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Thread: The Media

  1. #301
    Shit is orrrn Simon's Avatar
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    zimbabwe
    Also have there ever been rumours that Sturridge is gay? New to me, seems odd that so many of the abusive tweets towards him were homophobic.

  2. #302
    X Ringo's Avatar
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    brazil
    Yeah, I've seen gay Sturridge rumours for a few years.

    Also, Graham Hunter has a new podcast series called "The Big Interview" and the first one is with Gary Neville. Worth listening to.

  3. #303
    Shit is orrrn Simon's Avatar
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    zimbabwe
    Lawrenson on 5 Live last night: "I thought for the first 75 minutes, Bayern were the best team...certainly better than Barcelona, anyway". Well who else were you comparing them to?!

    Listened to that Neville interview Ringo, good stuff.

  4. #304
    Inter Milandy
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    Barca absolutely dominated Bayern for the first 20 minutes, thought the rest of the half was pretty even then Bayern had a good 15 minutes at the start of the second half.

  5. #305
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    zimbabwe
    Great show on 5 Live last night about Blackburn's title win 20 years ago, should be available on their website now.

  6. #306
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    Chris Sutton is the new most miserable man in football.

  7. #307
    Simone turdpower's Avatar
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    I assume most people are aware that Henry Winter is leaving the Telegraph - it was fairly common knowledge a couple of months ago.

    Anyway this was in Private Eye a couple of issues ago but only just got round to reading it:


    The exodus of top Telegraph talent continues with chief football hack Henry Winter being prised away to join the Times for a sum north of £200,000. Winter was so popular with readers, and such a mainstay of Telegraph advertising promotions, he had been locked into an 18-month notice period by chief exec Murdoch MacLennan. But nothing could persuade him to stay, and he is now negotiating an early departure. Possessed of a planet-sized ego, Winter sees himself as a "brand" in his own right, with more than a million Twitter followers. In a rage, MacLennan asked lawyers if there was any way the hack could be forced to leave his Twitter following behind at the Telegraph as it was amassed "during his lawful employment". Alas! The lawyers have told the old fool that as Winter maintained his own account, and his contract never mentioned Twitter, he can take his million-strong army wherever he wants. The normally urbane Winter reacted by telling colleagues that the Telegraph can "go fuck itself".


  8. #308
    Shit is orrrn Simon's Avatar
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    zimbabwe
    Football Weekly is doing a series of mini-documentaries over the summer, first one is about Robin Friday if anyone is interested...

    http://www.theguardian.com/football/...f-robin-friday

  9. #309
    X Ringo's Avatar
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    brazil
    Hey, check out Partick Thistle's new mascot:


  10. #310
    Drink Champion Clive Plasma's Avatar
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    It's so good.

  11. #311
    Drink Champion Clive Plasma's Avatar
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    I didn't realise it was David Shrigley who designed it?


  12. #312
    I'm always watching you.. MMH's Avatar
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    Sums it up really...

  13. #313
    I ate them before they ate me El Capitano Gatisto's Avatar
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    I've seen that going about. Has anyone actually read the articles themselves? Does he make that argument?

    The writers don't come up with the actual headlines.

  14. #314
    X Ringo's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Simon
    Football Weekly is doing a series of mini-documentaries over the summer, first one is about Robin Friday if anyone is interested...

    http://www.theguardian.com/football/...f-robin-friday
    I haven't been following these but I did listen to the Le Tissier one with Glendenning. It was enjoyable, he's a nice man. I'm guessing the fact that he's never had a pint of lager and drinks Malibu & Coke is common knowledge but I didn't know so that's fun.

  15. #315
    Simone turdpower's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by El Capitano Gatisto View Post
    I've seen that going about. Has anyone actually read the articles themselves? Does he make that argument?

    The writers don't come up with the actual headlines.
    http://www.mirror.co.uk/sport/footba...-shine-6059140

    http://www.mirror.co.uk/sport/footba...-proof-6088186

    Alas not really, but the sub editor has fucked him over, so that's fun.

  16. #316
    Shit is orrrn Simon's Avatar
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    Going to see Football Weekly live tonight. James Richardson aaaaaaaaaaaa

    Stupid Barry Glendenning rejected our offer of a pint though.

    Last edited by Simon; October 16th, 2015 at 10:51 AM.

  17. #317
    Shit is orrrn Simon's Avatar
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    zimbabwe
    I met James Richardson tonight you cunts! Yessssssssss

    Last edited by Simon; October 17th, 2015 at 8:45 AM.

  18. #318
    The Rob Lee of FC Rajah
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    You git. I only just saw this.

    Can I recommend the Football Fives Podcast. Hosted by Dan Storey of Football365, Chris Need, David Hatrick and Ryan Keeney of various other football related things (Opta, IBWM etc).

    http://www.footballfivespodcast.com/

  19. #319
    Shit is orrrn Simon's Avatar
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    zimbabwe
    Graham Hunter's podcast is great in general but his new one with Damien Duff is especially good, I always thought Duff was a thicko but he's very switched on and has plenty to say about the game, particularly Ireland. Massively recommended.

  20. #320
    Inter Milandy
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    Anyone still listen to the World Football Phone In? It's still good but Dotun has become almost intolerable. I think they only cycle through the same three or four guests now too so it's becoming a little repetitive.

  21. #321
    Shit is orrrn Simon's Avatar
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    zimbabwe
    Careful or ECG will batter you, he gets very defensive when it comes to his boyfriend Dotun Adebayo.

  22. #322
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    Bump.

    Havent listened to the Monday night club this week but last weeks was hilarious. I don't know who was worse, Chris Sutton or Robbie Savage. They are both genuinely retarded with their views of why Giggs should have got the Swansea job over Bob Bradley.

    It is a terrible situation when Danny Mills is the voice of reason.

  23. #323
    Shit is orrrn Simon's Avatar
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    zimbabwe
    Chris Sutton is a dickhead. What is the value of having someone on who is so relentlessly negative about everything? He should fuck off to Talksport where his shit opinions can at least be put to good use riling up the station's thick listeners so that they'll call the premium rate phone line to argue.

  24. #324
    Shit is orrrn Simon's Avatar
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    zimbabwe
    Also I am going to see Football Ramble live in Brighton, hooray!

  25. #325
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    Didn't know that was still going...

    My fave part of the Monday Night Club was when Savage said Bruce should be Villa manager because he lives near Birmingham

  26. #326
    Window Licker MikeHunt's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Romford Pele View Post
    Bump.

    Havent listened to the Monday night club this week but last weeks was hilarious. I don't know who was worse, Chris Sutton or Robbie Savage. They are both genuinely retarded with their views of why Giggs should have got the Swansea job over Bob Bradley.

    It is a terrible situation when Danny Mills is the voice of reason.
    Chris Sutton is the worst and needs to fuck off pronto. Im surprised he hasnt been sent a bullet yet.
    TAPS AFF!

  27. #327
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    Mediawatch did a special edition taking apart Savage's column on Bradley/Giggs, it was great. It's one thing places like Talksport hiring these people, but it's so frustrating having the BBC hire him and having him stink up all their good shows. He's thick as shit, offers useless ill-informed opinions and constantly interrupts others.

    Danny Mills might be the worst though. Always negative and possibly the least eloquent speaker I've heard. Every other work is either 'um' or 'ultimately' and he has an annoying habit of being so negative about everything that he loudly exhales and tsks before he starts speaking every time.

  28. #328
    RFF WORLDWIDE WESTERN CON son_of_foley's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Andy View Post
    Mediawatch did a special edition taking apart Savage's column on Bradley/Giggs, it was great. It's one thing places like Talksport hiring these people, but it's so frustrating having the BBC hire him and having him stink up all their good shows. He's thick as shit, offers useless ill-informed opinions and constantly interrupts others.

    Danny Mills might be the worst though. Always negative and possibly the least eloquent speaker I've heard. Every other work is either 'um' or 'ultimately' and he has an annoying habit of being so negative about everything that he loudly exhales and tsks before he starts speaking every time.
    You describe him like the pundit version of yourself.

    I like Danny Murphy he is good.

  29. #329
    Shit is orrrn Simon's Avatar
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    Mediawatch is the worst football-related analysis on the whole internet. Smug off.

    I'm a big fan of Jermaine Jenas - talks sense, doesn't dumb down, is reasonably eloquent...I could imagine him being groomed for the MOTD presenter's job for when Lineker moves on.

  30. #330
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    Sutton is hilarious and put Jenas and Chapman in their place on MOTD 2 that time when they were wanking each other off to Bravo playing a couple of easy passes with his feet. He is always negative but he's almost always right and he makes presenters and other pundits squirm because they're all just used to agreeing with each other.

  31. #331
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    zimbabwe
    But the problem is the good points he makes when he is right to be negative are just a stopped clock being right twice a day, five minutes before that he'll have found a way to make a 40 yard overhead kick into the top corner seem like a tedious waste of time.

  32. #332
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    I would usually agree about media watch being a bit shit and a parody of itself but their destruction of Savage was good.

  33. #333
    FRANK THE TANK! Peter Griffin's Avatar
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    I am also a fan of Jenas, I don't mind Sav, but that's personal bias, if there's one person I can't stand (now that Lawro has gone) it's Garth Crooks, dunno what it is, but I would love to smack him in the face.

  34. #334
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    Quote Originally Posted by wardy View Post
    Sutton is hilarious and put Jenas and Chapman in their place on MOTD 2 that time when they were wanking each other off to Bravo playing a couple of easy passes with his feet. He is always negative but he's almost always right and he makes presenters and other pundits squirm because they're all just used to agreeing with each other.
    Wtf?!

    Sutton talks a load of bollocks 99% of the time, you cant tell me you agree with his Ryan Giggs views?

  35. #335
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    Sutton is arguably the best pundit going

  36. #336
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    Quote Originally Posted by Romford Pele View Post
    Wtf?!

    Sutton talks a load of bollocks 99% of the time, you cant tell me you agree with his Ryan Giggs views?
    What are his Ryan Giggs views?

  37. #337
    Shit is orrrn Simon's Avatar
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    zimbabwe
    Quote Originally Posted by Darkoke View Post
    Sutton is arguably the best pundit going
    Don't be ridiculous. He's an embarrassment.

  38. #338
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    Quote Originally Posted by wardy View Post
    What are his Ryan Giggs views?
    That he should have got the job despite having no managerial experience and a shit interview

  39. #339
    Window Licker MikeHunt's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by wardy View Post
    Sutton is hilarious and put Jenas and Chapman in their place on MOTD 2 that time when they were wanking each other off to Bravo playing a couple of easy passes with his feet. He is always negative but he's almost always right and he makes presenters and other pundits squirm because they're all just used to agreeing with each other.
    Quote Originally Posted by Darkoke View Post
    Sutton is arguably the best pundit going
    TAPS AFF!

  40. #340
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    In terms of TV punditry for Scottish football I think he is. BT's coverage of it in general far surpasses Sky's.

  41. #341
    RFF WORLDWIDE WESTERN CON son_of_foley's Avatar
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    I went to Football Weekly doing a live show this week. Thought it was balls. Nice to see James Richardson though

  42. #342
    Shit is orrrn Simon's Avatar
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    zimbabwe
    Which pundits were there? The one I saw was great fun, but I guess it depends on what stories are in the news at the time. Did you speak to Jimbo afterwards? I love him.

  43. #343
    RFF WORLDWIDE WESTERN CON son_of_foley's Avatar
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    Barry Glendinning, Iain McIntosh and Jon Ashdown.

    It sort of just descended into talking about Alan Pardew for like 20 minutes

  44. #344
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    What has Stan Collymore got against Pep Guardiola? Really has it in for him for some reason.

  45. #345
    Shit is orrrn Simon's Avatar
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    zimbabwe
    That's almost the same as mine except we had Paul MacInnes instead of Jon Ashdown. Shame you didn't enjoy it, I'll definitely be going again next time they're down here. I can't remember if I mentioned it but I saw the Football Ramble live show, another one I'd recommend if you like the podcast. It was a more structured, written show than the FW which really was just a live version of the normal, topical show, but it was great fun.

  46. #346
    What'cha gonna do? Alex's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Romford Pele View Post
    What has Stan Collymore got against Pep Guardiola? Really has it in for him for some reason.
    He doesn't. He's the most reasoned pundit out there with regards to Guardiola. What he has achieved has been hugely impressive and he has proven himself as a great manager but there are still question marks and flaws surrounding his management style and tactical nous. The gushing from other members of the media is well over the top.

    Collymore is also the first mainstream journalist I've seen to mention the big elephant in the room with regards to Guardiola's teams.

  47. #347
    Shit is orrrn Simon's Avatar
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    zimbabwe
    Journaleest! Journaleest!

  48. #348
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    Stan Collymoreís column for the Daily Mirror and MirrorFootball on the form of Pep Guardiolaís Manchester City hit a raw nerve with the manager when it was brought up at Tuesday's press conference.

    Our man wrote "if Guardiola thinks heís going to turn up and outplay everybody in the Premier League and that teams like Watford, Leicester, Bournemouth, Southampton and Crystal Palace are going to let his Manchester City side have the ball for 90 per cent of the time and pass pretty patterns around them so they can get a result, then he is absolutely deluded.

    ďIn fact, he is beyond deluded. And if he thinks he doesnít need to teach tackling or one-on-one combat in training then heíll be going back to Spain with his tail between his legs.Ē

    Guardiola's response: "Stan Collymore?" Collymore has his say here....

    I had to have a belly laugh at the posts from blogs and websites getting giddy that Pep Guardiola, when asked about my MirrorFootball column, looked puzzled and asked: "Stan Collymore?Ē

    Theyíve had a field day, gleefully saying ďhe doesnít know who you are etcĒ which, bearing in mind most of these journalists wouldnít be recognised in their own front room, makes it even funnier.

    If Pep doesnít know who I am, thatís absolutely fine, all he needs to do is watch Sky Sports, thereís usually the 4-3 game (Liverpool vs Newcastle, 1996) on, or used in an advert.

    Maybe he could give the former manager of his current club, Stuart Pearce, a call and ask him about who Nottingham Forestís greatest 11 is, managed by a true great of the game, rather than one spoon fed lots of cash to get success.

    Or ask Robbie Fowler, Liverpool legend, and someone Iím sure Pep knows the name of, who his best strike partner was amongst Owen, Rush, Viduka, Shearer, Cole et al.

    To be fair, managers like Pep get lots of questions from some journalists being sneaky and a maybe a little devious and get put on the back foot - such as Klopp vs Neville the other day.

    Managers under pressure like to have a pop back, and as far as Iím concerned Iím as fair game as anyone.

    So if a manager feels Iím irrelevant, doesnít know who I am or dismisses me, thatís absolutely fine.

    Itís the equivalent of me questioning, like a lot of fans and even Man City fans recently, Pepís ability in England to put a defence together worthy of the name.

    Or a goalkeeper worthy of keeping out Englandís No.1 on the basis that ďheís not a great footballerĒ - he doesnít have to be, he just needs to make saves Pep!

    And to all of those bloggers and journos laughing in Pepís press conference today at my expense, Iíve won awards in YOUR industry and have a 15-year playing career to back it up.

    If Pep genuinely dismisses me, just imagine what he thinks of you!

    Iím comfortable not being known by Pep - Brian Clough knew who I was and rated me highly.

    He was a double European Cup winner who did it from scratch, not from an Abu Dhabi or Qatar silver spoon.

    Iíll make sure I state my name, National Union of Journalists' number and full address when Iím next at the Etihad, just in case Pep, just in case.
    This is hilariously petty.

    Man City have played the best football of anyone this season, I still have them as favourites for the title and there's no doubt Pep has improved some players hugely already (Sterling and Fernandinho especially).

  49. #349
    What'cha gonna do? Alex's Avatar
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    Man City favourites for the title?


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    Quote Originally Posted by Andy View Post
    This is hilariously petty.

    Man City have played the best football of anyone this season, I still have them as favourites for the title and there's no doubt Pep has improved some players hugely already (Sterling and Fernandinho especially).
    Fernandinho has always been good. Sterling has been rubbish for a couple of months. I think it's fair to say Guardiola has made no difference to either of them so far.

  51. #351
    What'cha gonna do? Alex's Avatar
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    Guardiola is Andy's form fairy.

  52. #352
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    Guardiola would probably be getting more flak if it wasn't for Mourinho being a bigger target. In saying that, having a go at any manager 3 months into the job seems a bit much, unless they are making an utter pig ear's of it. Guardiola will be beaten up in the media about getting rid of Joe Hart, more than anything else, but I still think it was a smart thing to do both because he wasn't that good a keeper and he's a loudmouth.

    He's had no effect on City's results so far, but he is trying to change the way they play. It seems as if getting at least a season before having a go at him would be the minimum. Nowadays there is an industry around talking about football and not enough actual football to justify it, which is why we have this atmosphere which would have been considered "European" about 10 years ago of expecting managers to be successful instantly and discarding them instantly when things go wrong.

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    Getting rid of Hart isn't the issue, as you say he isn't that good, not for where City want to be. The issue is replacing him with an inferior keeper who doesn't even seem to be good at the one thing he was specifically bought for. While he's less blatant about it than Mourinho, Guardiola does seem to like going in and getting rid of the big personalities - at Barca it was Ronaldinho, Deco and Eto'o and everyone accepted the idea that it was because they'd gone big time and were becoming disruptive...maybe in retrospect that was an easy excuse and he actually just likes getting rid of anyone who he sees a threat to his way of playing.

    Luke on the Football Ramble made a good point in today's episode, that the shittier end of the British media seem desperate to take him down a peg or two and have massively jumped the gun - City are a point off second, will probably finish in the top two and only a few weeks ago were everyone's picks to run away with it. He's introducing a completely new style of play to the side and doesn't really have the players for it yet (Clichy/Kolarov/Zabaleta/Sagna at centre back for example). No doubt in my mind that he'll be a success, all this Fraudiola stuff is laughable - finishing in the top three in Spain might be easy, but winning the league certainly isn't, let alone winning literally everything there is to win in one season.
    Last edited by Simon; December 16th, 2016 at 7:37 AM.

  54. #354
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    Claudio Bravo is an excellent keeper who has had a bad start. He'll be fine. He's much better than Joe Hart.

  55. #355
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    As a gang of ageing, fat arseholes like me, you might be interested in this new podcast starting soon

    https://www.quicklykevin.com/

    Great name.

  56. #356
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    Nice.

    I know it has been on twitter and the like, but has anyone seen Martin Keown's stupid comments on Monday when Craig Eastmond tacked Mo Eleny?

  57. #357
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    What did he say? I heard people were digging him out but didn't notice what he said.

  58. #358
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  60. #360
    World Champion Murphy's Avatar
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    Bloody love James Richardson.

  61. #361
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    First podcast of "The Totally Show" starts next Monday.

    Think it'll be Max taking over Football Weekly?

  62. #362
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    The Jimmy Armfield interview on the 5Live podcast is absolutely superb.

  63. #363
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    I love Jimmy Armfield, he is both a great pundit even nowadays in his 80s, and a nice reminder of when I was a kid listening to the radio all the time. Him, Ron Jones (retired I think?) and Alan Green were great back then.

  64. #364
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    Yeah he's great. I want to be his mate.

  65. #365
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    I've listened to the totally football show a few times, quality massively depends on the guests. McIntosh is an awful try hard dick head.

  66. #366
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    McIntosh is ok, I could do without him crowbarring in his little sayings ('thunderbastard' got old really quickly) but he is at least passionate and positive about the game generally.

    Not sure if people are aware but The Football Ramble now have a European football show called On The Continent, subbing out Jim and Pete for Andy Brassell (who is great) and James Horncastle.

  67. #367
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    The Totally Football Show has been a bit underwhelming to be honest. I think all they have done is created two sub-par podcasts from one really good one. Julien Laurens, Horncastle and Raphael Honigstein are grand, Michael Cox is a fucking gimp and Kelly Dalglish is a presenter, not a journalist. I find myself still enjoying Football Weekly, Max Rushden isn't that bad and the regular Guardian journos tend to be quite good, as well as Jonathon Wilson and Philippe Auclair. It would be better if they still had Honigstein and Horncastle on there.

  68. #368
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    Have to agree that the split has left two shows that aren't really must-listen. The Football Ramble is the only topical football show I listen to now.

    In other news, John Motson is retiring at the end of this season. He's something of an institution but I can't say I'll miss him all that much - he's not the car crash some people make out, but nor does he add anything to games. The BBC should get Barry Davies out of retirement to cover all the big games Motson got which led to him fucking football off in the first place

  69. #369
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    Said it before on this but Motson on the Monday Night Club is amazing value. Think he's very bright and has some great insight

  70. #370
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    Yes very true, he's much better in that role. Same with David Pleat. Both seem to dumb it down for TV.

  71. #371
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    Anyone listened to the new 5Live European show? Seems like it should be good based on who's on it.

  72. #372
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    My problem with football weekly vs the totally football show is that I can't be arsed to listen to both and they're both talking about the same shit.

    It's made all more annoying by the fact neither is amazing as last years Guardian one.

    It's like when BT appeared from nowhere and bought loads of TV rights. Great, now I have to pay more money (money is time in this analogy).

  73. #373
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    Anyone listening to Lineker and Baker: Behind Closed Doors?

    Utter brilliance. I had forgotten how funny Danny Baker is!

  74. #374
    What'cha gonna do? Alex's Avatar
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    Reech and I are going to Guardian Football Weekly Live tomorrow which I haven't listened to since 2012 because I hate Glendenning (but would love to go for a pint with)

  75. #375
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    Quote Originally Posted by Romford Pele View Post
    Anyone listening to Lineker and Baker: Behind Closed Doors?

    Utter brilliance. I had forgotten how funny Danny Baker is!

    Great stuff. The Peter Crouch podcast is fantastic too, he seems like such a nice chap.

  76. #376
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    Crouch is the fucking man. I must read his book. And listen to these podcasts, it seems.

  77. #377
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    https://www.football365.com/news/f36...r-tv-and-radio

    This is a great read, emphasising all the best things about football media in 2018. Well worth a look, I particularly agree about Monday Night Club (and the Friday preview) on 5 Live, fantastic analysis without feeling heavy.

  78. #378
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    No mention of Andy Brassell's superb At The Match podcast aside from one reader comment. That's been my favourite podcast this year. Also been enjoying Horncastle and Brassell on On The Continent with the Ramble's Marcus and Luke and Golazzo with Horncastle, James Richardson and Gab Marcotti. Some of the tales of the madmen from Italian football's past have been a real treat.

  79. #379
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    Quote Originally Posted by Murphy View Post
    Crouch is the fucking man. I must read his book. And listen to these podcasts, it seems.
    I'm reading his book at the moment - it's entertaining enough and he comes across as a nice, normal bloke, but the amount of crossover material with the free podcasts might make it more worthwhile to just go with the pods. Half the chapters are the same titles as the podcast episodes - Cars, Dressing Rooms, Fashion etc. Like I said though I'm still enjoying it, it's not got much depth to it but it's decent...it's sort of like a watered-down version of The Secret Footballer but with less mystery - the stories aren't as controversial, but you do actually get told who they're about. Exciting revelations like Christian Eriksen having a hair transplant, Arnold Mvuemba being the most talented player not to have made it, Robert Huth taking smelly shits and John Paintsil being a cast-iron lunatic.

    A guy on another forum I post on has been doing a superb job of summarising Neil Warnock's autobiography (which, by the way, you can get as an audiobook READ BY WARNOCK HIMSELF which sounds amazing), I've no idea how much creative license he's taking but it is great fun. This is the first few chapters, highlights in bold.

    --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

    The Gaffer - The Trials And Tribulations Of A Football Manager is Neil Warnock's account of his time as Palace, QPR and Leeds manager. We begin at Palace.

    Chapter One: Life In Administration

    Neil begins with an account of flying from Gatwick to Newcastle, and landing with the team to find out the club is in administration. He then discusses how, when back in London, he 'found himself talking to the deer in Richmond Park, which was probably a warning sign - even if it was a magnificent stag!' There follows a humdrum discussion of the first post-administration transfer window, and the first of many bete-noires, an administrator by the name of Mr Guilfoyle. Neil shafts him by playing Danny Butterfield up front.

    'I had four chairman at Scarborough, and I often joked that I was the first manager to give a chairman a vote of no confidence. In fact, one died, one was Geoffrey Richmond who later over-reached himself at Bradford City, and one went to prison.'

    'Now at Palace, I was working for an administrator who wanted his name in the paper, and it was doing my head in.' Neil struggles to comprehend how administrators and creditors do not necessarily have the 1st eleven winning matches as their number one priority. He moves onto a charming account of his early playing career (the narrative is unconventional), pointing out that his 300 league games across eight clubs is evidence that 'I wasn't rubbish, but managers wanted to buy me but not keep me.'

    Neil reminds us of his chiropodist practice, which he established in his non-league days, and reveals he once treated either Tommy Smith or Joey Barton for an ingrowing toenail whilst at QPR, but won't say which, the coy bastard!

    He reminisces that his first management gig came about when 'a bunch of scruffy urchins who used to play on the green in Seaton Carew where I lived' whilst at Hartlepool knocked on his door, asking for him to coach them. Neil recounts running down the touchline and celebrating at the corner flag after a corner routine came off in his second match in charge. The buzz never left him.

    'I wasn't going to be offered a top job, because of who I am.'

    Neil then chunters about the value of age. He and Harry Redknapp often laugh about 'the latest young gun' with 'all of their qualifications'. It isn't a surprise that most good managers are over 60. Neil played in 'Arry's last league game in England. 'I'll have to remind him next time I see him'. Neil's first match at Scarborough (his 3rd club) was home to Wolverhampton, whose fans nearly killed him with a coke can full of sand. 'I think they're going to put houses on Scarborough's ground now.'


    ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

    Chapter 2:

    A shorter precis of Chapter 2 from Warnock:

    - Neil took Sharon and his son, William, to his job interview at QPR. 'We were shown into a drawing room (or parlour, depending on your background).'

    - 'I'm good at interviews, as you might expect, but not infallible.'

    - A few grumbles about pay, most of which boil down to Neil not having checked his con(e)tracts.

    - Neil claims that having shaken on the deal to manage QPR, he turned down an unspecified Premier League club (Neil holds the mic away from him when reciting the Premier League club parts of this conversation, which is a nice touch).

    - 'I always start my first training session with a match, 2 big goals, 40 yards apart, ten a side and shin pads on. If anyone doesn't head a ball when it's there to be headed, I give a foul. If people bottle tackles, I give a foul. These days, you couldn't do it at Premier League level, they'd just walk off.'

    - Neil says he would normally 'bomb out a lad like Adel Taraabt on day one, because he is not an English pro' but he had a hunch it might work out.



    Chapter 3

    - Neil begins by wanking off about Alejandro Faurlin, and then compares himself to Yul Brynner in Magnificent Seven, having to recruit a 'band of brothers'.

    - Neil claims Heidar Helgusson was the best striker in the Championship.

    - Neil bemoans Ronaldinho for not tracking back for Milan in a 4-0 defeat at Old Trafford, and says the only player in the world that he would allow to get away with this is Adel Taraabt.

    - First summer window at QPR - Neil signed Taraabt, Paddy Kenny (QPR told Neil he couldn't sign him as 'he'd been done for taking drugs', but Neil 'was distraught' and smoothed things over with the board - 'he'd just been taking something for a cold'),Shaun Derry and Clint Hill from Palace, and finally Jamie Mackie ('he made a great sub, but he was also worth picking from the start').

    - Neil remembers signing a lad called Paul Harding who 'was a lovable rogue come out of non-league and was living in a caravan when I found him'. Gazza elbowed him in the FA Cup Quarter Final, but the ref didn't send him off. Gazza scord the winner and then did his knee in the Final. 'A lot of things could have been different if the referee had done his job that day.'

    - Neil claims he signed a lad called Gary Clayton for Huddersfield and Plymouth 'because he made me smile'.

    - About Ronnie Mauge - 'On the pitch he didn't take any prisoners, but off it he nearly became one. I was a character witness, and told the judge I'd be prepared to let him live in my home if he granted bail... Ronnie was good as gold at home, and Sharon loved him. After a time doing my domestic chores, the penny dropped and he sorted his life out. Wonderful lad. Managers love changing rogues.'

    - An example of a failed rogue was Ashley Sestanovich, who Neil signed because 'he looked so much like Thierry Henry, he had been a body double for him in an advertisement'. He got 8 years in jail for a failed robbery where a man was killed.

    - Sorry, Neil then immediately jumps to a discussion of motorway service stations - 'there was a time I could have told you what the coffee tasted like at Knutsford, how hot the pies were at Membury, and how clean the toilets were at Woodhall'. Oh it's to do with scouting for players, which Neil did himself until Notts County.

    - Neil bemoans 'the foreign aspect' and 'DVDs'.

    - Now he moves onto his trips abroad to scout players. The central anecdote surrounds him getting served shit coffee at a Polish league game near the Russian border. The player he was scouting got sent off early doors, but 'it wasn't a completely wasted journey. On the way back to Warsaw, we stopped off and had one of the longest sausages I'd ever seen. A giant hot dog, which cost about a million Polish zloty.'

    - Neil claims he went to scout Alpay in a World Cup playoff in 'the Fenerbahce stadium' but ended up in the home fans section and had his phone lifted by 'some bearded bloke'. In order to blend in, he waved a Turkish flag above his head.

    - 'I also got pickpocketed in Vietnam when I went to watch a Chinese player for Sheffield United. A wizened old lady bumped into me and took my wallet.'

    - Neil sounds a bit sad at having turned down Bobby Zamora, then spending £1m on Akinbiyi and Geoff Horsfield.
    Last edited by Simon; January 30th, 2019 at 6:18 AM.

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