never had the balls to do. You’re SACKED”
With that, Reynholm delivered a devastating chokeslam with his robot hand
“That’s for the Boston Tea Party, you dirty yank”
Jarrod1983 has been eliminated. He was
Dr. Cox-EN Watcher
Written out:
King Diamond-Newman-Mafia JOAT
Psycho-Steve Urkel Town Cop
Bert-Theo Huxtable-Town ON Roleblocker
wardy- Dr Kelso. Scum Back-up
Stan Accy-Barney Stinson-EN Tracker
JP-Ron Swanson-ON Tracker
Mikey-Wuntch-Scum Godfather
Badger-Barry Goldberg-Town Back-up
Peter Griffin-Michael Scott EN Motivator
Rip - Ross-Mafia JOAT
Kdestiny-Tammy-Mafia Roleblocker
Jarrod-Dr. Cox EN Watcher
Simon-Al Bundy-Judge
With 12 players left, hammer is at 7
Day 9
The All-Stars surrounded Randolph.
But Rando stood his ground. He gave them a fierce look of rebuke that combined power, judgement, and wisdom in a way that none of them could comprehend.
But the mob persevered. It took a Jeff Winger speech, a Bundy bounce, a Carlton lecture, a Costanza feat of strength, and all the various special moves of the All-Stars to overcome this one.
Only when they dust and wreckage cleared did they realize what they had done. They had slain the greatest among them.
Written out:
King Diamond-Newman-Mafia JOAT
Psycho-Steve Urkel Town Cop
Bert-Theo Huxtable-Town ON Roleblocker
wardy- Dr Kelso. Scum Back-up
Stan Accy-Barney Stinson-EN Tracker
JP-Ron Swanson-ON Tracker
Mikey-Wuntch-Scum Godfather
Badger-Barry Goldberg-Town Back-up
Peter Griffin-Michael Scott EN Motivator
Rip - Ross-Mafia JOAT
Kdestiny-Tammy-Mafia Roleblocker
Jarrod-Dr. Cox EN Watcher
Simon-Al Bundy-Judge
Rando-Topanga-Doc
Night 9
Hey, looks like we almost had a little technical issue tonight. But no worries. Your signal can't be interrupted.
That's good. I want to keep up with the storylines. We're in a good spot right now.-Focus Groups
So, that's the thing. we need to keep plugging away. Were locked in. Couldn't stop if we wanted to.
On this night, Dr. Cox once again set out to check in on his patient. He decided to continue his previous watch over CWE. “All right there Cynthiawe. I was here all night before, and nobody came to visit you. So I’m really sorry that you didn’t get asked out to prom, so you and all your friends could dance the night away to the tunes of Taylor Swift, but that’s not what I’m here for. I’ll just camp myself out here again, and see what happens”
Carlton walked up to Grim. “See here mister. There’s been talk of a lot of curfew breaking the night before last. Let’s just see if you were one of them”.
Red Foreman looked on at Fro and Kangus. “What do we have here. A couple of dumbasses. How bout I put your boot up his ass and vice versa”.
Meanwhile, Reynholm once more approached his target.
“Hello there A-rod Number3. I’ve got say I enjoyed your Mariners days better than when you were a Yang – Key”
“I never played for the Yankees”-Jarrod1983
“Well I know there was that whole mess with the steroids or Spanish Fly or whatever it was”
“No, I didn’t play for the Mariners either, you have the wrong guy I’m…”
“Now listen here young man, you owed more to the city of Seattle than to have never played while you were there. I’ll do what Casey Stengel never had the balls to do. You’re SACKED”
With that, Reynholm delivered a devastating chokeslam with his robot hand
“That’s for the Boston Tea Party, you dirty yank”
Jarrod1983 has been eliminated. He was
Dr. Cox-EN Watcher
Written out:
King Diamond-Newman-Mafia JOAT
Psycho-Steve Urkel Town Cop
Bert-Theo Huxtable-Town ON Roleblocker
wardy- Dr Kelso. Scum Back-up
Stan Accy-Barney Stinson-EN Tracker
JP-Ron Swanson-ON Tracker
Mikey-Wuntch-Scum Godfather
Badger-Barry Goldberg-Town Back-up
Peter Griffin-Michael Scott EN Motivator
Rip - Ross-Mafia JOAT
Kdestiny-Tammy-Mafia Roleblocker
Jarrod-Dr. Cox EN Watcher
Simon-Al Bundy-Judge
With 12 players left, hammer is at 7
Day 10
Originally Posted by Mazer
On this day, there was no uncertainty. As the All-Stars shed tears over their fallen brethren, they looked up with determination.
"Now hold on now....that could have been any body"-Fro said
"I can see you. You're standing by CWE's and Kangus's corpses"
"These bodies could be anybody"
"I mean.... that's kangus and cwe. They have name tags"
"Alright, Ok. I know what you're thinking"
"Yes, We said what we're thinking....already"
"You'll never take me alive"
Fro tried to run, but ran right into Kelly and Carlton. Banks/Bundy justice was swift and fierce.
Fro has been written out. He was Douglas Reynholm-Mafia killer.
Written out:
King Diamond-Newman-Mafia JOAT
Psycho-Steve Urkel Town Cop
Bert-Theo Huxtable-Town ON Roleblocker
wardy- Dr Kelso. Scum Back-up
Stan Accy-Barney Stinson-EN Tracker
JP-Ron Swanson-ON Tracker
Mikey-Wuntch-Scum Godfather
Badger-Barry Goldberg-Town Back-up
Peter Griffin-Michael Scott EN Motivator
Rip - Ross-Mafia JOAT
Kdestiny-Tammy-Mafia Roleblocker
Jarrod-Dr. Cox EN Watcher
Simon-Al Bundy-Judge
Rando-Topanga-Doc
Kangus-Jeff Winger-ON Motivator
CWE-Denny Crane-MAson Vigilante
Fro-Reynholm-Mafia Killer
Night 10 begins now
Night 10
Originally Posted by Mazer
So that was good right? Lots of things to get excited about. I’m sure Christmas is fine. We can cut a few less scenes this time.
Yeah, its great. Why do you seem so nervous?-Focus Groups
No reason. Its just fine. Christmas is fine. Its just entertainment. No reason to worry.
The forces of fiscal expediency and the forces of good had each taken their lumps. Panic about the terrorist dinosaur DNA spread through the community, even with the All-Stars cutting evil off at the knees. But there was still time. Still time to save Christmas
George Costanza was well-prepared. He ran up to Grim. “Time for the feats of strength”. Using wrestling skills he learned from his father, he engaged Grim in a match for the ages. Eventually George locked grim in a headlock, a resthold that kept both occupied through the evening.
Meanwhile, Alan Shore was determined to do his part. He took aim at virm. Using the sharpshooting skills he learned from Denny, Alan delivered a sniper shot to virm. Virm looked up in surprise. The words “cut it out” escaping his mouth in a harsh whisper.
Virm has been written out. He was Uncle Joey-ON Watcher.
Currently active players
1 Jordo
2. TraXX
3. BBF
4. Caito
5. Grim
6. Pabs
Written out:
King Diamond-Newman-Mafia JOAT
Psycho-Steve Urkel Town Cop
Bert-Theo Huxtable-Town ON Roleblocker
wardy- Dr Kelso. Scum Back-up
Stan Accy-Barney Stinson-EN Tracker
JP-Ron Swanson-ON Tracker
Mikey-Wuntch-Scum Godfather
Badger-Barry Goldberg-Town Back-up
Peter Griffin-Michael Scott EN Motivator
Rip - Ross-Mafia JOAT
Kdestiny-Tammy-Mafia Roleblocker
Jarrod-Dr. Cox EN Watcher
Simon-Al Bundy-Judge
Rando-Topanga-Doc
CWE-Denny Crane-Mason Vigilante
Kangus-Jeff Winger-ON Motivator
Fro-Reynholm-Mafia Killer
Virm-Uncle Joey-EN Watcher
Morri-Alf-Hider
Day 11 begins now
With 6 active players, hammer is at 4
Last edited by Mazer; December 23rd, 2020 at 10:08 PM.
You can start signing up now. I will update this post with rules. The first post will contain write-ups and actions.
Rules:
Day phases (Segments) are 48 hours. Nights (Commercial Breaks) are 24. No gamechat at night. I'll set timeframes, and they'll expire at that point (even if I'm not online that exact moment.
Don't breadcrumb or roleclaim. Even if other people figure out who you are, you can't be blatant about it. You can say things like "Mazer is unfriendly to town". That doesn't mean you can start telling everyone who you're going to be investigating that night. Have a little artistry and pride in your craft.
Don't edit your posts.
Votes are automatically done at hammer. If there is no hammer at the end of the 48 hour period, the leading vote getter will be lynched (no lynch is an option). If there is a tie, something will happen.
I hope this is a fun game for all
Last edited by Mazer; December 1st, 2020 at 1:23 AM.