View Full Version : VHS Reviews *contains spoilers*

October 23rd, 2012, 3:15 PM
Had more time than expected earlier this morning so I typed this up. I'm not much of a critic and I know I have a long way to go before I'm a credible source, but I don't expect to post that many reviews in the future. I did enjoy Raw last night, very much in fact, which is why I'm so inclined to share my thoughts. It's not easy climbing down a shelf in pitch black, but please throw some feedback my way of what you think about my contribution to this forum. Time to rewind.

Monday Night Raw
10/22/12 Review

Rey/Cara vs. Rhodes Scholars: A-

This is the best way to start Raw, with a match like this. Rey and Cara have been jelling quite nicely as a team, which is refreshing since I haven't been the biggest fan of either guy for quite a while now. Rey's career as a performer will be concluding sooner rather than later, and it actually hit me a few days ago that that's going to be a big deal when it happens. And Sin Cara, what else can be said about the guy? It's been a bumpy road since he stumbled over the ropes and into our lives. Botches, violations, and injuries aside... I'm still hoping he finally begins to hit his stride because even though he's had outstanding singles matches here and there, I feel like he's still not dependable enough to be thrown into a match against any guy on the roster. He's needed to be eased in with guys like Heath Slater and Cody Rhodes who don't speaking Spanish (at least I think). You know, picturing Slater speak fluent Spanish kind of makes me laugh for some reason.

But pairing up Rey and Cara has really revitalized my interest in these guys because they've been putting on some fantastic matches even before the Tag Tournament began. It's another weird case of meshing two wrestlers I dislike together and they become something that I'm over the moon for. The same thing happened with the Prime Time Players. I thought Darren Young and Titus O'Neil were absolute rubbish throwaways on NXT, yet when paired together they make my favorite tag team in WWE.

As for the match, it was the kind of opener that we as fans don't see very often anymore. It wasn't rushed or formulaic in any way (barring the 619). Cody's always been this guy that can have chemistry with a door knob and Damien ain't far behind either. Watching the match again, there are more dimensions to these guys than just two bad guys being paired together against two good guys. Both have taken the time to go over their chemistry tactics in between tags and punches to the point where they don't even come off as two separate superstars. And the handshake/cartwheel combo gave me a good laugh. I can't wait to see their match against Hell No.

Kofi Kingston vs. Michael Mcgillicutty: B-

Short but sweet match that Kofi wins as he normally does against somebody who gets less tv time than he deserves. Highlights included Michael hitting a Saito suplex which was damn sick and Kingston hitting the TIP out of nowhere for an easy victory. Mcgillicutty's been one of those NXT guys that's stayed on my radar and for good reason. Kofi, as I've mentioned before, is due for a character upgrade. He' beyond boring as the smiling good guy that claps his hands like a boss to get the crowd going. I'm not saying turn him heel, I'm just saying let's give the guy some dimensions. His matches are entertaining, but he's the same character he was when he debuted in ECW.

The focus wasn't the match though, it was all about Miz glaring at the guy that took his belt last week. Hence, the 2 and a half minutes that it lasted. I can't help but feel bad for Miz's character because good God I thought his return was a sign of good things to come for him, especially after he won the IC Title. But that went absolutely nowhere, and that bums me out. His feud with Kofi is nowhere near being over, but still... I don't see WWE putting the belt back on him after not having it for less than 2 weeks. He nearly has his head kicked off last week, gets 6 stitches on his face, loses the belt, loses to Randy Orton, and then looks to be coming out short handed at HIAC. Know what I'm saying?

John Cena promo: B-

It's so hard to sit through Cena segments these days. I can't stand this man anymore, gentlemen. Not one bit. At least this promo had a purpose which was to build up Ryback before the PPV (not that Cena's promos never have a purpose), but at the same time I'm so tired of John being as predictable as a mathematical equation by complimenting Punk's opponent. I was almost expecting Ryback to interrupt him and get in his face to say "Shut up. I don't need you to speak for me." But like I said. John is the top guy, so being complimented by the top guy will certainly do some good, yeah?

The topic of discussion during the promo was: Change. A powerful word. It can be interpreted a million ways; several being: a change of champions, a change of direction, or a change of focus. Will we see any significant change after HIAC? No. Will we still have John Cena in our face? Yes. I apologize for my complex when it comes to Johnny boy.

My favorite part about this was definitely Paul Heyman, by far. "You don't fight for free!" was a beautiful quote.

Antonio Cesaro vs. Justin Gabriel: B

Third match of the hour! Yes, sir. I like it. Antonio's a guy I can't wait to watch. I like his robotic-ness during his promos and his brilliant utilization of the European uppercut. He's one guy I expect fabulous things from in the next coming year. Him losing to Justin Gabriel was a nice surprise, and in my opinion it was a smart way to get fans to start caring about the South African Sucker. Keep these guys feuding!

AJ promo: D (if not for Heyman, it would have been an F.)

Vince and AJ are already in the ring when we come back from commercial, and then we all watched a drum set fall down some stairs. This segment was awfully executed, from AJ's horrific acting to Vickie's unceremonious reemergence of power as Managing Supervisor. Sexy title... I guess. Must be a position worth having on the show until we get our new full time GM. Can we just have somebody that doesn't have to be on the show that often? You would think being in such an important position the GM would only grace us with their presence when the time absolutely calls for it, not when a tag match needs to be announced. Anytime the "GM" comes out there's no sense of business about to pick up.

AJ was one of the best things about Raw until Vince thought it was a good idea to make her GM. Like, what? Why? She had a horizon of potential with the crazy chick thing she had going on with Punk and Bryan, and I feel her becoming General Manager killed her momentum substantially. Now every time her music hits, I don't know what to expect. WWE's writing for her has been a turbulent mess from standing in a trance, to losing her sanity for being called crazy, and to having full blown nervous breakdowns in the middle of the ring. We go from scary boss right off the bat, to inept boss the next, to bitch boss during her evaluation, then to sympathetic ex employee last night. Why is Vince hugging this girl that he hired when she's been written as a blatantly unstable and incompetent GM? If she was John Laurinaitis, she'd be smelling Vince's breath for 10 minutes. Or worse. Dun dun dun.

AJ's cute as a button and I'm sure she'll have better direction now that her GM role is done. She's talented and she has a brighter future from here on out. Personally, I think she deserves another bikini match.

Which brings me to her speech, which was like a retirement speech. I was asking myself whether she was stepping down or leaving the company all together. It's like "Umm, you can still be a wrestler ya know." All in all, not a good segment.... until the Master of the Universe came out and put a smile on my face as he normally does. Paul Heyman's so dang good in this role. His reaction to the Lumberjack Match was hilarious. It's almost as if he was ranting for real. Maybe he was?

AJ then ends up buckling under Vickie's taunting again and attacks her... again. It's nice to see that she was allowed to step down with some dignity, especially after such a heartfelt goodbye. I wipe a tear from my dusty cassette eye.

Ryback vs. Miz: Banana

Ryback won.

Eve/Kaitlyn segment: A+

I've been liking where this is going. Eve's doing a great job and so is Kaitlyn. It's times like this that make me glad that Kelly Kelly is gone. This was looking to be your typical backstage segment until Layla decided to throw off my tracking when she ejected her "Are you serious?!" line which made me laugh so hard I was lucky not to be sitting on the shelf, otherwise I would have fallen off. If you haven't heard it, I suggest you do so before - I don't know. Just watch it and marvel at its hilarity. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8BpiyMhTork

Sheamus segment: Banana

Bananas are good for you, but Sheamus does me none at the moment. Unless he's in a match with Wade Barrett.

Daniel Bryan vs. Dolph Ziggler: A-

Yes. Everything that's been said about both of these fine gentlemen was reflected in their match last night. Bryan and Dolph have the same thing going on with Sheamus and Barrett where very time they square off, it's awesome.

Dolph is a guy that will... will... be the future of this company, and Daniel is the best thing in WWE today. Step aside Punk.

The Newly Tag Game:

This would have been a real urk for me if Bryan and Kane weren't involved. They're the new Santino and Kozlov. Too Cool mentioned how Matt Striker would make for a perfect manager for Rhodes Scholars, and I have to agree with him. He had his teacher gimmick before he became an announcer and he's still pretty dang good when he wrestles. I second the idea.

Big Show vs. Kane:

Skipped this one.

Cena/AJ segment:

John being added to the AJ picture did in fact urk me. His acting was god awful and he should feel god awful. If there's anything I can say about this is that I'm jealous John got the chance to bury AJ's tiny frame into his chest.

Alberto Del Rio vs. Zack Ryder: D-

Am I alone when I say that Alberto is just plain boring? I like his wicked kicks, but nothing about him draws me in. Yeah, he works the arm with animalistic perseverance and applies the Cross Armbreaker for the victory. That was no surprise. And I forgot that he was feuding with Randy Orton. Huh. Alberto can put the Cross Armbreaker on my second cousin, the Top Gun Laser Disc, and I still won't give a damn about him. He puts me to sleep, for real.

(Animalistic is a word because Paul Heyman once said it. I don't know why I have a red line underneath it. Chrome is so stupid sometimes.)

CM Punk vs. Sheamus: C+

Maybe it was the 3 hour burnout or maybe it was just a basic but boring match... but despite the show being pretty dang enjoyable the whole night, I was ready to switch off for the night. Punk and Sheamus seemed to be dragging their feet, which didn't bother me too much since they both have big matches in 6 days. I was wondering why Ryback wasn't with the rest of the roster most of all. What does a superstar do backstage when everybody else is at ringside? Sudoku probably.

Highlight of the night definitely goes to Ryback powerbombing Punk with such force I thought Punk was an infant. Thanks to Morrison for pointing out Kofi getting all excited about it in the background, otherwise I wouldn't have noticed it. I can only imagine Punk and Kingston's conversation afterwards with Kofi bouncing around like and Chester and Spike cartoon.

Gave Raw a 9 out of 10 on the poll. Hope you all enjoyed reading my rambling. I tend to skip like a record, but insomnia was not kind last night. It's not easy being an old dusty copy of Mac and Me. So forgive my lack of consistency in my review of the matches and what not.

October 23rd, 2012, 3:19 PM
Very enjoyable read, especially since I hadn't caught all Raw yet and wanted to know if it was worth a watch without having to wade through the Raw thread. Keep it up, man. :yes:

October 23rd, 2012, 4:20 PM
He was in the back looking for food!

October 23rd, 2012, 4:29 PM
RAW's a spoiler until Weds., so I'm gonna throw a mention of that into the thread title if you're going to keep this type of schedule.

October 23rd, 2012, 9:00 PM
Excellent write-up mate. I pretty much whole-heartedly agree with everything you've said here.

As for the Miz, I suppose you could say that he's not having a good month - but the alternative of not being on TV at all is much, much worse. I'm thinking that perhaps he might have a shot to move up the card again after dropping the title to Kofi. Matches he's been in, even promos that he's participated in, have been consistently good and it's my desire that the brass acknowledge his efforts.

That said, I'd much rather Cody Rhodes be in his position. He's been waiting in the wings for quite some time now.

October 23rd, 2012, 11:20 PM
Thank you so far, guys. And mth thanks for adding to the title. :)

October 23rd, 2012, 11:29 PM
Cewsh should just quit now because VHS is taking over.

He needs to change his name to DVD to have any hope of competing.

October 24th, 2012, 12:17 AM
You should keep it up VHS. :yes: Good job.

Judas Iscariot
October 24th, 2012, 1:03 AM
I heard rumors that BETAMAX is going to be signed soon and make a big splash.

November 6th, 2012, 4:00 PM
Yesterday I couldn't help but wonder how many more times WWE can get away with shows like last week's. I thought it was absolute shlock that cannot happen from now on, because this is the time for fans to really decide whether or not this 3 hour format is worth it. Me, I think it's killing the product. Slowly. Don't get me wrong, there have been far more worse episodes, but Raw last week stood out to me because the fans were getting very tired heading into the final hour. And they weren't alone. But last week was last week. It's a new day.

Hello again, and welcome. I really appreciate the comments I've received in regards to my first review, guys. But enough of the sappy stuff. Time goes nowhere when you can't talk about something you love. It's time once again... for everybody... to REWIND.

Monday Night Raw
11/5/12 Review


Has anybody else noticed small hints of a Miz face turn? I look at the guy and can't help but think he'd transition beautifully into being a semi good guy. There have been times when even though he was one of the top (and most hated) heels on the roster, the fans would find themselves cheering for him over somebody else. These moments have been few and far between, but when they've happened they've been quite loud. He's a rogue slimeball that follows no man, and I respected his decision to give Paul E. the finger. Good for him.

Rey/Cara and R-Truth vs. PTP and Antonio Cesaro: A

Two things occurred to me last night... I'm starting to like Sin Cara again... and this was more than just your average tag match. Everybody's timing and execution was spot on, and the fans loved it. It's one of those opening matches where you're into every exchange due to a hot crowd. I can go on and on about how I enjoyed each man's involvement so I'll do my best to keep things at a minimum. Darren Young's work has cemented him as one of the most underrated & dependable workers in WWE. He knows how to make his opponent look like a million bucks, and he's also a genius at what his partner Titus is beginning to master: psychology. Titus' size is freaky scary (as Tazz would have put it). His constant barrage of back breakers on Rey had me going "dang" all the while his barking at the fans made him look like he was taking out the trash. And Antonio, oh Antonio. He can do no wrong at this point. The highlight of the match for me was Sin Cara's double tilt-a-whirl hurricanrana on Cesaro, leading up to the 619 and R-Truth's Little Jimmy. Fantastic opening match that had me loving life to the fullest. In my last review, I pointed out how much I adored the opening match between Rey/Cara and Rhodes Scholars. At this point, I don't think it's a coincidence that Rey and Sin Cara were involved in both. They've been the most solid tag team we've had in a long time... if only they can dress alike?

Vickie/Cena segment: C

There have been a lot of criticisms about John Cena throughout the years, about his attitude and character, about him being over-protected, about how he can't wrestle, etc. There are far too many to even comprehend. But here's another one: he sucks. Goodnight. Damn it, no. That's not how it's done.

Vickie as our power-abusive bitch in charge both annoys me and offends me. She's our generation's best heel manager, but as an interim GM she really bothers me. Her whole plight against AJ is that she was partaking in an unprofessional relationship with John Cena, which led to her being knocked out of her GM role. But what bothers me is that Vickie herself has been in relationships with Edge, Ziggler, Show, and that "boy toy" douche from way back when. It's sloppy writing that requires us to erase continuity in our brains all for the sake of another cheesy segment.

And John's involvement only makes this AJ "damsel in distress" storyline all the more shlocky. The crowd was actually into the whole security camera thing, and kept nagging on Cena's every word, but I still can't get behind this stuff. If anything, John can give AJ as many AA's onto the bed as he likes since she's not the boss anymore.

Cody Rhodes vs. Daniel Bryan: B

These two will get more time in the future, you can quote me on that. Cody's going to be a top guy some day as will Dragon. We all have nothing to worry about. This Scholars/Hell No feud is definitely my favorite. There's no way to sidestep how much fun it is to watch Rhodes and Sandow smile their way to the bank at talking smack to Bryan and Kane. And Sandow sort of pausing at the shadow lurching over him like it was a Looney Tunes cartoon had me giddy like a schooltape.

Kane vs. Damien Sandow: B

Sandow's loss to Kane is perfectly balanced out by Cody's win over Bryan, which is to be expected since it's perfectly logical booking. Plus, Kane is a boss. Bryan and Cody not being able to behave themselves at ringside also helped maintain Sandow's credibility because who else could keep their composure during a match against Kane when you've got such malignant insanity pouring from every crevice of the ring? The beard of geometric perfection can't work in such conditions. Pshaw.

Brad Maddox segment:

Did not watch because I think it was for the birds.

Sheamus vs. Miz: B+

Miz and Sheamus. Two guys that would have appeared to be unevenly matched, but still managed to give us a brutal matchup that lasted well over 10 minutes. Sheamus gets a lot of eye rolls every time he opens his mouth, but I'll be buggered if his matches didn't hook me every time. And Miz... he's fallen from the heavens like a fallen angel, but he still manages to stay in WWE's bubble of most dedicated workers. If it were anybody else, they wouldn't have lasted 2 seconds against Sheamus. But not Miz. People can say that Miz is headed for a downward spiral now that he's beltless, but the way I see it is... he lasts longer than most other heels. How many fellas has Sheamus run through like a marshmallow Juggernaut besides Barret and Big Show? Miz is still in the upper league of bad guys, and he should never be taken lightly.

Eve/Aksana vs. Layla/Kaitlyn: D

I really don't know what to say about these ladies, other than they looked tired. Something about everybody's timing seemed off. And it didn't help that Aksana was there, because sweet holy toast she cannot wrestle. She may have been the sexiest woman in the ring, but she shouldn't have been in there to begin with. I mean don't get me wrong, I enjoyed watching her slither around like a godly firestorm of sexuality, but she should still be valeting for Cesaro. And Layla, I don't know what her problem was, but she looked like it was her first match in over a year. Maybe they roomed next to Cena's hotel room and didn't get any sleep, or maybe they were jet lagged, or maybe they just had an off night. It happens. But this can't happen as often as it usually does, because this division is in purgatory. Aksana works on Layla... crowd no care... Eve works on Layla... crowd no care... Kaitlyn pins Aksana... crowd no care.

Alberto backstage note: Who knew the only thing a Colon was missing was a vagina to get noticed by somebody?

Alberto Del Rio vs. Kofi Kingston:

Unfortunately, I felt really burnt out at this point and so did the crowd. The sense of yawning and stretching was quite noticeable from the crowd because they were DEAD. This is where I took a break. I heard the match itself was pretty good, but I just needed to take a breather.

Primo/Epico vs. Santino/Ryder:

My break leaked into this pointless tag match.

Brodus Clay vs. Wade Barrett:

Brodus is shlock. Watching Barrett launch the only living, breathing funkasaurus into deep space was a joy to watch. I'm glad he got to stand tall in front of his people.

Heath Slater vs. Jey Uso:

I like 3MB, but I didn't care at all for the match itself. I don't appreciate filler like this, especially on a 3 hour show.

John Cena/Ryback vs. CM Punk/Dolph Ziggler: C+

I suffered the same fate as my first review... I was absolutely ready to click off. End this 3 hour format, please.

Dolph's easily the most talented in ring performer of the four, but he still comes off as a red coat when standing next to Punk, Cena, and most of all Ryback. He can drop mountains on top of these guys, but he still stands no chance because of how he's been booked. He's going to have zero credibility as a world champion. Cena goes through most of the match taking ungodly amounts of punishment, as he normally does, then Punk shoots a BB gun at a Death Star and gets Commence Primary Ignition'ed by Ryback. Apparently we've got a bad ass up in here and his name used to be Skip. Which is what I do every time Cena and Ryback are on my television.

I'm coming off as bitter and intolerable when it comes to John Cena and Ryback, but they're both not doing anything for me other than making me want to change the channel. And it pains me that Ziggler is there sipping his apple juice in the back seat.

I give Raw a 6 out of 10, because a 7 sounds too modest when the show pretty much lost me in the 3rd hour. Raw can have a mass portion of awesome television, but it's always going to be dragged down by the terrible 3 hour format. It's too much. And not to mention too many things that don't maintain my interest are taking up too much of my time: Vickie/AJ storyline, Brad Maddox, Ryback, and the filler stuff. Most of the show didn't even get a grade from me.

Anyway, it's time for me to crawl back onto the shelf. Enjoy your days, and don't forget to vote.

November 13th, 2012, 3:06 PM
I've decided to implement a new rating system pertaining to my own nature. I hope it's effective.

RECORD = Would watch again over and over.
PLAY = Decent to excellent.
FAST FORWARD = Passable.
EJECT = Shlock.

Slow business as usual, here in the M isle. I think I enjoyed Raw last night more than last week, but I find myself changing my mind about a lot of things these days so here goes. It's time... once again... for everybody... to REWIND.

Monday Night Raw
10/22/12 Review

Recapper: EJECT

Then, now, forever.

I disliked the soap opera recapper then, I dislike the soap opera recapper now, and I will forever dislike the soap opera recapper (Unless it's done by Heath Slater). Otherwise, it's got to go. We're not watching Breaking Bad or the Walking Dead here. Raw is Air Wolf compared to those shows. Both are good, but randomly incomparable to each other. Make sense?

This new trend of starting the show with a match is a good idea, and it definitely pleases the crowd too. Although it is a bit odd referring to it as new, even though we used to get probably 15 to 20 minutes of badly written school plays.

Randy Orton vs. Dolph Ziggler: PLAY
Cewsh referred to Randy and Alberto's feud as the "throw these guys together until we find something else for them to do" feud, and I couldn't have agreed more. Randy is a guy that's kind of what Kane used to be back in his mute monster days. He's relentlessly menacing when it comes to plowing through his opponents, barely anybody stands a chance against him, but... he lacks direction. Where's he going? Nowhere. What did his feud with Alberto Del Rio accomplish exactly? That he's the Apex Predatorr? Mission accomplished... 5 years ago. He's a dominant force that lives in its own bubble, and it's a shame that Dolph Ziggler loses yet another match for that very sake. How is he ever going to become a credible champion if he loses matches like it's his job?

Not a bad opener, just a tad bit short.

So apparently Teddy Long makes matches now on Raw (I may have missed something)? After addressing the interference, he did what we all knew he was going to do. Let's not kid ourselves. What was the point of Dolph losing yet again when they could have just had the match end in a No Contest?

Two things annoy me here: one... there needs to be a sole person on this show that makes the matches. We can't have all these people making tag matches, plain and simple. It makes the show look like a sloppily managed store where nobody really cares who does what. And two... Teddy Long.

Randy Orton/Kofi Kingston vs. Dolph Ziggler/Alberto Del Rio: PLAY

Seeing Randy and Kofi act buddy buddy with each other is just weird. I'd still be mad about my car being vandalized. I hold grudges.

Better match, definitely, but still a tad more formulaic than the previous show openers in recent weeks. It makes the heels look more conniving in numbers, but it also makes them look powerless on their own against the good guys. Should be the other way around, I'm sorry.

Vickie/AJ/Cena segment: FAST FORWARD

I love AJ, but I can't sit through this shlock.

Big Show vs. William Regal: PLAY

William's looking to be in much better shape these days. He's still the vicious technician that we all love, and seeing him in on Raw will always hit me in the right spot. There was no chance in heaven or hell the match would last longer than your normal squash, but William still made Show regroup himself in order to score the win. I wish Mr. Regal was a more prominent figure on the shows, and I hope he takes Jerry Lawler's spot some day as color commentator.

Layla vs. Kaitlyn: FAST FORWARD

Nobody got an entrance.

TooCool had it right last night. This is a three hour show... 180+ minutes, yet the divas only get 1. That's less than 1% if you're into math and stuff. I'm not, but that one was for those of you who are.

This is an absolute joke in the name of the holy toast. This division needs to go away for a while, not so much be scrapped, but just... away. Nobody in this world cares about this threeway feud between Eve, Kaitlyn, and Layla (who was dispatched like she wasn't just Divas Champion). Somebody backstage needs to pull the plug on this thing and reboot the whole division, or just come up with something that will get peoples' attention. All three center divas are doing a fine job, especially Eve, but not a soul seemed to care even when Kaitlyn pinned Layla. It's a waste of time for the fans, but more so for the show in general.

Jerry Lawler/Punk segment: RECORD

Oh my lord, this was easily the highlight of the night. This is entertainment at its near finest, and it was a rare segment where I was on the edge of my desk, teetering like I was watching somebody desecrate the Mona Lisa. Jerry embracing Cole for some reason nearly had me in tears. You just knew that it was a genuine embrace of bro love, and it's a moment I'll not soon forget.

Punk's interruption had me wailing like a spoiled sissy, and his smarky quips pertaining to Jerry's heart attack grinded my plastic gears to the point where I had to remind myself that it was all just a show. Only Punk can do that. Only Punk can spark this kind of outrage, and boy do I love him for it. Some individuals in the Raw thread were crossing their arms and curling their upper lips during this segment, and Heyman's mock heart attack only added fuel to the fire. People, this is what heels do. Their sole purpose is to piss us off, and bah gawd they did just that.

Foley's intervention did bring it down just a tad though, but this is still what WWE needs more of.

Rey Mysterio/Sin Cara and Justin Gabriel/Tyson Kidd vs. PTP/Primo and Epico: RECORD

I love me some 4 man tags, and this exceeded my expectations. This was probably the most fun I had watching all these teams go at it, and it's segments like this that should remind Vince why people watched the show in the first place. They want to see a show, yes, but they want to see matches like this first and foremost. All 8 participants looked like pros, and each carried out their purpose as such. The star of this match (to me) was Darren Young because he sells like nobody's business, and makes offense look debilitating. That and Titus' psychology make them STILL the best tag team in WWE next to Rey and Sin Cara of course. Hearing the crowd go into ape mode only escalated this match to another level of fun. Loved it, and will definitely bookmark it.

And I nearly typed skidmark just then, because Darren noticeably had one. It was just one of those things where it catches your eye like Rey Mysterio's infamous erection against Billy Kidman in WCW. Funny times.

R-Truth vs. Tensai: FAST FORWARD

Truth better not beat Cesaro, all I got to say. Remember when Tensai pinned Cena? Hah.

Brad Maddox vs. Ryback: EJECT

Come on. Ryback gets very little reaction when he comes out, but the crowd is into the FEED ME MORE chants like they're into jelly donuts. I can refer to Ryback as an angle, but I still can't think of him as a "hot" angle.

Sheamus vs. David Otunga: EJECT

A Ryback match starring Sheamus. I say that because they showed superstars laughing about it backstage, and Cole even said Sheamus was "marching around the ring" before hitting White Noise. Two back to back squash matches, same format. Shlock.

Rhodes Scholars vs. Kane and Miz: PLAY

I love seeing Miz and Bryan interacting again. They were the best part of NXT's first season, and Bryan's come such a long way from being a puny underdog rookie to somebody that stands toe to toe against his former coach. This was all about Miz's imminent face turn, which has me giddy with anticipation. He's somebody that will evolve nicely. Can't wait.

John Cena vs. CM Punk: PLAY

I love every Cena/Punk match. They're really becoming the best feud in years, and Heyman looking on like a perverted lawyer was awesome. I just love how he peers over the ring apron, peeking over the WWE Title like he's trying to hide or something. The match's outcome wasn't important, since it was all about Cena and Ryback both grasping the belt with Punk looking on in pure horror. Very cinematic framing too I might add. Even though Ryback made it clear during his last promo that he's not in it to win the Title, I'm still curious to see how this match turns out since the HIAC main event left me flat with all things concerning Ryback.

Anybody else wondering if AJ will get involved?

I hope Punk makes to to 365.

I give Raw a 6 out of 10 again, because I'm finding myself skipping the same amount as usual... and the three hour format is still not working. And it never will.

Back to the M isle. Enjoys your days, people.

November 13th, 2012, 3:57 PM
Just as a suggestion, I like your rating system, but too many options muddles it a bit. I think maybe just limiting it to REWIND, FAST FORWARD, RECORD, and EJECT would make things easier to follow, with RECORD and EJECT being reeeeeally great or terrible stuff. Clarity in a rating system is the biggest factor for a lot of people, and I think yours is an interesting one. Just needs a tweak.

Aside from that, interesting read. Keep 'em coming.

November 13th, 2012, 3:59 PM
Thanks, Cewsh. It's something that can definitely be tweaked as time goes one. Thanks for reading. :)

November 13th, 2012, 4:04 PM
It's good stuff, man. I support you all the way. Appreciated the shout out to me in there too. ;)

November 13th, 2012, 4:13 PM
I am worried about his wrap phrase. "Enjoy your days, people" sounds like his going to come and kill is all. "A simple be kind, rewind" would be sufficent lol

Very enjoyable though VHS. Keep up the good work. :yes:

November 13th, 2012, 4:38 PM
I think a great sign off phrase would be, "Now tell 5 friends about this review or so help me god I will stab you in your ballsack while you sleep."

November 13th, 2012, 5:59 PM
Good stuff here, VHS. Concise, yet doesn't miss unimportant details, and the rating system is very unique. I don't mind the multiple levels of grades, but Cewsh's suggestion of keeping it to the main four would probably be best.

November 13th, 2012, 6:20 PM
You're all right. I've set it with 4 ratings... EJECT being the worst and RECORD being the best. And I've colored them so people don't have to scroll to remember if it's good or bad. The comments are very appreciated, hopefully from now on things will flow more smoothly.

One Man Gang
November 13th, 2012, 6:21 PM
I confess I read your "EJECT" in Soundwaves voice. :p

November 13th, 2012, 6:43 PM
You're all right. I've set it with 4 ratings... EJECT being the worst and RECORD being the best. And I've colored them so people don't have to scroll to remember if it's good or bad. The comments are very appreciated, hopefully from now on things will flow more smoothly.


Excellent idea.

November 17th, 2012, 1:48 AM
You have a good gimmick and your write ups are worth reading even if you are wrong (which you haven't been so far). You also have sex appeal with your color code.


mr sabu
November 17th, 2012, 6:56 AM
what happens if theres a match that bad you keep watching it to laugh at how bad it is

November 17th, 2012, 12:55 PM
Cewsh should just quit now because VHS is taking over.

He needs to change his name to DVD to have any hope of competing.

Or Blu-Ray.

November 17th, 2012, 1:08 PM
You also have sex appeal with your color code.

It's the only thing I know!

what happens if theres a match that bad you keep watching it to laugh at how bad it is

If it's shlock, it's shlock. I never hesitate to mention how bad it is, but I also never forget to add whether or not I enjoyed it. Unless it's a Ryback match, then I usually wouldn't bother. :)

Felonious Punk
November 18th, 2012, 12:59 AM
I confess I read your "EJECT" in Soundwaves voice. :p

:lol: Same.

I'm really enjoying these reviews, I've had a good time reading them and seeing the shows from another perspective. I like the commentary, and I LOVE the rating system. Very unique and cleverly consistent with your "gimmick". I'm looking forward to more.

November 24th, 2012, 3:44 PM
Business has sure picked up this week. I was rented for the first time in ages, by a bunch of college hipsters that didn't even know how to hook up a dang VCR. Kids these days, I swear. If not for them I probably would have wasted my own time reviewing Raw 5 days ago, and it would have been a bitter-induced rant about how much I thought it sucked. When I say that it genuinely upset me... I mean it. WWE came off a PPV with an ending that had us all palavering over what was going to happen. Dean Ambros... Seth Rollins... Roman Reigns... they're here! Three new phenomenal superstars had been introduced to the masses, and what did we get the night after? The same crap that WWE does. Lazy booking and most of all... zero progression. It put me in a wrestling-fan stooper that we had to wait another week if we wanted to see any sort of transition into the future, when we could have seen it the night after Survivor Series. But no, the writers took a night off. Isn't that precious?

But yesterday I watched something that brought me out of my trough... NXT. I sincerely hope more people are watching this beautiful show because it's become everything I love about a pro wrestling show. It has density. It invokes excitement because it has matches that actually mean something, matches that flow in a forward motion... unlike pointless abominations like Khali vs. Primo/Epico. Really? Nobody on the show is being wasted, and I look forward to it more than Raw. Seriously, it's that good. So now I invite you all. It's time... once again... for everybody... to REWIND!

11/21/12 Review

Kassius Ohno promo: PLAY

It took me a good few weeks for me to warm up to Kassius, and it usually takes me a good never if I don't like somebody out of the starting gates. He's comfortable in his character, and that's all it takes for him to be exactly what Alberto Del Rio isn't... convincing. His line about ending Richie Steamboat's career and referring to it as the "Steamboat Treatment" was a nice jab to the gut. I know it sounds stupid, but I'm going to refer to this as a Prohno. Please don't hate me for that, ok?

I'm not sure who this interviewer is, but he definitely graduated from the Kristen Stewart school of acting with high honors because he has a dead look in his eyes that could decay a block of wood. I know he's just starting out, but come on. Look happy to be there, son.

Another thing I enjoy about NXT is the introduction. The song "Welcome Home" by Coheed and Cambria is a perfect fit for a show like this. It sets a hard-edged tone all the while giving you glimpses of a roster that doesn't mess around. You see quick cuts of Paige... Ascension... Bray Wyatt... and you can't help but feel intrigued by all these fresh new faces, all the while seeing superstars from the main roster. Seeing Tyson Kidd and Alicia Fox intermingled with these other youngsters only adds to your curiosity.

That and the attractive color palette mesh into what seems to be a flawlessly characterized product. This is what happens when somebody actually finds something that fits, rather than something that could be popular among the highest common denominator.

Alicia Fox vs. Paige: PLAY

I'm sorry, but what is so wrong about giving us a match like this on Raw? Why hasn't WWE debuted Paige yet? She sticks out to the point where you feel like you've known her all this time, which would be a pleasure because despite her metal exterior... she's cute as a button.

Alicia's always been a diva that I've enjoyed watching due to probably the reason why I like Paige so much. She sticks out. She has her own style, and I like it a lot. There's a certain brutality that she brings to her matches that makes me cringe every time her opponent takes any sort of damage, and it also added to my hopes for Paige to survive!

After some small chain wrestling, Paige shows her spark while Alicia shows her athleticism... and there was a botched til-a-whirl something, but it wasn't anything that killed their momentum. The two played to the crowd and in no time the fans were back in as if it never happened. Paige showed perseverance and hit a sweet kick to the gut that got a reaction out of the crowd. She fought back and hit her finish which is called the Paige Turner. Sweet name and a sweet move. A divas match that we could have had on Raw, instead of Kaitlyn and Aksana.

Camacho vs. Big E. Langston: PLAY

Langston is a star, now I told ya. It's hard for me not to think of Ryback when I sit here watching a superior entertainer make quick waste of Camacho. He's so good at interacting with the crowd. It's what Ryback doesn't do at all, IMO. Ryback acts within his little bubble of character, while Big E. acknowledges the crowd to the degree of which he could probably hit his finish a million times in one night if the fans wanted it. Langston is something special.

For some reason when I hear his music, I think of Viscera. I think it's because they're both such menacing physical specimens yet their themes have chill tones. Not saying they're twins, I just find Viscera popping into my plastic brain whenever E's music hits. Compare the two and let me know if I'm nuts. Langston (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uCXOHg044PE)... Viscera (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OAC8LnZ0G88)...

Bronson vs. Nick Rogers: PLAY

Bronson... where did this guy come from? He's amazing. His "work the leg" style is painful to watch and his relentless attitude only adds to his repetoir. He seemed like a passable beast when he was simply bashing Rogers in the corner, but out of nowhere he hits a sickening kick to ribs that kind of made me go "Dang, that hurt." It was something that lasted only a split second, but it was an effective peek into what this guy's capable of. He can bust out foot work whever he wants, and that makes him even more scary. And it surely didn't do Mr. Rogers any favors that Bronson was screaming continuously into his ears the entire time. He came off as a masterful technician with his constant knee drops, and it made sense that a guy like Bronson could make quick do of any opponent.

After hitting a painful leg sweep, he locks in his submission maneuver for the quick win. I watched this match 2 times, and I remember thinking how painful the move looked the first time especially with Nick shrieking in pain so much. It sounded like he was being burned alive. But when I watched the match again, I noticed that it was Bronson who was screaming, not Nick. Creepy bastard.

Luke Harper vs. Mike Dalton Ziggler: PLAY

Bray Wyatt's character is going to be momentous on the main roster if he's allowed to be himself without any inhibitions. And Luke Harper... I'm a big fan of this guy. Maybe it's because I was such a huge fan of Skinner, or maybe it's because he looks like a genuinely scary guy to square off against?

Luke kept looking at Bray as if he was seeking his approval. Was a nice touch.

Seth Rollins/Jinder Mahal backstage: FAST FORWARD

Haha, I thought this came off as silly. Like two kids play-fighting. :lol:

Kassius Ohno vs. Richie Steamboat: PLAY

Richie's "fire and determination" as JR put it is exactly why I like him so much. I'd like to see him go against guys like Daniel Bryan and CM Punk some day, if he'd be able to debut for crying out loud. This is an old school main event that was allowed some serious time, especially since NXT is a show that lasts an hour. Both were allowed to show who they are in the ring. Richie's the next sparkplug underdog with a lineage behind him... Ohno's the power wrestler that likes to play with his food. The only thing that I feel was lacking was the finish. Steamboat needs a more convincing finish, because it doesn't look like a move that could put a guy like Ohno away.

I do know that a match like this wouldn't be able to take place on Raw, which is unfortunate. If this match happened 5 days ago, the kids would be picking their noses and there would only be a smidge of cheers from the fans who know who these guys actually are.

Take a look at all that green, ladies and gentlemen. It's not every day you get to experience this much entertainment that doesn't feel crammed into a show that can last less than an hour. NXT may be substantially smaller than Raw and Smackdown, but it's more stable. It gives us what we used to enjoy about WWE when we don't have clueless writers who are so out of touch with story progression and booking, or revolving feuds that continue to bore the life out of me, or more importantly writers that don't think their fans are stupid enough to eat up the same shlock on a weekly basis.

NXT is pure, NXT is dedicated, and NXT is the real future of WWE. I love this show.
Show gets a 9.5 out of 10 from me.

Far side, top shelf, you know where to find me. Enjoy the holidays, people. Enjoy it like it could be your last.

November 25th, 2012, 1:49 AM
That was brilliant, VHS. Great job. And I wholeheartedly agree with all of it. :yes:

December 18th, 2012, 10:52 PM
It's insane how fast the days have gone by since my last review. Nearly four weeks have passed, and I can't help but feel disappointed in myself for not keeping at this as consistently as I'd hoped. While the holiday season has been grueling, I still see Cewsh and Psycho trudging through the snow like vikings. My hat goes off to y'all.

I don't want to come off as a bitter videotape, but I can't help but express how heavy Raw weighed down on me. TLC was a spectacular show... my personal favorite for this year in fact. Now I know Extreme Rules is ranked up as best of 2012, but TLC clicked for me in all the right places. The matches were superbly entertaining, the booking told us great stories, and we were all left with the pining sensation to watch Raw the following night. Things were looking up in the world of sports entertainment, but instead of witnessing our preconception of forward momentum... we were greeted with a 3 hour kick to the balls. This will not be an easy review, me thinks. It will be quick, but it will not be easy. So in the words of Al Simmons, let's get this over with. It's time... once again... for everybody... to REWIND!

Monday Night Raw
12/17/12 Review

Rey Mysterio vs. Damien Sandow: PLAY

Rey Mysterio gets his entrance, but Sandow doesn't. Now that doesn't really mean much in terms of who will be the victor, but it is rather disconcerting for the beard of geometric perfection to be ignored in such a way. The match itself is short-lived with Rey pinning Sandow quicker than Ryback could beat Maddox, but hey... Rhodes Scholars won the match that meant something, and that's all that matters.

Slammy #1 - Tell Me I Didn't Just See That: EJECT

What was the point of Boogeyman just coming out on stage just for him to be gone when they came back from commercial? It was so robotically weird.

Kaitlyn vs. Eve: FAST FORWARD

So this is happening again, ehh? Goody.

There's not much else that can be said other than this ended before anything could get going. Neither Eve or Kaitlyn got an entrance and the match was over in five eye blinks. Kaitlyn's progress in the ring isn't being able to shine through during these phantom frame matches, and Eve's spectacularly sexy self isn't able to work with anything other than the 2 minutes she's given. The division deserves better.

Slammy #2 - Comeback of the Year: FAST FORWARD

Video footage of a man almost dying equals ratings? I love King, but it's against my vice principals to vote for something that almost ended his life. Seeing Road Dogg and Billy Gunn together again always puts a smile on my face though.

Tensai vs. Kofi Kingston: FAST FORWARD

This is a guy that beat John Cena, and he lost to Kofi Kingston in one move.Barrett levels Kofi with the elbow and smirks to the crowd like he's Billy Badass, almost as if to make us forget that he lost 24 hours ago. If I were him, I'd be showing some signs of bitterness.

Slammy #3 - Kiss of the Year:PLAY

The pop when AJ engulfed Dolph was huge, as if everybody shared a simultaneous "FINALLY!" It's not every day we get to see something play out the way you hoped, and this did not disappoint. Vickie hasn't done Dolph any favors, and it's high time for Mr. Ziggler to be elevated for crying out loud. And AJ could be the key to his true success.

Great Khali vs. David Otunga: EJECT

Cole laughs at Khali like he's a top heavy totem pole, but then reminds us he was once World Champion. What a guy.

Slammy #4 - Superstar of the Year: RECORD

This is the meat of the show. And wouldn't you know it, it involved the man Ric Flair. Seriously, he looks like a well done hamburger left out during the summer, but he put a big smile on my face with the way he handled himself against Punk. From his HOF rings to 4 ex-wives comment. By the way, where the heck was John Cena when this was going on? What, he gives the award to Ric and then gets some coffee?

Having Ric provoking Punk and Heyman was a sight I won't ever forget, especially with Punk in crutches. I can only imagine how much these two were laughing about this backstage, yammering about how much fun it was.

Then when Shield came down and Dean traded shots with the Man himself, I think I nearly self-destructed. Amazing segment.

Brodus Clay vs. JTG: EJECT

Energy critical.

Slammy #5 - LOL Moment of the Year: EJECT

This is pathetic television.

Sin Cara vs. Cody Rhodes: PLAY

The lights dim. Shoot, I was just beginning to enjoy Sin Cara's matches even more when the lights stayed on. If WWE insists on keeping this light setup, then I say both guys should wear mining helmets. My 2 cents.

I must admit. While I'm not being as descriptive as I have in the past, I still needed to take a break after writing a two paragraph synopsis on how Santino bothers me and how Tensai is a giant retard. It was nice however, to watch an actual match with Cody and Cara since the two have had a lot of time to develop some decent chemistry. Sin Cara deserves some mad respect for keeping his footing since coming back, and he's actually becoming one of my favorite guys at the moment. He's been through hell, much of which was his fault, but he's pushing forward.

Slammy #6 - Hashtag of the Year: EJECT

Shlock. I don't care about hastags.

Big Show/Sheamus segment: EJECT

Every match these two have had, I've enjoyed, but holy toast.... why won't this end? The crowd was chanting boring for a reason.

And here was when something really rubbed me the wrong way. This is when Ziggler was moments away from successfully cashing in his MITB on Big Show, but what happened? John Cena comes out and jumps Dolph. I'm sorry... but that's such a low blow, especially on Cena's own standards. When was the last time John uncharacteristically swept the legs out from somebody like that? He has no real reason to be upset with Ziggler other than the fact that he lost to him the night before. It showed a tremendous amount of bitterness within John that made him look like a petulant child that didn't get what he wanted, so he ruined a monumental moment in somebody's career. Bad form, John. Bad form.

Miz, Alberto Del Rio, and Tommy Dreamer vs. 3MB: PLAY

This was ten slices of weird. I'm starting to feel a little optimistic about Alberto's face turn which literally happened overnight, and Miz as a face will definitely work. I've got faith in the man. And 3MB, I don't dislike them, but I don't see any long term use (or plans) for them. Heath's a fantastic heel, Drew's a monster, and Jinder's.... I don't know. It was cool having this last longer than the slew of squash we've had all night, and it was also nice seeing Tommy again. Wasn't an OMG moment when his music hit though.

Slammy #7 - Breakout Star of the Year: FAST FORWARD

Ryback quotes Owen Hart saying "Enough is enough, and it's time for a change." One thing that Ryback fails to understand is that when Owen mentioned change, he meant for the better.

Ryback vs. Antonio Cesaro: PLAY

I was actually perked to see these two in the same ring, but I was less perked about the "heel countout" route. It's fine evidence of "we don't know how else to end this match."

SLAMMY #8 - Best Match of the Year: FAST FORWARD

Crowd chants "We want Taker" so Hunter kisses up, swicthing it to "Thank you Hunter." Smart bastard.

AJ/Dolph Ziggler vs. John Cena/Vickie: FAST FORWARD

The Cena/AJ/Dolph thing has had so many twists and turns, it's almost hard to remember where this shlock even began. I was positive that things were on the up & up when AJ kissed Dolph, but when she brought out Langston I was so lost. So this is how Big E. Langston gets his debut? The man deserved a more ceremonious arrival than just walking out, leveling Cena, and then standing there for 2 seconds before the show went to black.

That's a lot of red.

I gave Raw a 3 out of 10, and I am exhausted. Just what the hell is going on with WWE, you guys? It appears they're not even taking the time to think things through before they pull the trigger, like they're making this stuff up on the fly! If this keeps up, WWE's going to have a terrible holiday season because they've been putting out cruddy television like this on an even more consistent basis. Speaking of, I sincerely wish you all happy holidays. Enjoy it... or else.

January 4th, 2013, 11:35 PM
What's the best way to start off the new year? An episode of NXT, stupid! It's time... once again... for everybody... to REWIND!

1/2/13 Review

Shield segment: PLAY

We fade in, and there's utter pandemonium in the ring as The Shield are pummeling two wrestlers in the ring. It was a neat start, hearing the announcers not knowing what the heck was gong on, as if to insinuate that "anything can happen" on WWE television. Mission accomplished because not only did Dean, Seth, and Roman derail Dusty's show, they claimed it for themselves. As expected, each man got their own message across all the while sticking with the continuity we've witnessed thus far. Seth Rollins is still the NXT champion, but Dusty cursed him by putting him in a match against Corey Graves. Even in such little time, NXT opens the show in a more effective and concise manner than Raw can.

Bo Dallas vs. Epico: PLAY

"We want Rosa!" chant. What a grand crowd.

Bo's really failed to "wow" me even through the firecracker personality that he has, and Cewsh was right when he said he's probably peaked in terms of what he's capable of. I don't think his energetic antics seem forced at all, nor do I dislike his style... because only few superstars today can even claim to have one at all. Bo's got genuine charisma about him, and there's no doubt in my mind that with more work and some matches against the big boys, the fans on Raw and SD will like him. But one thing he needs to tone down is the baby oil because as soon as the match started, he hit the ropes and slingshotted the back of his head with the top rope on account of being slicker than a Xenomorph's forehead. Ouch.

But enough about Bo, what about Epico? He's become insanely underrated as a worker, which is a shame because he and his cousin are everything a tag team should be. His high flying style is believable and organic. None of his offense seems spotty or orchestrated. He hits Bo with a suplex, and follows up with a springboard elbow to the back. Simple stuff like that makes me happy. He also knows how to carry himself, his opponent, and the overall atmosphere of the match... like for instance as soon as he senses the crowd simmering, he argues with the ref and yells "You suck!". That keeps everybody awake.

I'm going to be honest about the spear... I've never liked it as a finisher.

The Genesis of McGillicutty makes the save before Bo gets beat down by the cousins of destruction, and while I don't get why, I still approve.

Sasha Banks vs. Tamina: PLAY

Short and sweet, but also effective in different ways. Tamina's been re-packaged (I guess) as WWE's current "strong" diva now that Beth Phoenix is gone, and I'd say she's doing an alright job. I like her menacing demeanor, and holy toast her Superfly Splash is sick. And I don't really know much about Sasha Banks, but she seems like a talented little lady. For her second appearance, she still managed to show some quality, a decent top rope Sin Cara armdrag.

Leo Kruger/Kassius Ohno vs. Tyson Kidd/Justin Gabriel: PLAY (Match of the night)

For a guy that had me excited back in his early NXT days, Justin Gabriel has really fallen flat. For a "high flyer" he sure does put me to sleep sometimes. I guess it's done him a giant load of good teaming up with Tyson though, who by the way is freaking ripped for a shortstack. That move they do where Justin reclines their opponent's head only to have Tyson dropkick him in the face is decapitating to watch. That looks lethal. And their relentless arsenal of kick and suicide dives keeps the crowd on their feet. I'd really like to see these two in a death defying TLC match someday because they're capable of some epic moments.... if allowed.

If I had to choose between Kruger or Ohno, I'd have to go with Kruger. I know Ohno's kind of an Internet darling in some parts, but he's still been another guy that puts me to sleep sometimes. He's had a great main event with Steamboat in the past, but I can't think of any other time he's had me intrigued. And his whole "I knock people out" thing is so lazily dumb. Kruger on the other hand, scares the piss out of me and is definitely on of my favorite NXT guys at the moment.

Corey Graves vs. Seth Rollins: PLAY

Corey Graves... I like him mainly because he doesn't look like your typical superstar and he's fundamentally sound in the ring. This is somebody who can show some serious promise in the future, same as Rollins. I hope his This Is England attire stays. Also, another thing that I admire about him is the fact that he's mainly a submission wrestler! What?! You'd never think just by looking at him that his method of offense included submission maneuvers! You're full of surprises, Mr. Baggins.

Pleasantly surprised by this match, mostly by how effective Rollins is as a heel. I honestly thought very little of him before he joined The Shield, but now he has an actual presence about him that demands our attention. It's crazy how a tweak in character like this can captivate people in such a short amount of time. Really extravagent work from both men here, as the highlight comes when Rollins lands a monstrous enziguri that made me cringe during the replay. Cory's timing was off by a sliver during a few moments, but it's nothing he won't pick up easily by the next time we see him.

But wait... before the match can even enter the second act, The Shield interfere and we've got madness amidst us! NXT roster guys get plowed down, but when Langston's music hit I felt my excitement hit its peak.

You see that? That's a consistent... 100%... blanket of green, which is what NXT is. Consistent. I can't think of anybody on the entire NXT roster that I dislike, nor can I not help but compare NXT's roster to Raw's or SD's. There are so many talented individuals on this show that it pisses me off that valuable air time is being wasted on Brodus Clay, Santino Marella, Zack Ryder, Great Khali, David Otunga, and Hornswoggle. Every single NXT superstar has an actual character that doesn't involve pandering to crowds or smiling like mecahnical mannequins. Each has me excited about something, and just wondering how well they're going to do once they debut. What's going to happen when Leo Kruger debuts? How will the fans react when Bo Dallas goes ballistic on Monday Night Raw? How will Bray Wyatt's character translate against the main roster? The possibilities are endless, and it's all thanks to NXT.

9.5 out of 10 show.

Be kind, my fellow tapes, and rewind. There's a hefty price to pay otherwise.

February 8th, 2013, 6:12 PM
NXT first aired in 2010, and it's taken the littlest shobo nearly 3 years to find its identity in WWE. What we have today is the real brewing ground for tomorrow's superstars, which has me optimistically colored for the future. But let's take a look at the first season of NXT, shall we?

It's time... once again... for everybody... to REWIND.

WWE NXT Season 1
Roster Review

"We are wild and young, and we have just begun." These were the first words we heard when the show opened, and I'm sure none of us knew what to think when we were greeted by the now welcomed yellow and black colors. When I first started reading up on what kind of show NXT was going to be, I thought it was going to be a reality show that wasn't going to focus on wrestling all that much. Luckily, I thought wrong.

Each Superstar had their own "Rookie". Let's look back on who had what, and whether or not it was worth a damn:

Rookie: Michael Tarver EJECT

Let's get the fuzz out of the way first. Tarver came off as a total goof, doing his silly T sign with his arms, which made me giggle at times. He looked like a human bulldog that pumped his fists like he was an MMA brute, and his ring presence was lacking. Nothing about him excited me or pulled me in, and it doesn't surprise me that he's nowhere to be found in the year 2013. Waste of a spot on a show like this.

Rookie: David Otunga FAST FORWARD

Two years after he debuted, he found a character that I thought was pretty entertaining. He had his look down with his preppy suit and bow tie, and his coffee mug was the icing on the cake. Unfortunately, even after being tied to John Laurinaitus's foursome of doom, he's nothing more than your average jobber these days. In fact, it's rare for him to even be seen on television! His wrestling skills still rank as below average, and I've never seen him be able to hold his own when he's not playing second banana behind another heel. So while he stays absent, I don't find myself missing him at all.

Matt Hardy
Rookie: Justin GabrielFAST FORWARD

This is one guy I had high hopes for 3 years ago. He showed holy toast amounts of potential with his fast-paced offense and high flying finish, but what has he done since then? Nothing comes to mind. He's very capable of putting on wonderful matches, but other than being involved with Nexus and tagging with Tyson Kidd, I can't say he's contributed anything of value to WWE as of yet. On top of that, he's never shown a lick of character or charisma in the 3 years that we've known him.

Chris Jericho
Rookie: Wade Barrett REC

Yeah, let's get some green in here. He's become one of the most promising heels in years, and it's also nice that he's still IC Champion even though he's had somewhat of a losing streak in recent weeks. That said, his mic skills have gotten himself and his opponents over to the point where we know what we're in for once we hear his voice. And his wreslting... solid. Not much else to say other than he's trudged his way up the charts, and is no doubt a future main eventer. Wonderful standout performer.

Rookie: Heath Slater FAST FORWARD

Let me be perfectly clear here... I like Heath Slater. He's a natural heel that fans love to boo, and his One Man Band thing was decent enough to get himself over as a mid-card bad guy. It's a shame that he's stuck in 3MB hell with Drew and Jinder because it's not getting him anywhere, let's be honest. It's shlock. He's never had the chance to be his own superstar, and I don't see any use for the guy unless he ditches his 2 bandmates. He should call his stable 3 Years Wasted. Lame joke.

CM Punk
Rookie: Darren Young PLAY

He and Titus have been my favorite tag team in years, which is a shame since I've recently heard news/rumors of PTP being split up. Just, why? He's been a tremendous contributor to the tag division, and it would be a huge mistake for him to cut ties from Titus. He's funny, charismatic, a wonderful talker, and a solid in-ring performer. He looked to be injured after his spill at the Royal Rumble so let's hope he'll be ok and that he'll have PTP to come back to in the future. He's a keeper.

William Regal
Rookie: Skip Sheffield REC

Oh, yeah. This guy. If I was rating these guys strictly on preference, something Cewsh has exposed me to (http://img69.imageshack.us/img69/7070/preciateit.jpg), I'd give Skip a flat EJECT because I think he's a shlocky wrestler with a one dimensional character. I'm a weak sucker that can't let my disdain for Ryback shine through, but at least I'm plastic enough to admit it. And there's no dogging the fact that WWE has created a new John Cena for the fans to cheer. That is big, and it should be interesting to see his progression into full-fledged main event status once he's ready for it. Huge benefits from this man.

The Miz
Rookie: Daniel Bryan REC

Three years ago, I knew this little guy would be something after his debut match with Jericho. And he hasn't disappointed one bit! He's arguably the most over individual to come out of NXT, and his future value cannot be denied in the slightest. His involvement with AJ and Kane was immensely awesome, and his tag run with the Big Red Machine revitalized the tag division. Because of Daniel, we now have an over chant that hasn't gotten old yet. It's safe to say Daniel Bryan has been a huge success.

Quick rundown of NXT Season 1... done. Back to my shelf of solitude, my fellow tapes. Until next time, be safe... or don't.

February 8th, 2013, 6:23 PM

Very enjoyable wrap up. Tarver gave me the giggles the entire time too.

April 19th, 2013, 1:36 PM
How do you do? My name is VHS, and I’m still in love with NXT, K bye.
It's time... once again... for everybody... to REWIND.

WWE NXT Season 2
Roster Review

After NXT’s first season, I was hooked by a titanium fishing line. There was a kind of spark that it created with the introduction of the Nexus which gave the show something what the majority of WWE was missing… purpose. It established that these little fellers had huge aspirations in making an impact in WWE, and the NXT Season 1 did just that. Then comes Season 2 and all was right with the world. Let’s see if it made a bigger impact than its predecessor, shall we?
And remember, these ratings reflect how much of an impact the rookies have made thus far.

Rookie: Kaval EJECT

I was wondering who could have me more excited to watch NXT than Dnaiel Bryan, and Kaval was the guy. Just seeing him wow the crowds with his unique offense and win us over with his lovably deep voice made us wonder what his matches with the main roster would be like. What would it be like to see Kaval make his way up the ranks and have his first Wrestlemania match? Oh, the possibilities. Unfortunately, despite winning NXT Season 2 altogether, he was released and then there were tumbleweeds. There’s an awful lot of conjecture concerning his departure, but to me I’m sure he was just being a little headcase about not being as worshipped among the main roster as he wanted. That’s me. The writers didn’t have any big plans for him coming out of NXT and he saw that as a reason to high tail it back to wherever he is these days. In case you haven’t noticed, I’m extremely bitter about this little hellraiser. Wasted opportunity, and a big one at that.

Kofi Kingston
Rookie: Michael McGillicutty PLAY

Oh, the guy that had the quote of the entire season. We all heard it and we all laughed at it. Hennig Jr. is a promising youngster that has actually been tearing it up on NXT still to this day, and I highly recommend catching his matches with Tyson Kidd. He’s very explosive and (at times) pretty charismatic, but he’s missing something. I don’t think Michael has that hook with fans yet, at least not on the main shows. He can put on some fantastically old school bouts with the big boys, but he’s s fine example of someone who needs a valet/mouthpiece/character. After Season 2, he hasn’t done anything of note… he was a tag champ for a little bit, and he wore a baseball cap backwards, and he got some sick entrance music. But even after all that, at least he’s still working on his craft and he’s become one of the most promising prospects coming out of NXT. He can be great some day.

The Miz
Rookie: Alex Riley FAST FORWARD

Why is he not back with Miz? When these two teamed up, it was like peas and carrots. After Miz’s first rookie proverbially owned him, he got what he was looking for out of Riley: a dedicated lackey. It was like the two had been together all this time even though they were just getting started. What’s Riley done since NXT? Besides being kicked to the curb by the Mizaninin, absolutely nothing. Riley’s a total package when it comes to being a heel, and I really hope he comes back at some point just so he can call us a bunch of dorks again.

Cody Rhodes
Rookie: Husky Harris REC

Yeah, boy. Finally, we’re getting somewhere. At first sight Husky was a guy that stood out among the rest, and I’m not referring to his gut. He had that look of pure confidence in his eyes that made you know he was genuine in everything he did. He was fast, impactful with his offense, and his mic skills were unique. Now look at him. He’s become NXT’s greatest villain ever, and it looks as though he’s being called up sooner than we thought. In terms of his character, the possibilities are endless. Husky/Bray is a keeper.

Rookie: Percy Watson EJECT

Close your eyes and think of something that sucks, you’ll swear that Percy Watson was in the room. Hasn’t done a dang thing since NXT Season 2, and there’s been no indication of change in his future as of yet. Oh yeah.

Mark Henry
Rookie: Lucky Cannon EJECT

Lucky was your stereotypically generic babyface cranked up past everybody’s bedtime, and I just said that out loud like I was Dusty Rhodes. The fans didn’t buy into him, and that was fun getting a kick out of. The only thing Lucky contributed to WWE was Cody Rhodes’ first… VERY FIRST… disaster kick. We really appreciate your services, Mr. Cannon. But above all, we appreciate you shooting yourself out of our lives faster than a… you get it.

John Morrison
Rookie: Eli Cottonwood EJECT

Boy, this sure got hairy in a hurry. When I was thinking about which guy had the quote of the season, it was down to Cottonwood or McGillicutty and I decided to go with McGillicutty only because I flipped a coin. Holy flogging toast, this guy was bad. I remember watching his first video package and I was in stitches laughing at how ridiculous he looked. He looked like a giant with a mental disability trying to play it off like he was actually scary. His facial gestures were so obscenely forced that it made me feel sorry for him. He made his infamous “mustache” promo and then like a fart in a tornado, he was gone. When you have John Morrison laughing at you, you know you suck.

Zack Ryder
Rookie: Titus O’Neil PLAY

Back in Titus’ early days, I thought he was garbage. It’s amazing how far he’s come since botching his first match 3 years ago, and he’s become part of my favorite tag team in WWE today… the PTP. The man’s talent cannot be denied. You look at him now, and he can absolutely own John Cena on the mic while playing a character named Pancake Patterson! How is that even possible?! I swear, push this man and watch him become something great.

You think of NXT Season 2 and you imagine the possibilities that could have been. The show was filled to the brim with potential, and most of that potential has been wasted since 2010. The only two that have risen from the ashes are Bray Wyatt and “Big Deal” Titus O’Neil, which isn’t a bad thing by any stretch of the imagination, but there’s no dogging the fact that I had higher hopes about this season than I did the first. Pity. Well, it’s back to the shelf for now. We’ve all experienced some heavy life lessons these past few weeks (and months), but if there’s one thing we can get out of it… it’s this (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LIRJlFAxfG8).

I'll be watching you guys. So be good.

April 19th, 2013, 3:44 PM
Great stuff here, VHS. Brief, yet thorough read, and I agreed with almost every word. I didn't watch NXT 2(mostly because I had just gotten into wrestling after it took place), but the roster seemed to have such promise. Thankfully, the men who deserve it are getting there's, but Kaval is definitely the biggest disappointment. I would have loved to see what would become of him if he had stuck around longer.

April 19th, 2013, 4:43 PM
Absolutely. I was hoping to see Kaval as this little firecracker that could stand toe to toe with all these superstars that were bigger than him and level them with a single kick. Plus every time he'd get fired up, the fans would cringe every time he landed some offense.

Glad you enjoyed it! By the way, I didn't know you had a podcast, which is awesome. :yes: