The few pages in the scripts book were fucking hilarious. Looking forward to this.
The few pages in the scripts book were fucking hilarious. Looking forward to this.
look at somebody like Eamon Holmes and I think, you poor man, you just don't get it, do you? Just another of these sad celebrities sitting in their metal kitchens for money. It's a cry for help, surely. What is it with these people and their need to show off their possessions in magazines? Noel Edmunds – the thick man's Richard Branson – buys a helicopter, thinks he's Christ.
Of course there are famous people out there who are more down to earth. Paul McCartney does a nine to five. Writes his songs at his desk, dashes off a few letters to the terminally ill, has a tuna bap, sees his accountant and goes for a walk. Arnold Schwarzenegger spends five minutes a night going over his desk diary. Warren Beatty has an English Pub in his house. He had it built about nine years ago. Hasn't actually used it since 1996. Ex-Deep Purple guitarist Ritchie Blackmore likes nothing better than to sit down with his collection of episodes of Hettie Wainthrop Investigates. Says it takes his head to another place, away from rock.
It's amazing how careers can just take a downturn. A friend of mine who works a BP garage says he served Gary Davies the ex-Radio 1 DJ. And get this – the man looked awful. Had a sleeping bag in his car. What's going on there? Matthew Pinsent is doing poster adverts for insurance companies, dressed in his old rowing gear. But there's no boat. He's not rowing. Not rowing but drowning. And making a few quid. Good luck to you, Matt. Better than selling your medals I suppose.
And it was with dark thoughts like this that I found myself considering suicide. Was my career sunk as Pinsent's? I say there in the car, with the garden hose attached to the exhaust pipe with two 3X2 bulldog grips, Vangelis on the CD. It had been a dark day. My Toblerone addiction was out of control. I'd got up in the middle of the night and stuffed a whole Toblerone, not a small one, into my mouth. Spewed up in a thermos. No prizes for guessing what I did with that. I threw it away.
Dark, dark days. My divorce had just come through. Awful business. I'd been forced to cite her drink problem as part of the grounds. You meet a lady in a lovely red dress and you marry her. And out come the jogging bottoms and the whisky miniatures. She secreted sherry. I'm not saying she sweated sherry. Well, she did in the end.
I'd tried everything to raise my spirits. I went to Legoland to get my head together. You need a day. It was more than I could do to stop myself from kicking over a large lego robot who in my twisted mind had become the chief commissioning editor of the BBC.
I took a Ryanair flight to Stuttgart, £10 return, just to try and clear my thoughts and make some sense of it all. I was depressed. I stared into the abyss. And then I saw a chaffinch in the summer sun, pecking at a discarded beefburger, and I thought, he's not trying to throw himself off a cliff. And I just drove home, with the garden hose trailing from the exhaust pipe like a giant mouse's tail. Stopped off at a place called Buffalo Bills. They've got old shell pumps and photos of a young Malcolm Brando from It's the Waterfront. Don't look for it. It's not there. It's Carpetland. And I never looked back, even when I found the lump. It turned out to be a knot in my vest. Now I've bounced back I don't wear vests.
During the live tour he did sometime ago, he was doing motivational speeches off of the back of a second book called Bouncing Back 2: The Relapse.
[ame="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f5nyE7nvW2E&feature=player_embedded"]I, Partridge: We Need To Talk About Alan - YouTube[/ame]
Amazing line in there
PLEASE PLEASE make it so Steve Coogan goes on various chat shows as Partridge.
I'd love it if he did an audiobook version too.
I think you're in luck, Alf. This was on twitter a couple of nights ago:
Aiannucci: Alan Partridge has now recorded the audio version of his forthcoming autobiography.
YES! Would be absolutely criminal not to get that instead of the book.
I'VE PIERCED MY FOOT ON A SPIIIIIIIIIIKE!
Partridge is officially on Twitter now @thisispartridge.
It's already pretty funny and better than the fake one.
How do you sey fire tocyohr hadns?????
Amazing. AMAZING.Originally Posted by Alex
Mate of mine just got his email read out on the Dave Gorman podcast:
http://tinyurl.com/5sxwq9n
Jesus Christ....
Fuck!
Definitely going.
I'll be there. Jesus christ.
I might take him a cup of beans with a sausage in it.
The tweets he has made about his demands are hilarious.
Fucking hell, why do I live nowhere near Norwich or London?
Yep I'm definatly there
Fuck, I wish I could make this
Coogan is appearing as Alan Partridge on Wossy's new show a week on Saturday
RAJAH PARTRIDGE MEET
I love the fact that the only person he follows on Twitter is Shakira
Love the fact he's following Shakira on twitter too.
Has anyone noticed that he's only following Shakira on Twitter? Amazing
Did anyone catch his last live show?
Ridiculously over-priced and 50% terrible.
The Partridge part was actually brilliant though, it's amazing how far off the mark he can be with other characters.
Definitely going to the signing. EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
I went to his last one. It was about 40 quid a ticket including the admin fees.
Double the price of anyone I've seen and not double the value. The partridge bit was the whole second half which half made up for it.
paul and pauline calf were good on the last tour and partridge was brilliant. the rest was shite t average, however i would pay to go again.
It wasn't great, other than Partridge. I do find myself occasionally singing "Everyone's a bit of a cunt sometimes" in the shower though.
did he do Tony Ferrino?
Nope.
[ame="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y8LYiNv5CQE"]Alan Partridge Live 2009 Part 1 - YouTube[/ame]
[ame="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FjLuPPt85r4"]Alan Partridge Live 2009 Part 2 - YouTube[/ame]
[ame="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ikq-Mq8Zd8Y"]Alan Partridge Live 2009 Part 3 - YouTube[/ame]
There's the Alan segment if you hadn't already seen it. Genuinely funny, and the best part of the night. It's ridiculous how fully formed and workable this character is, yet his others seemed to just fall apart.
"But as I was sitting there, enjoying the good life, my mind drifted back to that time five years earlier when I shat my pants in PC World"
Watching the outtakes of mid morning matters and reading the twitter you can see how fully in the character he is. Beautiful stuff.
I downloaded Tony Ferrino: An Introduction last night. Fabulous stuff.
Just bought the book. Read the first ten or so pages and its incredible.
""Why my parents never had more kids I dont know, thoughas a youngster id often lie in bed wondering. Maybe it was financial reasons, Maybe id burst mums cervix, Maybe dad had just perfected the withdrawl method."
What with Fifa coming out I completely forgot.
He's on Jonathan Ross tonight as Partridge. Hopefully it'll be amazing.
v. excited
Already brilliant.
Haha, my girlfriend is tutting at me cos I'm laughing like an idiot and she keeps saying that he isnt even doing anything.
ahahaha, grudging acceptance of the motorcycle stunt
I'd love to fall face first into Tulisa's tits.
feverishly fixed them aorund a bit on the way out of the green room there, the gorgeous fucking dirty cunt UUNNGNGGGNNGNGNG
I hate women.
She has no idea just how good he is.
can't wait to see Tulisa walking off here with her arse and everything
Hahaha, every time the camera is on him he's pulling a Partridge face.
I'm taking a half day to get the book signed on Tuesday Mik. A half day ffs.
I wish things happened in Scotland
His face eating the chips. Agash.
Get me one done!
Brilliant already.
I think he might be reading autocue.
I remember going to see him live and he had the script written on his hand.
He's not reading an autocue. The interview is clearly rehearsed though.
I think a fair few of his main ideas were autocued.
IMO.
did you expect anything less? something is bound to happen to make him looking like a total prick. looking forward to watching this when i return from work in the morning.
I expected him not to glance at the camera every few seconds.
either way, that was excellent. Superb stuff.
mn napufhiwehf textbook
bit with McGregor was stupendous
having not seen it i can't judge. but it sounds like a very partridge thing to do, quick glance at the camera every few seconds.
Just saw it, brilliant brilliant stuff.
How in the hell did Mik's missus not get it? Fix her Mik.
She just doesn't get Partridge. doesn't find him funny. I'm going to fix her alright, permanently.
just bought the audio book, as i know someone will get me the book for x-mas. what a brilliant idea to have partridge read the book. well worth the £10 on top of the book.
I should probably clarify that I do not intend murdering my girlfriend. Just in case this ever gets brought up against me.
My other half was in pieces.
Because I murdered her.
I'm actually more into the idea of the audio book than the actual book.
"Smelly Alan Partridge" jesus christ funny as fuck.
Fartridge.
I hope Partridge weaves stories about his appearance on Jonathan Ross and how Gary Barlow is his new best mate in his future stuff.
Anyway - FURTHER ANALYSIS POST HASTE MIKE HUNT!
i stop listening about an hour ago. got through about 40 mins, it lasts about 7 hours, it is fucking brilliant fanny just buy it.
gonnae
if anyone has the book, but doesn;t want to pay for the audio version then you can download it (torrent) here.
http://thepiratebay.org/torrent/6715...8Unabridged%29
i'll be at the book signing on tuesday lads. i'll try and get a half day, anyone fancy a beer beforehand?
416 minutes. I am going to look like a raving lunatic on the bus.
I'm going to try, somehow, to stop myself reading or listening to this before I go to Vegas at the end of the year. This will make the plane journey pass very quickly.
The start of chapter 5 is just beautiful. Perfect.
The delivery makes it.
hahahahahahahah"if you are a lady and don't shave your pits you look like a ruddy bloke"
YES Tuesday superb.
Last edited by BBF; October 3rd, 2011 at 1:39 PM.
I cannot wait for tomorrow
Im going but why the fuck would you go for a beer beforehand. at 11??? Hes is only signing for an hour. 30 seconds each person means 120 people max. When I went to get my book signed by Bret Hart it took two hours to get seen after his slot start, and I got there at 3...
He was just keeping it open for Fanny.
does that mean he likes me???? I hope he likes me.
So what time are you getting there?
Has anyone been listening to the audiobook? It's fucking FANTASTIC. So, so many great lines in it. I'm only about an hour in so far, it's incredible to think there's another six hours to come. The standard is up there with anything from the Partridge canon. Coogan still has the performance nailed and the writing from Iannucci, the Gibbon brothers and the rest is spot on. It is, in the words of Shakin' Stevens, "lovely stuff".
Are any of you arseholes going then today?
he's just tweeted that the signing's been moved to 5pm today, fyi
I am in the queue. A dozen people here already. Signing has been brought forward to 5pm going until 7. As I speak a few are joining.
pic of you and Partridge, obviously
thats just silly, i'll be there at 4, and chance my arm. i'll go to chinatown and have some duck if not.
fuck standing there for 4 hours mate. have a word.
Rosk, you have to stand with the book next to him and recreate the Bouncing Back cover stance.
Im with one of my best friends sitting outside with a slab of lager. Just gone to get McDonalds. Wheeeee.
Rosk, save me a space please pal. Thanks.
Nah, tickets are being handed out. Unlucky.
I'm not going to be there until 5 at the earliest. No point going is there really...
i wouldnt queue for 4 hours for a blow job from alfs old girl.
i'll have a wander round at 3:30 and see whats what
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