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Thread: Genuinely unbelievable stats

  1. #1
    Shit is orrrn Simon's Avatar
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    zimbabwe

    Genuinely unbelievable stats

    I'm still getting to grips with the fact that Jose Mourinho hasn't lost a home league match in NINE seasons. That sounds like the sort of stat you would jokingly make up in order to emphasise that he has a great home league record. It's quite difficult to get on board with the idea that it's actually true.

    Similarly, Zlatan has won the league wherever he has played for the past seven or eight years, spanning five clubs in Holland, Italy and Spain. Not bad for a player who is irredeemably shit according to every English media correspondent in existence.

    I have the feeling that when the dust settles and football finances get back down to a realistic level, we will look back on Andy Carroll and laugh to ourselves at the fact that he cost 35m.

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    Inter Milandy
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    We laugh at that already.

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    Football, bloody hell!
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    Trophies won by Sir Alex Ferguson

    S.t. Mirren:

    1 Scottish First Division championship 1977

    Aberdeen:

    3 Scottish Premier League Titles 1980,1984,1985
    4 Scottish F.A. Cups 1982,1983,1984,1986
    1 Scottish League Cup 1986
    1 European Cup Winners Cup 1983
    1 European Super Cup 1983

    Manchester United:

    11 English Premier League Titles 1993,1994,1996,1997,1999,2000,2001,2003,2007,2008, 2009
    9 Charity/community Shields 1990,1993,1994,1996,1997,2003,2007,2008,2010
    5 English F.A. Cups 1990,1994,1996,1999,2004
    4 English League Cups 1992,2006,2009,2010
    2 European Cups 1999,2008
    1 European Cup Winners Cup 1991
    1 European Super Cup 1991
    1 Intercontintal cup 1999
    1 Fifa club World Cup 2008



    Incredible.

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    Inter Milandy
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    95 - Arsenal have allowed opposition players fewer shots on target against them than any other team in the Premier League.


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    We just went 36 games unbeaten at home.

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    Simone turdpower's Avatar
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    Arsenal being the first club ever to not have a shot in a Champions League game.

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    Shit is orrrn Simon's Avatar
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    zimbabwe
    In the first leg of Barcelona vs Inter last year, Victor Valdes covered more distance than Zlatan Ibrahimovic. In the second leg, Xavi completed more passes than the entire Inter team.

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    Simone turdpower's Avatar
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    I liked the one Alex posted the other day about Newcastle having not won a 3pm Saturday KO game for 3 years.

    I told a couple of mates that and they said it was shit

  9. #9
    What'cha gonna do? Alex's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by turdpower View Post
    I liked the one Alex posted the other day about Newcastle having not won a 3pm Saturday KO game for 3 years.

    I told a couple of mates that and they said it was shit
    In the Premier League. I think it's been about 15 matches now.

  10. #10
    Simone turdpower's Avatar
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    Yeah, they didnt think I was talking "shit". They didn't think it was that impressive.

  11. #11
    Inter Milandy
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    The one about Rio Ferdinand hardly ever fouling is quite impressive.

  12. #12
    43rd Best Rajah Poster
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    Quote Originally Posted by Keano's Magic Hat View Post
    Trophies won by Sir Alex Ferguson

    S.t. Mirren:

    1 Scottish First Division championship 1977

    Aberdeen:

    3 Scottish Premier League Titles 1980,1984,1985
    4 Scottish F.A. Cups 1982,1983,1984,1986
    1 Scottish League Cup 1986
    1 European Cup Winners Cup 1983
    1 European Super Cup 1983

    Manchester United:

    11 English Premier League Titles 1993,1994,1996,1997,1999,2000,2001,2003,2007,2008, 2009
    9 Charity/community Shields 1990,1993,1994,1996,1997,2003,2007,2008,2010
    5 English F.A. Cups 1990,1994,1996,1999,2004
    4 English League Cups 1992,2006,2009,2010
    2 European Cups 1999,2008
    1 European Cup Winners Cup 1991
    1 European Super Cup 1991
    1 Intercontintal cup 1999
    1 Fifa club World Cup 2008



    Incredible.
    Trophies won by Brian Clough with not the biggest and richest club in the world.

    Also incredible.


    With Derby County
    Winner:
    With Nottingham Forest
    Individual Awards
    • English Manager of the Year: 1978

  13. #13
    Simone turdpower's Avatar
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    Do you think perhaps helping to transform them INTO the biggest club in the world is perhaps more impressive

  14. #14
    43rd Best Rajah Poster
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    Quote Originally Posted by turdpower View Post
    Do you think perhaps helping to transform them INTO the biggest club in the world is perhaps more impressive
    No.

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    Simone turdpower's Avatar
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    I didn't think you'd agree.

    He probably should have won more Watney cups.

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    43rd Best Rajah Poster
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    Your question didnt really make sense.

    Are you suggesting United were a small club when he took over?

  17. #17
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    Anyway here is a STAT.

    Nottingham Forest have gained more points at Pride Park in 2011 than Derby County have.

  18. #18
    Simone turdpower's Avatar
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    No, were you suggesting they were the biggest club in the world when he took over?

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    No I wasn't.

    It would depend how you define biggest anyway but I dont know who was the biggest club in the world in 1986.

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    Simone turdpower's Avatar
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    River Plate.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Simon View Post
    In the first leg of Barcelona vs Inter last year, Victor Valdes covered more distance than Zlatan Ibrahimovic.
    I had to double check that.

    Not strictly true, apparently - he ran 400m more than Valdes according to The Independent. That's still absolutely shocking.

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    I ate them before they ate me El Capitano Gatisto's Avatar
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    It's not altogether that mad if you put a bit of thought into it. Barca push extremely high up the pitch and like to put pressure deep in the opponent's half. Ibrahimovic was the target man and leading attacker. There wasn't exactly much running for him to do since he was supposed to stay high up the pitch. He was also subbed after about 60 minutes.

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    Vanquisher of Jesus Sucks
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    Lucas Radebe had 27 shots in one game Vs Charlton in 2001.

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    Simone turdpower's Avatar
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    I bet Best or McGrath have done more.

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    Whaddaya think about that 1_Pablo_Angel's Avatar
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    As of February 2011, Aston Villa had provided more England internationals than any other club, with 71
    Not that unbelievable really, considering what a bloody massive club we are, invented league football, etc etc....

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    Simone turdpower's Avatar
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    Now we know who to blame.

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    The Beast From Belarus Hlebsfall's Avatar
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    nepal
    Nicklas Bendtner is a professional footballer.

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    Joachim Low is 51 years old.

  29. #29
    Simone turdpower's Avatar
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    Conversely Kanu is about 25.

  30. #30
    Legend Badger's Avatar
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    St Johnstone got McDiarmid Park for free. Asda bought the site of their old home Muirton Park and Saints had their stadium built on farmland owned by the farmer Bruce McDiarmid in return for him having a stake in the club.

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    Is that free?

  32. #32
    Main Eventer connorboy's Avatar
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    I imagine it is for the club. The shareholders pay with a diluted holding though I imagine, unless he bought the stake off someone

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    Ironclad Contract RuneEdge's Avatar
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    I remember someone at the time mentioning that Eto'o became the first person to win the Champion's League with two different team in consecutive seasons (Barca and then Inter)
    Doesnt Pique count when we won it in 2008 in Moscow, but then lost it to Barca in Rome when he was no playing for the opposite team?

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    Simone turdpower's Avatar
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    I don't think he got a winners medal for United to be honest.

    He wasn't in the final squad.

  35. #35
    You ain't a beauty... Magnus Barelegs's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Badger View Post
    St Johnstone got McDiarmid Park for free. Asda bought the site of their old home Muirton Park and Saints had their stadium built on farmland owned by the farmer Bruce McDiarmid in return for him having a stake in the club.
    Similar with St Mirren's new stadium. Tesco bought their old ground and, as part of the deal, built their new stadium.

  36. #36
    Hell is for Heroes Second City Saint's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by RuneEdge View Post
    I remember someone at the time mentioning that Eto'o became the first person to win the Champion's League with two different team in consecutive seasons (Barca and then Inter)
    Doesnt Pique count when we won it in 2008 in Moscow, but then lost it to Barca in Rome when he was no playing for the opposite team?
    Can't be right. Before Eto'o there was:

    Marcel Desailly ('93 with Marsailles & '94 with AC Milan)
    Paulo Sousa ('96 with Juventus & '97 with Borussia Dortmund)
    Gerard Pique ('08 with Man Utd & '09 with Barcelona)

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    unbelievable stats...

    Messi's goals/games ratio over the past couple of years.

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    Francis Jeffers scored 13 goals in one half of an Everton youth team game in 1994

  39. #39
    Inter Milandy
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    How about this for a transfer record...Magath in coaching career has bought 125 players and sold 153...and lost a total of 137 million!!!

    Blimey.

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    Simone turdpower's Avatar
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    I'm going to need a source.

  41. #41
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    Tim Caple, the guy who does commentary on Eurosport.

  42. #42
    Simone turdpower's Avatar
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    Well Googling it comes up with nothing.









    Quote Originally Posted by Hobbit
    I am not a pervert.

  43. #43
    Inter Milandy
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    Ok. I presume he didn't just nick the stat from googling Magath transfer record.

    If you think he's wrong go ahead and work it out.

  44. #44
    Shit is orrrn Simon's Avatar
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    zimbabwe
    Good one from Raphael Honigstein on Football Weekly - can't verify this as I have no idea where to look, but he says Arsenal concede 980% more goals when Squillaci and Koscielny are partnered than when Djourou is involved.

  45. #45
    Stuff. Lagom's Avatar
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    I think it's pretty mental that Gareth Bale went 24 games without being on the winning side with Spurs, even more mental considering the progress he's made since then.

  46. #46
    Stuff. Lagom's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Simon View Post
    Good one from Raphael Honigstein on Football Weekly - can't verify this as I have no idea where to look, but he says Arsenal concede 980% more goals when Squillaci and Koscielny are partnered than when Djourou is involved.

    I saw Sky pick up on a similar stat last week i think, and a quick google brings up this from the turn of the year.

    http://mr-renoog-videos.blogspot.com...rong-with.html

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    Inter Milandy
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    That article is a load of shite, the guy has got his stats all wrong. Looks like he might have been saying Squillaci when he meant Koscielny or something. It's bollocks anyway.

  48. #48
    Shit is orrrn Simon's Avatar
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    I didn't have time to sit down and think about it but it does seem possible, if not particularly likely. You'd be looking at, say, Arsenal conceding 2 in 10 with Djourou in the side and 20 in 10 when he isn't. It's not as completely as mental as it sounds when you say 980%, but I'd still be surprised if it can be true.

  49. #49
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    I wouldn't be surprised if it was true. I saw a stat that was something like a league goal conceded every 54 minutes without Djourou and one every 170 minutes with him. We also haven't lost a league game Djourou has played in in over three years.

  50. #50
    BC 4 Lyfe
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    Quote Originally Posted by Andy View Post
    That article is a load of shite, the guy has got his stats all wrong. Looks like he might have been saying Squillaci when he meant Koscielny or something. It's bollocks anyway.
    Quote Originally Posted by Andy View Post
    I wouldn't be surprised if it was true. I saw a stat that was something like a league goal conceded every 54 minutes without Djourou and one every 170 minutes with him. We also haven't lost a league game Djourou has played in in over three years.

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    I wouldn't be surprised if Simon's stat is correct.

    I'm questioning the article Lagom posted.

  52. #52
    The Pride of the Midlands Prototype16's Avatar
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    Three goals from open play for us today - UN-BE-LIEVABLE!

    Peterborough's goal scoring record this season is pretty remarkable - 86 scored, 61 conceded - that's over twenty more scored than anyone else and only the teams in the bottom four have conceded more. I know loads of Peterborough fans -should really go to seem them play sometime

  53. #53
    Stuff. Lagom's Avatar
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    It'll be 0-0 if you go mate

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    Simone turdpower's Avatar
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    The Scottish Cup tie between Falkirk and Inverness Thistle in 1979 was postponed 29 times because of bad weather.

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    Window Licker MikeHunt's Avatar
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    croatia
    that cant be true.

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    Not yet dead MichaelC's Avatar
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    Window Licker MikeHunt's Avatar
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    the cup must have gone on past the season end then. unless they tried to play the game on consecutive days.

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    Given its 29 postponements in 40 days, I'd assume so.

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    Who won?

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    The fans.

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    Messi, Villa and Pedro have gone a combined 1127 mins without a goal for Barca. Yet they've won eight out of nine games + scored 19.

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    I just read this today.

    United's fifth highest transfer fee ever received (behind Ronaldo, Beckham, Stam and Veron) was for John Obi Mikel in 2006.

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    Just a recent one, Everton have won every shoot out where they have missed their first penalty.

    I think its something like we have only won one shoot out where we have scored our first penalty too.

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    STAT OF THE DAY: Since Oct 1937 #MUFC have featured a youth player in every game bar 1! (Arsenal away this year). A run of 3516 comp games.

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    Thierry Henry has scored or assisted 559 goals in his career to date, and he's only 33.

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    Double post

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    That can't be true. Absolutely impossible.

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    According to wiki:

    Monaco - 28, 37
    Juventus - 3, 2
    Arsenal - 226, 92
    Barcelona - 49, 26
    New York - 9, 7
    France - 51, 29

    Career - 366 goals, 193 assists = 559 in 797 appearances (by my math)
    Last edited by Second City Saint; June 20th, 2011 at 8:32 PM.

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    In fact, not one season has he had a greater combined goals and assists total than games (and that's WITHOUT including sub appearences)

    http://soccernet.espn.go.com/player/...-henry?cc=5739

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    doesn't include his time at Monaco, though he'd have to have averaged about 50 assists a season if that stat is correct. Unlikely.

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    Taken from this article. Took it at face value so apologies if it's wide of the mark. I do remember being amazed by his number of assists before though. The definition of 'assist' is so dodgy though.

    So far this season he has 8 goals in 13 games (4 assists too but that's a little bit irrelevent here)

    If you break down his career goals...

    - 28 goals for Monaco
    - 3 goals for Juventus
    - 226 goals for Arsenal
    - 49 goals for Barcelona
    - 9 goals for NY Red Bulls
    - 52 goals for France
    = 367 career goals

    He's 33. They're around half way through this season in the US. He probably has 2 or 3 seasons left in him. I believe they play 30 games a season plus play-offs. He needs 33 goals before he retires basically.

    On paper it looks do-able. But he's injury prone these days.

    Will he reach 400?

    It would be a very impressive total. Especially considering he was a winger for his early career

    Thierry Henry has scored more career goals than:
    Ronaldo
    Gabriel Batistuta
    Diego Maradona
    Marco Van Basten
    Ruud Van Nistelrooy
    Raul Gonzalez
    Andriy Shevchenko
    Ronaldinho
    Rivaldo
    George Weah
    Filippo Inzaghi

    As a side note, Thierry Henry in his career has assisted 192 goals. He holds the Premier League record for most assists in a single season (24). This means that he has either scored or assisted 559 goals in his career so far...

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    Quote Originally Posted by Andy View Post
    Double post
    nah don't play that shite you cunt. this post originally said 'in 443 appearances',

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    That was meant to go on the end of my first post. Then I realised I got the games wrong.

    Actually maybe I didn't.

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    Of course you got it wrong, you mong. If you genuinely believed Henry to have 559 goals and assists in 443 games then you are the most stupid person in the world.

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    He has approx. 70 more goals than Van Basten in twice as many matches, good point Andy.

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    genuinely unbelievable stat, that's for sure

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    Gah, I tried to do this too late at night. Wiki seems to give the same amount of goals and assists, roughly at least.

    The article completely misjudged the apps (or maybe typo) which is what threw me

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    797 apps, 558 goals and assists according to wiki. 33 years old. Would've been much easier to phrase it like that from the start. There's the unbelievable stat.

    If I'm wrong, abuse me in the morning.

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    I'm not sure about your stats, Andy. Going by the total career goals thing, I question whether Henry has more goals than Raul or Ronaldo. That doesn't sound right and Wikipedia suggests they both have more. Batistuta may do as well and would appear to according to Wiki.

    Won't even bother checking Rivaldo, Maradona or Ronaldinho as they spent their careers playing as attacking midfielders.

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    Yeah I realise there's a load of holes in that article, I just took the 559 which I thought was amazing. Then posted the article (well, blog post) which thoroughly confused me and everyone else. Need my bed.

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    fuck, it gets worse

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    Javier Hernandez has a combined total of 875 goals and assists in 5 games at the Gold Cup

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    But yeah, the goals and assists is correct I think. He could make 400 goals and 200 assists before 35 which is incredible.

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    It's not that incredible. Fantastic record, though.

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    Not genuinely unbelievable, though. My Jon Obi Mikel stat was better

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    Ok fine, leave me alone. I'm going to bed.

    Apparently Fabregas has more assists than Messi, Xavi and Alves in the last five years.

    Shove that stat up your bollocks if you don't like it.

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    Less trophies too

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    Fuck oooofffffffffff

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    no trophy

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    (Spain)

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    bench warmer

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    World cup winning assist

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    I'll give you that one. You know who also has a better goal scoring than Thierry Henry?

    This man:

    [ame="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0RWgaMEtIIY"]YouTube - ‪Fergie gives it some wellie‬‏[/ame]

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    Lucas has scored 987 goals and got 517 assists in 17 games!!

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    Quote Originally Posted by Keano's Magic Hat View Post
    I'll give you that one. You know who also has a better goal scoring than Thierry Henry?

    This man:

    YouTube - ‪Fergie gives it some wellie‬‏
    You know who has a better goalscoring record than him?

    Brian Clough.

    251 goals in 274 games to be precise.

    Better manager, better player.... the list goes on!

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    Ferguson has a better capacity for whiskey intake.

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    Won't be long now.

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    Ronaldo scored his 100th goal in 105 games for Madrid.

    Messi scored his 200th as part of a hat-trick last night. He's 24. He's got 10 or more years left.

    Scary.

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    Whats great is that if you only take into consideration the last 3 years (about the same amount of time Ronaldo has spent at Madrid), the stats are:

    Ronaldo: 100 goals in 105 games
    Messi: 122 goals in 125 games

    Those two are in a league of their own right now. Its mental.

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