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Thread: The Beer Monster hates entertainment

  1. #1
    Not asleep The Beer Monster's Avatar
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    The Beer Monster hates entertainment

    I quite enjoyed hating all the albums people suggested for Rosk's music club thread, so I thought it might be fun to hate some other stuff.
    Feel free to suggest some music, TV or film you think I might enjoy hating and I'll give it a review. I won't do books though, there isn't enough time in my life to read stuff I like, let alone hate.
    I may pop my own things in here that I didn't like when I come across them as well.
    If you suggest something I end up enjoying though, you lose the game, and thus your dignity, but that's the gamble.

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    Donde esta la biblioteca Pablo Diablo's Avatar
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    canada
    So for clarification are we supposed to choose something we like, but think you'll hate?

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    World Champion Donald's Avatar
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    Try being positive instead of a negative Nancy.

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    شهادة مكتوبة Fro's Avatar
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    Review the new Eminem album "Music to Be Murdered By"

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    OBJECTION Psycho666Soldier's Avatar
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    Review Anal Cunt's I Like It When You Die. Make sure you read the lyrics as you listen.

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    I Went To America Gangers's Avatar
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    Sucker Punch (2011). Enjoy...or not.

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    The Thinking Man's Idiot Simmo Fortyone's Avatar
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    Letterkenny. Just watch episode one and see what you think.

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    Not asleep The Beer Monster's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Pablo Diablo View Post
    So for clarification are we supposed to choose something we like, but think you'll hate?
    Doesn’t have to be something you like.


    Quote Originally Posted by Donald View Post
    Try being positive instead of a negative Nancy.
    Where’s the fun in that?


    Quote Originally Posted by Fro View Post
    Review the new Eminem album "Music to Be Murdered By"
    This should be good.


    I’ll stick the rest on my to do list.

  9. #9
    I Went To America Gangers's Avatar
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    Beauty and the Beast (2017)

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    World Champion Murphy's Avatar
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    yugoslavia
    Ooh, I recorded that at Christmas, Gangers. Any good? To you?

    I usually love shit like that.

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    Not asleep The Beer Monster's Avatar
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    I’ll like hating that.

    Still getting through the Emenemem album.

  12. #12
    I Went To America Gangers's Avatar
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    I've never seen it but I guarantee it's fucking dreck.

  13. #13
    World Champion Donald's Avatar
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    Dan Stevens is a fine actor though.

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    Not asleep The Beer Monster's Avatar
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    Beauty and The Beast (2017)
    (I’d already seen this unfortunately)

    “Here lads I’ve got a great idea to make money, you know all them films we already made? Well, I Have cunning plan…”

    Just stop it you greedy Mouse bastard. Cartoons are great, real people trying to be cartoons are shit (Jim Carrey a possible exclusion, sometimes)
    For a while Disney seemed like they were going to do something nice and modern and update their own cannon, see Tangled or Maleficent. Someone at Disney obviously watched Wicked and thought it was bloody good take on a well-known story. And they weren’t wrong.
    Then they stopped trying to have original thoughts and started shitting out lazy live action remakes of all their films.
    Which pretty much means they have to animate a load of stuff.
    Disney now own all of entertainment, and all of entertainment isn’t benefiting from this.
    This film specifically is wrong for several reasons:
    A) When you hire a famous actor who isn’t French and make him do a French accent, it will be shit. It will just sound like Ewan McGregor doing an accent. There are I believe several million French people, some of them are actors, some of those actors are well known, Some people are even Canadian, were they all busy?
    B) Now I’m not saying this, but it’s an opinion I have heard expressed that perhaps, now remember this isn’t me, but perhaps Hermione wosname isn’t actually that good looking. That in fact this film is called Beauty and the Beast and not Bang Average and the beast or in fact Perfectly acceptable looking and the Beast, so she was miscast.
    4) Still fails to address the fact that keeping people prisoner in your castle is not the path to true love. We’ve all tried it, it never works.

    Lastly, people went to see this film, they paid money, enough money that Disney decided to keep shitting out their own remakes and that included Aladdin, which was really, really shit and everyone in it looked embarrassed.

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    World Champion Murphy's Avatar
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    yugoslavia
    Can't wait to watch it.

  16. #16
    I Went To America Gangers's Avatar
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    I think you were slightly kind to be honest

  17. #17
    Not asleep The Beer Monster's Avatar
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    Nearly finished my Ememenemem review. Should be up tomorrow. I know you're all excited.

  18. #18
    شهادة مكتوبة Fro's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by The Beer Monster View Post
    Nearly finished my Ememenemem review. Should be up tomorrow. I know you're all excited.


    sorry if I led you to review an album most of the forum has no interest in and hasn't heard .... there's not a huge hip hop fandom on this wrestling site, and Em is old as hell now. but he still moves units. anyway I'm interested to hear your thoughts.

  19. #19
    Not asleep The Beer Monster's Avatar
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    Music To Be Murdered By, Eminem (2020)

    First things first, young Marshall here is the artist responsible for this abomination:

    “Now you get to watch her leave,
    Out the window,
    guess that's why they call it window pane”

    The single worst lyric in the history of rap.
    Actually scratch that, the single worst lyric in music.
    A close second for worst lyric in case you are wondering belongs to Athlete with:

    “Down corridors,
    Through, automatic doors.”

    For the crime of a terrible rhyme. It doesn’t rhyme it’s just essentially saying the same word twice.
    This lyric is unforgivable and as such everything ol’ Slim Shady releases from now on is tainted by this lyric and therefore worse. So he’s starting on the back foot with this album.
    Second things second, Eminem’s voice, it’s not very good is it? He is in fact a whiny sounding bitch. He’s the Hip Hop Bullet for my Bowl of Soup Day. And he’s angry.
    Still.
    20 years he’s been really angry now, and he’s still not calmed down. We all know a lot of rap is an incredibly juvenile art form about who’s got the biggest dick, but it doesn’t all have to be angry bitching at people does it? At least he’s actually not banging on about all his guns and actually seems to be trying to comment on violence with this album. That’s a plus.
    Which goes some way to eradicating our “window pane.” Not a long way mind.
    Fourthly, has a rapper ever done an album on their own?
    Has a rapper ever done an album without stupid skits or intros?
    No.
    And Eminem’s not about to start either.
    Imagine if Slim had done the Ed Sheeran bits on their track. Imagine a rapper actually doing all the lyrics on their own album. What would happen?
    Would the universe turn inside out? Would day turn to night? Would Khal Droggo come back to life. I guess we’ll never know.
    What does Ed Sheeran add to this other than his name?
    Fuck all, that’s what. I’ve got no problem with the wee ginger one, or any of the other 27 people on this album, except that they’re all a massive waste of space and generally make all the songs a bit too long.
    When Metallica released St. Anger back in 2003, it was shit, it was shit because they tried to do what everyone else was doing and did things like getting rid of guitar solos, because fashion.
    Rap albums feel a bit like that, there is a formula that they all stick to.
    And it’s gotten a bit shit. How about doing something new?
    Songs wise this is an album of 2 halves according to the little stars on Apple Music, all the better songs seem to be on the first half. Some of the songs on the first half of this album sound like they could be singles, this isn’t a compliment as most songs in the chart are utter dirge, but some of these songs sound like they could sit happily beside them, so that’s a thing. I’m not gonna lie, they’re all much of muchness to me, nothing really stands out.
    I don’t really hate this album, but I’m not going to listen to it ever again and I’m not even a little bit sad about that.
    Last edited by The Beer Monster; January 29th, 2020 at 9:18 AM.

  20. #20
    I Went To America Gangers's Avatar
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    Ed Sheeran is on an Eminem album? Fucking hell. Not even sure who should be more embarrassed by that.

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    Not asleep The Beer Monster's Avatar
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    He’s on more than 1.

  22. #22
    World Champion Donald's Avatar
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    Yeah, I think he's on Kamikaze and the new one.

    Don't mind Eminem, but his best days are behind him. The whole angry thing was a nice gimmick to sell records, apparently it still works cause he's now had 10 albums debut at #1, consecutively. In the US, and UK I think.

  23. #23
    OBJECTION Psycho666Soldier's Avatar
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    But Eminem hasn't even really been angry in years, so this is more of a return.

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