The Wish Spoiler Game

[toysailor]

Let's try this for a board game (it worked on another board, might be fun :dunno: )

The first poster will post a wish and the next poster will twist his words, find some loophole, whatever, and spoil the first poster's wish. He will, thereafter, post his wish for the next guy to desecrate.

e.g.

Poster #1:
I wish I have a million bucks

Poster #2:
You get a million bucks.
In champo (i.e. a Computer game)

I wish I am the world's best rugby player.

Poster #3:
You are the world's best rugby player.
But rugby becomes the world's least popular sport, and you're the only one playing it.

I wish I have good looks.

Poster #4:
Granted. People give you long, hard "good" looks - they can't help staring at your ugliness.


You get the idea.

Lemme get the ball rolling.

I wish the deadlines for my assignments are extended for another 4 weeks.

[PMBR]

The deadlines for your assignments will all be extended another 4 weeks, but you failed all of them anyway.


I wish that I had an endless supply of Cheez-Whiz

[DogCalledDave]

You have an endless supply of Cheez-Wizz. But your stomach can't break it down and by eating it you slowly get bigger and bigger.

I wish bitorrent worked behind this *&%$£ Beefy as you like firewall

[PMBR]

did you even just make a sentence???

[Mikey_Jones]

I dunno...I'll do one. I wish I was slim forever

[Bennedy]

You are slim. But forever is over.

I wish i was not a wrestling fan

[viva_la_raza]

But suddenly westling was cool and no one wanted to be your friend.

I wish I had Jessica Simpson

[Bennedy]

You could have Jessica Simpson. If Jessica Simpson was not you mother.

I wish i had all the pretty woman

[Mikey_Jones]

You can't afford them. Just have to stay wih your mum for now

I wish I could play football as good as Ronaldinio(sp)

[toysailor]

Granted. You can now play football as well as Ronaldinho. But the same wish is granted to every other soccer player in the world, so you're effectively mundane on the field.

I wish I can hold my liquor better :ashamed:

[Zaek]

You can hold your liquor better, but instead you hold it forever and u slowly increase in size, and ur bladder bursts ;)

I wish life didn't suck so much :(

[PMBR]

Life doesnt suck so much, but you begin to suck much more instead

I wish popcorn grew on trees

[Hells Bells]

They do now, but with a shortage of butter, it's hard to butter them so they all die.

I wish Gandhi was still alive.

[PMBR]

he is alive but he has convinced everyone that you are satan... and they murder you


i wish pamela anderson would give me oral sex

[Bluegunn]

She would, but it would be all over the net

I wish we would all just get along

[Bennedy]

We do all get along. But the thing is every one get's along very well with you.



I wish i was famous

[toysailor]

You start sporting warts and tumours all over your body. You become famous a la The Elephant Man mode :D

I wish I have kick-arse Matrix kungfu skills!

[Mikey_Jones]

You have them, but meet a master karate man. You go to show off your skills, but he floors you.

I wish I could be 25 forever

[toysailor]

Your wish is granted. You will suffer depression caused by ennui and angst of living after another 200 years. You will finally die of boredom at the age of 325..... I mean, "25". :D

I wish I have uber-1337 m4d pr0 h4x0r skillz to hack into Bill Gates bank account and get away without leaving a trail.

[Bennedy]

you done all that. But you got caught.

I wish i could live in a strange world.

[PMBR]

you live in a strange world... unfortunately it is a third world country and you starve to death

i wish i was superman (NOT CHRISTOPHER REEVES..... beat you before you got it bitches)

[eugenespeed]

You are Superman, I've just legally changed your name by deed poll.

I wish I didn't have to go to work tomorrow.

[Mikey_Jones]

You don't. You get fired.

I wish I don't have to go to school tomorrow...

[eugenespeed]

You don't, they realise there is no point in teaching you anything

I wish that I could play guitar like Jimi Hendrix

[canuckin]

no problem, just keep very still

I wish I had 3 hands

[Mikey_Jones]

Congrtulations, your now a clock.

I wish I was happy for the rest of my life.

[canuckin]

to celebrate you have a big bbq
http://news.bbc.co.uk/media/images/41292000/jpg/_41292597_romanian300x245ap.jpg

I wish pepsi was free

[Zaek]

Pepsi is free but they can't manufacture fast enough so you can't get anyways.

I wish I was in a band

[Mikey_Jones]

You are, but they suck and end up breaking up, before you start busking on the streets.

I wsh I had a million pounds, that wasn't won on the lottery. It doesn't affect anyone else either so...there!

[canuckin]

your band sucks becuase it only plays abba covers

I had a money tree

[PMBR]

you have a money tree, but it is dead and barren

i wish canuckin's mom would have sexual intercourse with me

[toysailor]

C'mon dude - mom jokes aren't cool.

I wish I can fly.

[Zaek]

You now fly, but you can't stop and you keep flying and flying intill you reach to much air pressure and can't breathe...

I wish there were cures for everything

[Marijuana]

You hold it alright, it won't leave you liver.

I wish I had more weed.

[toysailor]

You do. A mere gram more.

I wish the chips I'm eating now are warm. Cold soggy chips suck :(

[Zaek]

The chips become warm, but they become to warm and begin to melt.

I wish George Bush wasn't president

[PMBR]

He isnt president, but his son of even less intelligence is

I wish George W. Bush wasnt president

[canuckin]

wait 3 years

I wish PaintMeBloodRed's brother was president

[Zaek]

Is president, but screws up PaintMeBloodRed's rep... O wait or is that a good thing...

I wish you could endlessy give reputation without the, you must spread reputation around.

[canuckin]

granted, but it will only work for canuckin, go ahead and try

i wish I could watch TV to night instead of working

[Zaek]

You watch tv all night, but everyone gets raises at work that day for being there.

I wish all druggies were gone.

[viva_la_raza]

But then you would not be here (soz couldn't think of anythin else)

I wish I were a chimpanze.

[OceansMafia]

You are, i'm sure you piss and shit yourself everyday


i wish i had a dollar everytime someone said "Oh My God" like Jim Ross

[Mikey_Jones]

Jim Ross trademarked that phrase, and we know what hapened to him....

I wish TNA would overtake WWE in ratings

[eugenespeed]

Fine, WWE have went bust.

I wish I had £50

[Mikey_Jones]

You do, but it's flown out of your hands due to a sudden wind

I wish all natural disasters would stop

[Zaek]

All natural diasters stop, but George Bush gets all fucked by launching nukes just to kill people.

I wish you could go back in time to re-do the past...

[Dazz]

You back and re-do it worse than the first time around

I wish I didn't have this damn student debt to pay off

[Zaek]

You dont have to pay off the student debt, but even more debts are mailed to you the next day...

I wish the world could just be peaceful

[FaSho34]

it is, but instead of peace, the world explodes into pieces.

I wish I had straighter hair

[Mazer]

The three hairs of you comb-over are perfectly straight.

I wish that I was taller.

[OceansMafia]

You are, around midgets

I wish i had a steak right now

[Mikey_Jones]

You do, but it is rotten with maggots inside it.

I wish I was rich

[canuckin]

ok, you have $200, but that only makes you rich is you stay in the poorest place on earth.

I lived on the Lost island

[turdpower]

I wish that you live on a lost island aswell.

[Tha Kyd]

You will until Columbus finds that too!

I wish that all the DS rejects would go back where they came from

[Brian M.]

They will, but the rest of the Women's division will go too.

I wish Kerwin White was on Raw more often.

[FaSho34]

He is, but it is his new show entitled Right, another White

I wish Triple H would not win the World title again

[canuckin]

sorry, that wish is never coming true, he'd win it from a wheel chair.

I wish the reputation game was still open

[Zaek]

It re-opens but instead we start neg repping you.

I wish people would stop polluting

[canuckin]

they do, but now we have an entire generation of hippies with nothing to get pissy about so they are all happy and just start making love all day long until everyone has at least 10 kids and then those kids have ten kids and those kids have ten kids, and suddenly there aren't enough veggie burgers and suddenly they are pissed and that's it anarchy baby.

i wish everyone would help find FaSho a new avatar in Open comedy league

[Zaek]

We find an avatar for Fasho, but he hates it and quits Rajah and we all mourn in sorrow for a dumbass mistake...

I wish i was accepted

[FaSho34]

you are accepted into an insane asylum

I wish I had a better rep

[Zaek]

You get a better rep, and so does everyone else...

I wish the people close to me didn't hurt me

[FaSho34]

They don't they just move one step farther away

I wish I won't get a crap avatar in the Comedy League

[canuckin]

how could you get a crap avatar, it's voted on by the members of this wonderful forum

I wish I told less lies

[Zaek]

Indeed you can't tell anymore lies, because you can't speak period...

I wish everyone understood me

[canuckin]

they understand you, they just don't like you...

I wish I wasn't so mean

[FaSho34]

You aren't, the others around you just get nicer.

I wish I wasn't so picky

[canuckin]

you're not and you learn to except your new gay looking avatar

I wish I had a gay avatar

[Zaek]

The one you already have is gay ;)

I wish Fasho recieves an avatar he wants

[FaSho34]

I will, because I will change my name and make sure Fa Sho won't get one :D

I wish I could use Greg Helms and/or Zaek's av he found for me

[canuckin]

you can, but will become bored of it quickly and go back to the gay one

I wish the bunny could live

[FaSho34]

It does, but it just dies and is revived numerous times

I wish I had a million non counterfitted dollars

[Zaek]

You have all the money you want, except everyone in the world now uses one money system and it's new and doesnt except anything else, there's exchange machines either...

I wish final fantasy 12 and kingdom hearts 2 would come out

[FaSho34]

They do... on another planet

I wish I can get Smackdown vs. Raw 2006

[Repo]

Its yours
But you get home and your ps2 has been replaced with a Super Nintendo

I wish i could eat plastic

[FaSho34]

You can, you just get sick when you are done

I wish I had diamonds

[Repo]

they are yours my friend but you go too far and cover yourself in them until the weight is to much to take you can now nolonger move your diamond encrusted body.

I wish i could have a bannana

[Dazz]

you have a banana but ravaged by a rabid monkey who also wants a banana and you die of some horrible monkey disease

I wish I had my own Penguin

[Repo]

you can have your penguin my friend but this is a confused penguin - he knows not the difference between fish and man - poor you my friend poor you

I wish i had a dvd of Thundercats

[Dazz]

you have a dvd of thundercats but no tv or dvd player to watch it with

i wish i was a photographer for fhm

[FaSho34]

You are, you just do not have a camera to use.

I wish I was in the WWE

[Dazz]

you get to be in wwe but end up jobbing to the entire junior division on velocity for your entire career

i wish i didnt have occasional bouts of insomnia

[Mikey_Jones]

You don't, you have regular ones instead.

I wish The Simpsons TV series ended

[Mazer]

It is cancelled, but it is replaced by one more lame family comedy starring a washed up former star.

I wish that my grad school stipend was more more.

[Bennedy]

It is and i would spoil it if i had a clue what you are on about.

I wish that i was the owner of sperm samples inc

[Zaek]

You own this stupid shit company, and have no sperm samples because no males are left on the planet...

I wish I could be proud and happy of myself all the time...

[FaSho34]

you are, you just won't feel any better about yourself

I wish I was a more of a ladie's man

[Mazer]

You get tons of ladies, but you become impotent.

I wish i had a cool catchphrase.

[Mister J]

You do. Unfortunately, it's "Why don't you... Stick it up my ASS!!!"

I want to marry a famous lady.

[Dazz]

you do but she's famous for being a transvestite

i wish i would think before i say things

[Mister J]

You try, but realize that you would end up never talking for lack of anything interesting to say.

I wish I had a pet beholder.

[Dazz]

you do, but it doesnt like you and mauls you while you sleep

I wish I was a hollywood director

[FaSho34]

You are, but you direct gay porn films

I wish I had a nice car

[toysailor]

Granted. You are now the proud owner of a "nice" toy car.

I wish for world peace! w00tz!

[FaSho34]

You do get world peace, but you do not live on earth anymore

I wish I had my own laptop

[Zaek]

You get a laptop, but the next day your robbed and you lost it.

I wish I don't get emotional hurt so much

[Andy™]

You don't get emotionally hurt, you just get beaten physically every time you step outside.

I wish I had washboard abs...

[Dazz]

you have washboard abs, unfortunately its through steriod use and they eventually explode

i wish i had a pet tortoise

[eugenespeed]

Fine, using magical powers, I've transformed your mother into a tortoise.

I wish it was Friday night again.

[FaSho34]

It is, but you still believe that it is Sunday, and you lose track of the date.

I wish I had less school

[Mister J]

You do, but then you end up old and stupid.

I wish I had a new car.

[FaSho34]

You do, it was just wrecked in a huge explosion

I wish I had more free time

[Mister J]

Sure thing, but you waste it away browsing the DOM thread and wanking off. :\

I wish I was a little bit taller.

[Jordo]

You're taller, you grow three inches...but everyone else grows four.

I wish was stronger.

[Mister J]

You're stronger than yesterday, however, you then choke to death on your own steroid pills.

I wish I had a girl who had curls.

[toysailor]

Granted. The missus (or daughter?) is now a churlish curly girl.

I wish some anti-pesto experts can turn up to remove the cockroach infestation in my house. I'm sick of having to run up and down smashing them up for my housemates >.> Sucks when you're the only good cockroach hunter around.

[FaSho34]

They do, but they accidently kill you too

I wish I was WWE World Heavyweight Champion, after winning at Wrestlemania against Batista

[Takerholic]

you did! but then you realise you were pretending to wrestle and are really just in your room, on your bed, and you just pinned your pillow!

I wish i had some a bottle of Jack right now!

[FaSho34]

You do... but a man jumps out of it and you end up with nothing.

I wish I had a Pepsi right now.

[Takerholic]

You do, but a small young girl with curly hair jumps out of it and makes it so you are stuck in the 90's FOREVER!

I wish The Undertaker was World Champ

[FaSho34]

He is, but he ends up losing it to KENNEDY!!!

I wish I had a nickel

[Rip]

You do but its all you'll ever have.........

I wish it was time to go home.

[FaSho34]

It is, but you have lost your home

I wish I could sing better

[Takerholic]

you can....in fact you've switched bodies with Michael jackson

I wish the WWE did an all female porn movie

[Rip]

It does, it stars Mae & Moola...........*shudder*

I wish it wasn't as cold

[FaSho34]

It isn't, but now there is a huge heat wave going to 150 degrees.

I wish I had the TNA Bound for Glory DVD

[Rip]

You do but your DVD player breaks.

I wish it was time for tea!

[Takerholic]

it is..but you just get tea bagged!

I wish Torrie and Lita always appeared on TV nude and uncensored

[FaSho34]

They do, but they are now twins of Mae and Moolah.... ugh!

I wish I had a functioning Xbox 360

[canuckin]

you do, but then the power goes out

I wish the old person above you thread was still alive

[Rip]

It is but you can't find it

I wish I was richer

[FaSho34]

You are, but it is only by a nickel

I wish I was a better artist

[Rip]

You are, a better artist than my dog

I wish i was 6'2

[Mister J]

You are, but 6'2" wide, not tall. :nono:

I wish I had an Oscar Mayer weiner.

[Rip]

(already am :D)

you do but its 43 years old

I wish it wouldn't snow today

[FaSho34]

It doesn't, it hails

I wish I had a longer vacation

[canuckin]

congradulations, you're fired.

I wish there were 30 hours in a day.

[Rip]

There are, you work 29 of them

I wish the radio were playing better music

[canuckin]

it plays better music but as a result less baby-boomer listen to it, so most stations go under. The only thing that's left is jazz.

I wish jazz became popular again.

[Rip]

It does, then they do Jazz idol, and Jazz Idol2, Jazz Idol3...................

I wish Simon Cowell would sod off

[canuckin]

he does, but now ant and dec rule the world.

i wish the black eyed peas hadn't of run out of lyric ideas in the studio, and just started singing about whatever body parts they were looking at.

[FaSho34]

congradulations, you're fired.



I don't have a job, I am still in school.. anyways..

They didn't, they just talk about body parts no one would wanna look at.

I wish I had better arm muscles.

[Rip]

You do, but your legs drop off

I wish i was 18 again

[FaSho34]

you are, but nothing is the same from when you were 18

I wish I had an iPod

[Rip]

you do, its pink, 3ft long and only plays cheeky girls tracks

i wish my forklift driver wasn't so thick

[toysailor]

VIOLA! Your forklift driver becomes the most brilliant man in the world, quits his forklift-driving job, thus leaving your forklift driverless.

I wish it would stop raining here :simon:

[Rip]

it does, but it never rains again and everyone dies, and its your fault

i wish it wasn't dark in the morning when i drive to work

[Takerholic]

It isn't...in fact the sun becomes so hot in the morning your face melts off

I wish all of the children on earth would die

[Rip]

(nice) they do, all their parents hunt you down..........

I wish it was Friday again

[Esoteric]

How unoriginal
:shifty:

[Alicia]

I spend an unhealthy amount of time posting in Esoteric's thread. Two would be insanity.

[toysailor]

Errr..... check the post dates - this one came first.

But whatever, I'm using the more recent one too. There is no need to bump this one.

Thread Closed please?