Speaking of sequels... I'm not talking about any sequels. But I did catch a pair of remakes last night.
- "Pet Semetary" (2019) (yes, they do joke about how "cemetery" is spelled wrong) was a surprisingly solid remake of a not-so-great Stephen King adaptation. They don't add or subtract a whole lot from the book, but they do make a few minor changes. The first of which, is that they movie is set in the modern day. The "inciting incident" of the movie's entire final third is caused by a truck driver texting and driving. And no, he's not listening to The Ramones this time. They also made the decision to have...
The Creed's little girl be the one killed by the tractor trailer truck. There's a nice misdirect where Gauge, their son, wanders out near the busy road. But the daughter saves him, only to get splatted by the truck's dislodged trailer. Its not graphic or bloody. But it doesn't need to be. Its just sad and heartbreaking. The scariest thing about it, is that it was an entirely preventable accident, not because the little girl is a smear of read paste on the road.
Things get a little -- okay, a lot silly, when the deceased "comes back wrong" and their Wendigo-side starts to take over. By the end of the movie, you've got a guy who was just a Terminator basically getting kicked around by a small child. But the buildup and the atmosphere of the movie plays well right up until that scene. The actual Pet "Semetary" isn't some supernatural menace. But beyond the dead fall barricade, Little God Swamp looks like something out of a 60's Hammer Horror movie; there's constant lightning in the background, wind, and roaring creatures that we never quite get to see.
Of other note, John Lithgow is great as Judd. Even though Herman Munster had his charm, Lithgow is obviously a better actor. He's got a great combination of woodsy folksy friendliness, while also obviously trying to keep the Creed family from discovering the supernatural Hellscape beyond the dead fall. I've never read the "Pet Semetary" novel, so I don't know if Judd was used more in the book. But I wanted more of him here.
Also, the mother, while not utilized great as a character, gets a pretty horrific backstory involving a sister with spinal bifida and a dumbwaiter. Don't ask, I won't tell.
In all, I'd give "Pet Semetary" "7.5 "Ramones Tribute Bands Playing "Pet Semetary" out Of 10".
Also, caught the "Child's Play" remake.
Surprisingly, I didn't hate it. But holy Hell, did that movie try, for about 60% of its run time to make Chucky into something of a "hero".
In this version of "Child's Play", the Chuckster isn't some serial killer voodoo doll. "He's" a doll used to interface with all of your home appliances and apps. And "He" had all of his safety protocols deactivated by an angry programmer who was fired for staring off into space on work time.
Yeah... not quite as cool.
Chucky, in "his" own movie doesn't feel like his own character. He's, quite literally, a device used to move the plot forward. In the original, he was an asshole caught in insane circumstances, who was still a serial killer asshole. Just as a 3-foot tall ugly doll. Here, Chucky does his damnedest to actually be Andy's friend. He just takes it too damn far.
When Chucky...
Strangles Andy's family cat and murders his mom's boyfriend (who was cheating on his wife with her) -- it doesn't feel like a slasher villain putting people through their paces. Chucky in this flick is a broken appliance, not a character with motives and a plot of his own.
Also, I'll say this, Aubrey Plaza looks way, way too young to have a kid.
But yeah, there's still a lot to like about this movie. The idea of a killer machine literally tied into everything you own is pretty freaky shit. Chucky becoming Skynet isn't something I knew I needed, until it was given to me. There's a great scene where Andy and his friends actually jump Chuck, before he goes full on evil and they actually crush his head with a fire extinguisher.
There's actually a good deal of humor to enjoy, too. A lot of really creatively violent stuff. The Jack Black looking pervy maintenance guy gets the worst side of a table saw and an HVAC pipe. Its pretty wicked shit.
Oh, and Chucky..
Going full "Skynet" and taking over all the new "Buddi" Dolls and the drones with razor blades stuck to their wings, and going whole ham on a bunch of shoppers straight out of an Apple I-Phone Midnight launch was great shit. A bloody whirling dervish that I just wish had gone on a little longer. Oh.. and those creepy tiger Buddi dolls... ; (
In all, there's a lot of decent humor in this one, a lot of good violence and gore, the characters are fun and likable. There's enough meat on the bone to recommend this one.
Also, Mark Hamill as Chucky works. And there's a great moment where Andy tries to name him "Han Solo".
Oh.. and watch for the "Robocop" reference.
I'll give this flick 7 "Its Still Better Than "Child's Play 3"'s Out Of 10".
My one big criticism with the "Child's Play" remake is this:
There's no big "reveal" scene like the original. When Kristina Hendricks pulls down Chucky's little coveralls in the original, to try to get to the bottom of all the crazy shit that's been going on, and finds out, that for the entire movie, Chucky never had his 6 D-Cell batteries in -- but he's been talking and moving and then *BOOM* he reveals himself to her. That's perfect shit. That's a reveal so fucking subtle that it actually borders on creepy.
The remake has Chucky wandering around, talking, conversing, and whatever else. And its so normal. There's no way to contrive a "there's no batteries! Ahhh!!!" reveal scene.