Wrestlings randomness

[chatty]

Sometimes in wrestling we get things that are just completely random and seem to be for no reason at all. Some of these are obviously angles that have gone wrong or nowhere so were scrapped. Sometimes they are just random.

Here's some that just seemed to come from nowhere, go nowhere and then just stop.

Vaders return in 2005, all I can remember is this match with him being some sort of bodyguard with Goldust for Coach v Batista - guy was so out of shape he practically waddled to the ring, I have no idea why anyone thought this would work in any way whatsoever:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wIPPYprQGVA

Another one was Nash's return to powerbomb Punk when he was at his most overness, why the hell they thought hiring an old past it guy with a huge injury list was ever going to work I do not know but when watching the first attack I was like, "is that Nash, WTF".

Giving Perry Saturn the moppy gimmick, I actually thought it was hilarious (in a its so bad sort of way) but who the hell thought this one up.

Tim White commiting storyline suicide - WTF was all that about.

Of course Mae and Henrys legendary son The Hand.

[Cewsh]

The Nash thing makes sense. They brought him back for the Rumble for a one off and he was CRAZY over. From there, I imagine it was just a matter of getting him healthy and coming up with a way for him to make an impact. Getting him involved with Punk was a really interesting direction to take that, and honestly, the majority of people dug it big time at the time. But his limitations, exacerbated by his health issues, clearly caused them to have to change the story on the fly, depriving us of the build to Triple H/Punk that I'm certain we were going to get.

[Kimura Kid]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HoF6nZpyhq8

[The Law]

If Nash hadn't had health/insurance issues that would have worked. He's talked about the storyline they had planned a few times in shoot interviews. It was going to turn out that Johnny Ace was conspiring with Nash and some other guys (probably Del Rio, Miz, R-Truth, and maybe Christian) to get control of the company from Triple H. It would have made total sense: Johnny Ace toiled for years behind the scenes as Vince McMahon's #2, and then when Vince gets axed Triple H swoops in and gets control. So Johnny Ace was going to take him down. And in the process, he turned to Nash, who knows Hunter better than anyone, had an ax to grind with him because he didn't offer him a job when he got control, and knows all about invading companies and destroying them. They were doing a good job of setting up a story with a conspiracy at the company-someone texted Nash from Triple H's phone, someone cut off CM Punk's microphone, someone wouldn't raise the Cell when Miz and R-Truth ran in at Hell in a Cell.

And then a bunch of stuff happened that screwed it up: Nash had health issues, Rock became available to work Survivor Series, and R-Truth failed a drug test. So they ended up killing off that storyline, leaving a bunch of loose threads hanging. Too bad, because it was shaping up to be really awesome. Those were really exciting times for WWE.

[chatty]

The Nash thing makes sense. They brought him back for the Rumble for a one off and he was CRAZY over. From there, I imagine it was just a matter of getting him healthy and coming up with a way for him to make an impact. Getting him involved with Punk was a really interesting direction to take that, and honestly, the majority of people dug it big time at the time. But his limitations, exacerbated by his health issues, clearly caused them to have to change the story on the fly, depriving us of the build to Triple H/Punk that I'm certain we were going to get.

Yeah i sort of got it, the surprise element was good but honestly, after so many times he has been injured previously they must have been crazy to stick him in a huge angle like that and hope to build around it. i can't even remember too many angles from then but they should have had him go in a mid-card angle and see if his health would last out.

[StoneColdChris]

Rock became available to work Survivor Series

Rock was already confirmed to work Survivor Series before the Nash/Punk angle started

[The Law]

So here's something really fucking random and horrible from WCW:


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ro60nB6TzRc

It was March of 1997. Uncensored was coming up, the the main event was going to be a WCW vs. NWO Battle Royal, where if WCW won the NWO would be stripped of their titles and banned from wrestling for three years. Randomly, they announce on Nitro that Roddy Piper is also going to have a team competing in this battle royal. Well, okay. Piper was really over at the time, even if he wasn't in the best shape or having very good matches.

So Piper announces he's going to have try-outs to decide who's on his team. And the fans will be able to pick them. He's got six guys backstage and he's going to fight them all, one after another.

So the first guy comes down. Piper wrestles the guy for like 30 seconds, gets him in a Kimura, and the guy taps out. And that's it for the first match. Okay, at least it was quick.

The second guy comes out. And it's LUTHER REIGNS. Guy was like straight out of wrestling school at this point. He gets a few licks in, but then Piper puts him in the Sleeper Hold and he's done.

So another guy comes out. As he's walking to the ring, a guy in ridiculously over-sized boxing gloves attacks him. This guy is fat, has a horrible haircut, and is wearing hiking boots and swimming trunks. He looks like a fucking homeless person, but he's apparently a boxer. He throws Piper some boxing gloves, and Piper puts them on. Piper proceeds to box the homeless guy in the worst worked boxing fight I've ever seen. The crowd is starting to die. Also, we're like ten minutes into this segment. They fight to a stalemate, and the crowd boos the shit out of this guy. Because this segment is fucking horrible. Piper tries to salvage this by getting on the mic and putting him over, then says they'll fight some more. Schiavone says "We've never seen anything like this in the history of our sport." For once, his hyperbole is correct. They wrestle a little bit, and this potion finally fucking ends.

Then some other jabroni comes out. This guy is some kind of martial artist/kickboxer. Also note that Piper is completely blown the fuck up at this point. It's understandable, he was like 42 at this point and hadn't wrestled a full-time schedule in at least ten years. This guy beats Piper up while the crowd really shits on things. The "boring" chants start. Piper decides this guy is legit as the crowd boos some more.

And then John Tenta shows up. At this point, I feel like we hadn't seen John Tenta since his epic (not really) feud with the Big Boss Man the previous summer. It ended in a classic (not really) Carson City Silver Dollar match, which was a match in which they hung a dirty sock full of Silver Dollars from a ridiculously high pole that neither him nor Boss Man could climb. That was Bash at the Beach 1996. So this is the first time he's been on Nitro in like eight months. And he's here to try to save this segment. Guess what? Doesn't really work out. He gets a nice pop, because at least he's a real professional wrestler that the crowd recognizes. Tenta gets some licks in, then the Hobo Boxer and Other Dude jump in the ring and fight him. The crowd approves, because at least it signals that this segment is coming to an end.

Piper can barely talk he's so blown up. But he gets the mic and says he has his team. He says he's ready for war, "NWO" should stand for "No Way Out" and some other stuff. And this catastrophic, calamity of a segment finally fucking ends. This monstrosity clocked in at 19 minutes. Nitro was only two hours at this point, so that's 120 minutes long, 84 minutes without commercials. Yes, they spent nearly 1/4 of the show on this fucking flaming turd of nonsense.

But that's not even the best part. Want to know how many of those guys ended up actually wrestling on Piper's team at Uncensored? NONE OF THEM. The week after this, Flair and the Horsemen came out and told Piper that they should be on his team instead. And Piper agreed, and that was the last we ever saw of those motherfucks (other than John Tenta, who I'm sure stuck around for awhile, because WCW never fucking fired anybody except Steve Austin). Admittedly, it was the right move to pull those guys after this segment went over so poorly with the live crowd (and presumably viewers at home, who surely flipped over to Raw in droves). But seriously, they went though all that and then didn't fucking use them?

What was the idea here? They were going to have a guy in his 40s with no fucking stamina wrestle six matches in a row against guys who were totally unknown to the crowd and in most of the cases didn't appear to be trained professional wrestlers. When Hogan and Piper went over ten minutes in their previous matches the first few rows of fans almost passed out from oxygen deprivation they were sucking so much wind. Did they really think anyone was going to enjoy this? And none of them can actually beat Piper, because he was one of WCW's top guys at this time. So they can lose with dignity, and that gets them on the team. Sweet holy fucking Jesus, I have no idea what the fuck Bischoff, or Kevin Sullivan, or Mike Graham, or whoever the fuck came up with this segment was thinking. This is probably the stupidest fucking thing I have ever seen in wrestling, and I have no idea how any adult with a functioning brain could possibly have thought it was be a good idea. Fuck me, this was absolutely fucking horrible.