Rate your managers signings

[Bad Collin]

This is my 33,333rd post so here is a thread to celebrate.

We're always talking about who makes good signings and who wastes money, here we list the big signings our managers have made and rate them out of five:

1 - Complete waste of money, you'd drive him to the airport yourself if an offer came in
2 - Not good enough for the first team or a decent first team player who cost too much
3 - Decent buy, good value for money or a young player who looks like he'll be a good fit
4 - Very good signing who is a key player or a decent team player who cost peanuts
5 - Amazing signing, the team would be much worse without him

BR's signings for Liverpool:

Fabio Borini from Roma (£10,400,000) **

He's pretty rubbish, he should move on this summer

Joe Allen from Swansea City (£15,000,000) **

Waste of money. He's a decent player but he's not creative enough

Daniel Sturridge from Chelsea (£12,000,000) ****

He's been great when fit, hopefully he'll be back at his best next year

Philippe Coutinho from Inter Milan (£8,500,000) ****

He's brilliant

Luis Alberto from Sevilla (£6,800,000) **

Haven't seen much of him, it seems like a lot of money

Iago Aspas from Celta Vigo (£7,000,000) *

Utter gash

Simon Mignolet from Sunderland (£9,000,000) ***

The jury's out on whether he can be a top keeper but £9m is pretty good value

Kolo Touré Free Transfer ***

Has had some good games, not bad for no money

Mamadou Sakho from Paris St Germain (£15,000,000) **

Seems like a lot of money, he's very good now and again

Tiago Ilori from Sporting Lisbon (£7,000,000) ***

Seems a good talent, should play next season

Rickie Lambert from Southampton (£4,500,000) **

Didn't have a good season

Adam Lallana from Southampton (£25,000,000) ***

I like him a lot, £25m could be too much though

Emre Can from Bayer Leverkusen (£9,750,000) ****

He's going to be a very important player for us, absolute bargain

Lazar Markovic from Benfica (£19,800,000) ***

Useful player, he could turn out to be worth the money

Dejan Lovren from Southampton (£20,000,000) *

A complete liability

Alberto Moreno from Sevilla (£12,000,000) ***

Very good going forward, needs to defend better

Mario Balotelli from AC Milan (£16,000,000) **

He doesn't seem bothered but had a few decent games


Total spend £211,500,000
Average rating: 2.5 *

[turdpower]

Ander Herrera - 4
Luke Shaw - 3
Marcos Rojo - 3
Angel Di Maria - 2.5
Daley Blind - 3
Victor Valdes - 3

Approx 150m +

[Ringo]

Current spell only:

Schurrle from Leverkusen (although this was almost a done deal by the time Jose came back) - £19m ***
I'll go with *** because I thought he contributed well to the team and we ultimately made a profit. Essentially swapping him for Cuadrado doesn't look too smart at this point.

van Ginkel from Vitesse - £8m **/*** hard to say
Got a long term injury after just a few games. Came back right at the end of the season and then got loaned out to Milan for this one. Doesn't sound like he's set the world on fire but at 22 and under £10m we should make a profit if he's not considered good enough.

Schwarzer - Free ***
Just a third keeper. Played a few games. Did the job. No problem.

Willian from Anzhi - £30m ****
Important player and he's usually on the pitch when we're at our best. I love watching him. So graceful, he has a very distinctive style. That said, he needs to score more goals. Can be wasteful.

Eto'o from Anzhi - £2m ***
Flashes of brilliance but not what he was. Still good value I'd say. Contributed a couple of important goals. Offered something Torres and Ba definitely didn't.

Matic from Benfica - £21m *****
Key first team player and we're not nearly as good without him. One of the top DMs in the world. Good value at that price, even having to pay £19m more than we paid for him the first time.

Salah from Basel - £11m **
Hasn't looked good enough. That said, marginally more impressive than Cuadrado. But he's now gone on loan to Fiorentina and seemingly pissed all over everyone, scoring all these mesmerizing solo goals. I don't think he's Mourinho's type of player but we'll see. There's definitely something there.

Zouma from St. Etienne - £12.5m ***
Has looked really good when he's come in. Making that step up and replacing Terry is a different story. Potential.

Fabregas from Barca - £27m ****
Like Matic, an instant starter. Key first team player, not quite the same without him. He fit in quickly despite suggestions that wouldn't be the case.

Costa from Atletico - £32m ****
We needed to sign a top striker and we did exactly that. I'm not sure there was anyone else available who would have been a better fit. Unfortunately, he's injury prone. Also a lunatic which I find very entertaining but could lead to damaging sendings off or lots of suspensions

Filipe Luis from Atletico - £15m **
Presumably expected to come into the first team at LB but Azpi has been so consistent he hasn't managed it. Done well at times, he offers more going forward than Azpilicueta. But he's been found out defensively now and again too. He's not as positionally adept as Azpi. At 29 years old and £15m, feels like a bit of a waste of money - but there's talk that he could be used to sign Griezmann or Koke in a part-exchange, which gives him some value still.

Drogba - Free *****
Drogba, don't care.

Cuadrado from Fiorentina - £23m **
Only made a handful of appearances, barely started. Jury's still out but at this point I'm quite happy saying that he looks way out his depth. Get in the gym over the summer, Juan.

...

I wouldn't say Salah and van Ginkel are bad signings because they should have re-sale value regardless. Luis and Cuadrado not so much but as I said, jury is very much still out in the latter's case.

TOTAL: £200.5m

[Chris Scott]

I forgot Lazar Markovic cost £19,8m fuck me.

[Chris Scott]

Then again it makes me feel better at Lovren's price.

[turdpower]

Didn't Rogers use Markovic as a reason not to sign Depay as well?

OH DEAR.

[MMH]

Ok then....

Roberto Martinez

Aiden McGeady (from Spartak Moscow Undisclosed but rumoured 1.5M - 6M)

Rubbish mainly. He has got ability but seems to lack a brain. Does something sublime and then trips over the ball. Has had his moments but they are few and far between. 3/10

Gareth Barry (Manchester City Loan and then 1M)

Great signing last season on loan where he looked every bit the consummate pro that he should be. Great passing, balanced the side well in his anchoring role and new when to be a bit snide. This season he seems to have fallen off a cliff. Our poor season have mainly been down to him not being a patch on what he was last season. So a mixed signing but for the fee and last season hes a solid 7/10

Romelu Lukaku (Chelsea Loan then 24M)

Weird player. hes so very good when a chance comes his way, I would back him to score every single time. He also cant control a ball and is awful in the air. Young though and a ton of potential and of course he scores goals. 8/10

James McCarthy (Wigan Athletic 13M)

Bargain really. Hes not flash and wont score many (Which isnt really important) but he is everywhere on the pitch. A ridiculous engine and always plays it simple and effectively. Probably our most important player. 9/10

Gerard Deulofeu (Barcelona Loan)

Not had a player as exciting as him since we had Kanchelskis (Maybe Rooney for a bit) and I think he is another difference between our form this season and last. He wasnt brilliant for us and often ran into blind alleys but teams shit themselves when he came onto the pitch as he is so pacy and direct. Struggled at Sevilla this season, I would love to have him back. 6/10

Joel Robles (Atletico Madrid 4.5M)

Better than Tim Howard. Shaky start where he looked like he had never played in goal before but slowly got better after a few games only for Martinez to then drop him for that idiot with the upside down head. 5/10 just for how he has handled him. He was rated on par with de Gea when they were at Madrid so potential is there.

Antolin Alcaraz (Free Agent)

Jesus.... he has ability, somewhere. Been awful for us and constantly injured. 1/10

Arouna Kone (Wigan Athletic 6M)

I like Kone, or I want to like him anyway. Played one game for us, missed a sitter and then his leg fell off. Came back after over a year out and cant get a game anymore. Scored once in his time for us. 6M aint that much these days but its not buttons either. 1/10

Christian Atsu (Chelsea Loan)

Never plays him so whats the point? Another who is always injured. Runs fast. 1/10

Samuel Eto'o (Free Agent)

Legitimately the best striker in the world at one point (in my opinion) not any more though. Did Ok for a while in a bizarre midfield role when we had no fit strikers then kicked up a stink and left in a cloud of mystery. 2/10

Muhamed Besic (Ferencvaros 5M)

I rate him highly. Still young and is a great tackler with a good eye for a pass which a lot of our fans dont realise because they are idiots (doesnt score enough....cavemen). Not played much lately but certainly one for the future. Likes a booking. 7/10

Aaron Lennon (Spurs Loan)

I like him a lot, works hard, creates chances and gives Coleman room to play. For the right price, rumoured to be 6M, I'd have him full time. 7/10

the rest like Brendan Galloway, Sam Byrne, Jedinech Stanek etc haven't played enough to judge. Galloway looks good though.

[MMH]

Oh and I dont do ratings out of 5... just split them in half if you must...

[Bad Collin]

I forgot Lazar Markovic cost £19,8m fuck me.

Well, he could end up being worth it. Lovren and Allen on the other hand is money down the drain.

[Simon]

Ben Davies
Jury's out at the moment...£10m seemed like a lot of money for a second-choice full back at the time, and that's proven to be the case with Danny Rose having a great season and keeping him out of the team. He did alright when he came in without really standing out, but definitely overpriced. 5/10

Michel Vorm
As with Davies, he hasn't played much because of the excellent form of the guy he's deputising. Having said that, I was surprised we managed to get a goalkeeper as good as Vorm in as back-up, and if Lloris leaves this summer it's good to know we wouldn't be desperate for an expensive replacement. Nowhere near as good as Hugo obviously, but about as good a back-up as we could hope for. 7/10

Eric Dier
Came in as fourth choice centre back, ended the season as probably our best centre back and right back. Tailed off somewhat during the middle third of the season and was a victim of Pochettino's strange chopping and changing, but was excellent at the start and end of the season. Only cost £4m too, which is already looking like a bargain. Given his potential, this looks a very good signing. 8/10

DeAndre Yedlin
Too early to tell - he's only played 20 minutes or so. Right back is a bit of a problem position for us at the moment as Walker has been awful since returning from injury and Dier is needed at centre back, but I would imagine Yedlin won't be seen in a Spurs shirt for a while - Frederick has apparently been excellent at Boro this season and will probably be ahead of him in the pecking order if he stays. N/A

Federico Fazio
Inconsistent and frustrating. At his best he's imperious - wins everything in the air, strong in the tackle and reads the game well. At his worst he's slow, lumbering, dodgy in possession and prone to regular brain farts. And he's at his worst more often than he's at his best. He cost somewhere around £8-9m which isn't a huge amount these days, but he's not good enough to start regularly if we want to be a Champions' League side. 5/10

Benjamin Stambouli
Looked ok when given a chance, but he's just another 'decent' central midfielder which we already have loads of. Will probably go in the next twelve months and we'll forget he was ever here - he did only cost £5m though. 6/10

Dele Alli
One for the future obviously. I've not seen him play but by all accounts he has been sensational for MK Dons this season. Seems like we beat some strong competition to get him which bodes well, not sure whether he'll be in the first team squad next season though. N/A


Thank God no one's asking me to rate last season's transfers.

[Romford Pele]

Wengers will just take too long, so I'll do last 2 seasons:-

Ozil - ***. Has been better than people have given credit for this season, but he still needs to step a bit to dominate games like he did for Germany and Madrif. Hopefully next season.

Flamini - ** Did ok for first half of 13/14 but then tailed off. Barely a squad player now.

Sanogo - ** On occasion has put himself about, but on others looks like bambi on ice. 50/50 whether he will stay

Chambers - *** Promising start, more to come i think especially at CB

Debuchy - *** Looks solid but injury struck season

Wellbeck - *** See above

Sanchez - ***** Sensational opening season

Gabriel - *** Decent so far

[The Rosk]

Kieran Richardson ** Half bombscare half good left back. Always does one mistake per game.
Aly Cissokho ** OK left back – nothing more. Utter dogshit going forward.
Carlos Sanchez ** quality player with a good read of the game who I think will have a great season next year now he’s got used to the pace of the League
Carles Gil ** had a few good games when brought in and we thought he might be the answer to our relegation problems. Sherwood came in and hasn’t had him near the team. Skilful player but may have a bit of an attitude problem by some reports.
Philippe Senderos * has played 7 games and is slower than a dead person. Can’t get back in the side in spite of shitloads of injuries to our defence

[Red Dog]

We are not allowed to sign anyone for more than £10k per week with no transfer fee.

Therefore I suspect everyone we sign this summer will be dogshit.